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Benefits
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Turning 40 confuses my heart and identity...I feel like I want to break free...get wild...be a different person...is this normal?
I have found that as each year passes I have become more confident and comfortable in my own skin. These feelings, I believe, can lead to a desire to transform oneself or try new things....break out of a mold which has previously been imposed on us by our circumstances (wife, mother, worker) and has made us dependent on those circumstances to define who we are. In many ways now, we can shed these ties that bind and explore “a new us“!
Totally normal. Please dig deep inside you - something is telling or hinting you that you are not liking your current situation. Dig deep again. Seek and you will find. It is a process. I assure you good will come out soon.
turning 40 is a great time for renewal. We enter into the second half of our life and while there are certainly rough patches along the way, it’s a tremendous opportunity to tailor make the rest of our lives.
Yes, honey - I went back to university - sold my business ..
I feel more comofortable about life and my friends and everything now at over 40 than ever before..... it’s time to have fun honey
Yes, it is normal, at any age!! You are in charge and can make of your life what you want! Around about 40 we tend to a bit of reveiw. Roughly half way through and what have we done? I know it was when I started to seriously think about what I wanted from life as parenting responsibilities lessened.
Enjoy this phase of your life and learn to love the uncertainty - and let us know what you do!!
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I believe that this is normal. What you feel is exactly that, what YOU feel. I had a mid-life crisis cruise when I turned 40 a year ago. Me and the girls had a blast. I surronded myself with people who knew and cared about me. Unfortunately I left my BF at home.
yes, and yes to all that has been said. you are just beginning the process of what my friend refers to as the big girls secret...lol
you girls are absolutely right...the changes I have been going through right now is weird...one day I want to be here with my marriage the next day I want to be single and be free...start a new life all over again...it’s not fair for my husband and my kids that I am feeling this way ( I didn’t tell him)...it’s confusing....
Oh poor you! It is horrid when you feel so confused. My advice, on the little I know about you, would be try not to do anything rash in re your relationship. Try and sit down with him and tell him honestly how you are feeling, making clear it is about your life development, not failings in him, and see where it takes you. He may have some similar feeings and you may find a new stage of your relationship developing!
If it helps, I have some stuff on my web site about difficult conversations but I suspect you will know what you need to do when you are ready to do it.
Best wishes,
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thanks Jane...i will try talking to him about how I feel...I am scared though...coz...my feeling is strong about getting my freedom. I tried to push my self to be happy and be thankful for what I have but deep inside me I am not happy...there is something missing and I don’t know what it is....*sigh*
Good luck sweetie. COmmunication is all in marriage. I have been married 33 years and would be lying if I said it has been easy all the time. Of course it has not. But when it works it is amazing and you owe it to yourself to really give making things a better a flipping good go.
Maybe sit down and write a letter to yourself first to help you clarify just what is it you are feeling?
Another technique I use when coaching is to suggest drawing what is the life you actually want . It is amazing what our sub conscious will come up with! If you do not fancy drawing (I use the word very loosely to mean do not use words) then maybe create a mood board for yourself using pictures from magazines etc.
This is hard but you will know that the things that come least easily often bring the most rewards. Hang in there!
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I will agree that wanting to make wild and crazy changes in your life at this time is entirely different than actually doing it. Especially if these ideas and emotions are still new to you.
As far as you relationship goes, it is normal for routine and boredom to set in after many years; perhaps even some ‘taking for granted’ of the other person. Why don’t you gather a group of girl friends, married or not, and go out on the town for a wild and crazy girl’s night. You may find that is enough to satisfy your thoughts of being single or needing some time away from your daily routine.
Be true to your self, but don’t rush into anything. The entire second half of your life lies ahead of you now. Plenty of time for everything!
Yes, it’s normal. Break out & be the full, wild, fab 40 woman that you are!
I’m there with you. I have become more physically active and more confident about myself in the last couple years and am wanting to “run away“. I want to talk to my guy about it and just tell what I think I need right now and somehow make him understand that this is about ME and not him and that I don’t want anyone else, I just need to explore me....I’ve been someones daughter, someones wife and mom and a girlfriend, but WHO is Tammy and what really makes her happy? I’m scared and excited all at the same time. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but most of all, I don’t my life to pass by knowing that I wasn’t true to myself.
YES, your feelings are normal, am learning that more everyday.
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