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Benefits
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TICKED OFF MOM! My 11 year old daughter has been friends with a neighbor girl for 8 years. Recently, I wanted to invite my daughter’s girlfriend to our home for my daughter’s 11th birthday party. The mother of my daughter’s friend said her daughter was not permitted. The mother said that one month ago, when my daughter slept over her house, an IPOD turned up missing.
The end result is that on my daughter’s birthday, I was told that my neighbors suspected my daughter took their daughter’s IPOD. I discussed this with my daughter who insisted that she did NOT steal her friends IPOD.
So here it is my daughter’s 11th birthday and now she is in tears crying. My neighbor said that the IPOD was worth $150 and that they can’t afford to purchase a new one.
My neighbor insisted my daughter is a thief.
Unbelievably, my husband resolved this issue by literally giving my neighbors $150 that we truly can not afford to give away, but he felt that this was the only way to make peace.
So now I am a ticked off mother, my daughter feels betrayed by her friend and there is major tension with my neighbor and I. To make matters worse, my daughter’s so-called friend advertised on YOUTUBE with her mother that they used our $150 to purchase an American Girl Doll, instead of another IPOD.
What would you do?
Well, I would not have given them the money until they had proof that she stole it.
Have you seen it in her possession?
Most likely the ‘friend’ lost her ipod and didn’t want to get in trouble so she blamed your daughter! 
I f it was a birthday party, and God only knows how many people were in and out of that house..It takes a lot of nerves to make an accusation like that..Like mz tracy said I wouldn’t have given the parents any money what soever until they have proof...
NO wonder you are Pissed !! I would be too. But I agree, I would not have given them any money. I dont think I would ever have anything to do with those people again...
I’m with everybody else..I would have NOT given them the money.. Where’s the proof? And to make things worst, they brag that they bought something else with the money. Thats NO FRIEND..
Sorry that your daughter is having to go thru something like this.. Hope things get better for her.
GM
If she thought your daughter did it, why did she not ask you right after it happened? Your poor daughter. How devastating, esp at 11, what a vulnerable time.
What’s done is done, but IMHO your hubby should have asked for more info before handing over that money. THEY were rude, crass and low-class to make a video talking about their alternate purchase. obviously they weren’t TOO upset about the missing IPOD.
Are we able to make comments on Youtube? I rarely go there, but I’d sure go there now and tell them they are low-class.
It’s unfortunate that your daughter’s friend has such a pain in the ass mother. Everything about this situation stinks - for you, for your daughter, for the other child...
Personally, there’s two steps I’d take. First, (and only because this family is also your neighbor and you‘re just STUCK with that) I’d have a sitdown with the other mom. I’d explain that the fact that she convicted your child was extremely hurtful - and pose the question of how she would’ve felt if roles had been reversed. I’d also state that the kids come first - and since they obviously enjoy each other, you’d like to find a way to allow that to continue IF..... (then you lay down the law and expectations of how she’ll handle future situations that involve your child - meaning coming directly to you).
Secondly, I’d have a talk with my child - about that family and how what they did was completely unfair, and that it may come to the point when the girls can’t be friends anymore - except when they‘re outside playing.
If the first step didn’t work - I’d cut all ties with the family, and tell your child she’s not to go in the other child’s house - ever. If you can’t trust that the other mom will be fair and friendly to your child, then your child can’t be put in that position again.
I hope - for the girl’s sake - that this can be resolved, and their friendship can continue.
I’m so sorry you’ve been through this ..... what vile people - no proof and just accusations ....
So many of you brought up excellent points:
1) WHY DIDN‘T THE MOTHER CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY WHEN THE IPOD WAS MISSING?
2) WHY DID SHE WAIT ONE WHOLE MONTH BEFORE TELLING ME ABOUT THE INCIDENT AND WHY DID SHE TELL ME THIS INFORMATION ON MY DAUGHTER‘S 11TH BIRTHDAY? (She lost all credibility by waiting so long and then ruining my daughter’s birthday with this accusation.)
3) WHY DID THE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER TURN AROUND AND USE OUR $150 TO PURCHASE A DOLL WHEN SHE COMPLAINED THAT SHE COULD NEVER AFFORD ANOTHER IPOD? (The doll cost less money so what happened to the rest of it? Or did they find the IPOD and keep our money?)
4) WHY ON EARTH WOULD SOMEONE HAVE THE NERVE TO ADVERTISE THAT THEY SPENT SOMEONE ELSE‘S MONEY ON A DOLL, RATHER THAN ON THE IPOD, ON YOUTUBE? (No guilt or shame?)
The most hurtful thing that both the mother and her daughter did to my daughter Ryanna is to turn around and tell the whole class room in school that my daughter stole the IPOD. Kids were harassing my daughter and even the teacher had an attitude problem. My daughter was in tears and refused to go to school. No wonder...... If I were her, I wouldn’t want to go to school, either! This really sucks!
I agree, the girl probably lost it or loaned it out to someone and is afraid to tell her Mom the truth. It’s probably just easier to blame your daughter. Although it is no comfort to your daughter right now, I am sure she is hurting, I wouldnt want my daughter to be friends with that girl anyway. Nor would I want her to be over a neighbors house who would accuse her of such a thing. I can’t believe she would wait till now to say something instead of coming to you right away with it. I would not have given them the money either, it’s almost like your husband is saying he believes them. I am sure he doesnt, and he did it to keep the peace, but I can only imagine what they are thinking. Urgh!!
Between you and me, if my hubby would have shared with me ahead of time that his intention was to give our neighbors $150 I would have DISAGREED. If this was reversed, you can be sure that our neighbors would NOT have given us the $150!
Termite, my mom said the exact same thing that you said about my husband appearing as if he believed his daughter did steal the IPOD by handing over the $150 to our neighbors!
Oh, how I wish this was a do over because I would have handled it much differently than my husband!
I truly would not have given them anything. It sounds to me they used the story to get the funds from you just to get the doll it may have been an item she was eyeing all along and just didn’t have the funds to buy it until your hubby gave up the funds to do so. I truly believe the IPod is going to resurface and if it does I’d request a refund.
"As you open the door to new relationships and remove the chain from your own fears, God will overwhelm you with new splendor."
Bernadette68, you brought up a good point about SAVING the YOUTUBE of the confession that they bought the American Girl Doll, instead of the IPOD. It was a situation in which the mother was definitely unaware that the father was literally video taping the entire time she said, “Don’t tell Ryanna that we used her $150 to buy the American Girl Doll instead of the IPOD. Her daughter looked shocked! Suddenly, her daughter said, “Mother! This is going on YOUTUBE!” Her mother said, “Just erase it!”
Well, somebody was not using common sense because they did NOT erase it. My older daughter discovered the YOUTUBE video and said that she had proof that our neighbors probably never lost the IPOD. My daughter had me watch the YOUTUBE video and I was blown away by the stupidity of this family!!!
I copied the video and I have it for future purposes. You never know these days so it is better to be safe than sorry!
My husband and I had a further discussion this evening about the situation and he now regrets giving our neighbors the money, especially since they spent it on a doll! (Hindsight is just a little too late!)
The motto that I live by is LIVE AND LEARN so I guess I am trying to practice that with this sticky situation.
i am so sorry for your daughter.
What a terrible lil girl to go and tell her class these lies when they have no proof!
I would wash my hands of them completely. These are not the kind of people I would want in my life!!
I am so sorry this had to happen.
I agree with everyone posting here. Should have never given them the money. The mother should have contacted you immediately after it went missing and keeping the YouTube video is a must. Maybe you should alert other parents to their behavior. In the long run...the only person that is going to be hurt is this so call friend..and her mother is doing a great job of bringing it on. Maybe they should know you are letting others know of their scheme..and especially the tackiness of putting it on YouTube. That mother really has no “social” skills. What jerks!
Yes MZ, I would love to see it too! I can’t believe the nerve of some people!!
We had a similar situation happen back when our son was about six years old...A neighbor boy, who we did not know very well introduced himself to us, would play outside with our son. One day he brought over a fake sword and my son got out his toys and so forth...they played very well together until one day the boy and his mother came to our home and accused our son of breaking his sword and throwing in the street...such lunacy...our son was always very respectful of other kid’s toys...they demanded money for this and I told them unless I physically witnessed the incident, then they were to receive no funds from us..as it turned out this kid was a chronic liar and tried this scam with other kids...SIX YEARS OLD...you wonder what people teach their children...set them up for a life of crime!!
What nerve! Kids lose things all the time. Why would they not assume their daughter had lost the Ipod instead of agreeing with her that your daughter stole it...especially with no proof? It’s unfortunate that your husband gave them the money...not sure what more you can do about it now. My son had a friend stay over and one of my son’s video games went missing and we did ask the friend if he mistakenly took it home but when he sad no that was the end of it. You can’t accuse someone of stealing something if you don’t have proof. I’m sorry you are going through this. I really can’t believe they had the nerve to purchase an American Girl Doll instead of another Ipod. Hopefully they will have a conscience and return the money to you...with an apology!
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