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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

What would you do if you known this person for a long time...say about over 20yrs., and you thought you were best friends...and you help her get away from her ex-hubby and store her stuff in your garage and also let her stay with you until she gets money to leave and she says she will pay you for letting her stay with you...and she dont...and your hubby says she can’t stay no more, and she gets mad at you for it....then keeps coming up with excuses about getting money.....

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wmos wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • If this person has been my friend for 20 plus years my focus would be on seeing her through this and forgive any repayment if it was just her staying with me for a while. I would expect my friend to respect my marriage and understand what position I have been place in, I would place more focus on helping her get settled in a place of her own and making sure our friendship last another 20 years im sure in 20 years there would be a lot of leaning on each other just in different ways.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • I would make sure she is will be safe from who/what she is seeking refuge from before I allow her to leave. Unfortunately, when a woman must suddenly leave or hide from a man, she does so without many financial resources. I would mention future repayment, but allow her to leave without doing so if she said she wasn’t able to do so at that time. I would continue to assess her ability to repay in the future, and if need be, forgive her the debt.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • I 2‘nd what Jenni has said. And wmos.

      It’s a tough thing to go through. I’ve been there. If she’s very serious about leaving the man, the situation is going to take time and the last thing she needs is added pressure. Is she looking for work? Is there more to this?
      I’ll check back in a minute




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Oceangirl40 wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • Sorry your friend is being this way and throwing 20 years away.  I don’t understand how she could be this way when you opened your home to HER not the boyfriend.  You helped her get out of a bad situation and in my opinion she took advantage of you.  I would do the same as you not expecting her to pay you back but she could do things to help you (such as clean, cook etc.)in hopes she is saving money to get on her own feet.  Sorry she took your 20 year friendship so lightly but when her relationship ends with this man she maybe crawling back to you.  I wish you well and sorry this happened when you were trying to do something good.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • My apologies...losing a friend after that many years is heartbreaking to hear but the way your friend behaved isn’t cool at all.  

      IMO - your friend took advantage of your kindness and love. It seems as though she “expected” you to take care of her without any regards to your husband! Then to add insult to bring her BF in the picture....you definitely were not obligated to take care of him!  

      It’s the principle of the thing. Your friend doesn’t have any reason to be upset. All you have done for her and she wants to act like an ungrateful brat?  She needs her priorties in order. She’s an adult - it’s time for her and her BF to act like one.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • OK...that changes the situation entirely. She is behaving recklessly and not as a friend. You are to be commended for the friendship you have extended to her. She has taken unfair advantage of your generosity, but you have maintained the high road. She will find out where burning bridges in her wake will get her in her future path in life.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • Honey sorry you have been through this.

      I think your friend took advantage of you and when you objected to the BF - she threw the toys out of the pram ..selfish  - bet when it’s over with the BF she will be back




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • It’s one thing to be in a not-so-fun situation when a woman leaves a man & must start over, find a place to stay and get it together. It’s a very uncomfortable thing to have to go through. It does NOT include meeting some guy right away OR assuming the new dude can stay at your house also. That tells me she isn’t taking her situation or your friendship and hospitality/generosity seriously. Cut your losses honey. You can’t help someone who doesn’t seriously wish to be helped.
      I’m sorry about you having to go through losing a friend of 20 years though.
      Hugs~




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Apr 24, 2009
    • And wtf? WHY doesn’t the new BF have a place anyway? Sounds like she jumped from the frying pan right into the fire.




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