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Here is the situation:  My girlfriend who was my best friend in high school lost touch with me after I moved out of state for four years.  We both ended up going in different directions in our lives and eventually quit writing.  After being out of touch for 18 years, we just found each other on Facebook.  As it turns out, my girlfriend is marrying her high school sweetheart this month.  She invited me and my husband to the wedding.  I would love to go and I would love to see her!  The problem is that her wedding date is on the same day as my oldest daughter’s 14th birthday.  I am torn between wanting to go to the wedding, but not wanting to disappoint my daughter on her birthday.  No matter what, I feel bad whether I do or don’t go to the wedding.  I think my daughter would be hurt if I do not plan something extra special for her birthday and if I do not spend the entire day with her.  Ultimately, my daughter comes first and I will plan something fun for her birthday.

What would you do?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • Talk with your daughter about the wedding event and explain to her how you’d like to go. Ask her what is it that she’d like to do for her birthday, maybe you can still make the wedding and plan something later with your daughter, I hope all works out for you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • Is it possible to take your daughter as your date and celebrate her b-day with a dress and all the fixins?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • I would talk to my daughter and tell her exactly what is happening. Ask her if maybe she would not mind celebrating 1 week before or after her birthday.

      Then on her bday, either before or after have a lil special time with her.

      You all win this way.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • In our family we have shuffled special ocassions many times due to the nature of my husband's business, so this would not be a big deal to rearrange with our daughter. But, ours would have expected something EXTRA special to make up for the situation. probably planning something before her birthday, then making sure something special happens on  her birthday might afford you this opportunity. Okay, now I see that Tracy has suggested the exact same thing. Well, you know what they say about great minds!!!! ;o)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Termite wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • That is exactly what I was going to suggest Tracy and Coachmom. If you could plan something really awesome for her before the actual date, then possibly send her flowers and go out to lunch on the actual birthday, she probably wouldn’t feel like you were ignoring her special day at all. Especially if she could have a sleep over with her BFF while you went to the wedding, would be more fun yet! Pizza and a movie at home?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • Can your daughter come to the wedding?  If you explain the situation and give her gifts on her actual birthday, but have the party a day before or after, would she be okay with that?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Arcuri wrote Jun 1, 2009
    • I love all of your idea’s!  The BFF sleepover is probably the one idea that my daughter would agree to on her actual birthday.  This way, she may not be with me all day or night on her birthday, but she would be spending her special day with her best friend!  

      Perhaps, I will ask my daughter about celebrating her birthday the day before or the week before.  We could do whatever she wants and have some fun!  

      Thanks everyone!  What fabulous idea’s you all have!!!




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