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Q & A

From Women’ Health....

Do you think a lap dance is considered cheating?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • If my husband was allowing that, yes, I would consider that being unfaithful. There are more ways to cheat than having intercourse with someone else. IMHO. Now if the wife of said husband doesn’t care, that might be a different story.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • I would agree....however I think my hubby would consider it cheating on my part no matter what we agreed to....

      And honestly if I did tell Dave a lap dance was ok I would prolly hold it against him at some later point.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Yes, I feel that is wrong, I would not stand for it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • I wouldn’t say cheating, but disrespectful and hurtful for sure.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Whitten wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • I don’t consider it cheating but I do consider it WRONG!!  If some bimbo were to rub herself up against my husband, that Bimbo would be missing some hair. LOL
      He would be sleeping in the dog house.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Yes, because if a man is doing that then they are on one hell of a rocky road to trouble ..

      My friend’s brother in law did this and soon he was having an affair with the dancer - if a man is looking at another woman in that way they are mentally unfaithful - they have left the marriage - sorry this is my view




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • I say Yes It’s cheating. There shouldn’t be any other woman doing those naughty things on my hubby’s lap except me. Those women are dry humping them, to me thats the same as having sex, It’s WRONG!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • I don’t consider it cheating at all...if the woman doesn’t like it then maybe she shouldn’t be letting her husband/bf go to a place where this can happen.
      I personally have had a lap dance done to me...I was a bit embarrassed as the guy picked me out of a crowd and started dancing on me...but...no harm was done...it was done in fun and he was just doing his job...Now if I opposed it I shouldn’t have been there at all...just my opinion...happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Susan Dahringer wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Of course it is..Some take it one step too far..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Lawrence wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • i say yes....if the man wants a lap dance, why can’t he get it from his wife or girlfriend




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • It all depends on the reason for the lap dance.  If he’s out with the guys and someone else sends him the dancer, what is he supposed to do about it?  If he’s regularly going to strip clubs and buying lap dances, then there are big problems!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • don’t agree with it...my hubby got that stuff out of his system way before he met me..now I shake it for him..lol..estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jjulie wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Cheating.... no.
      Acceptable.... no, not really.... although....

      If you and your girlfriends spent a girls weekend in Vegas and went to an all dude show like Chippendales, and one of the guys gave YOU a lapdance, would that be cheating? ... or wrong?

      Prior to a girls weekend in Vegas, I asked around - including my husband - and nobody had an issue with it.  I find that double standard fascinating, and I admit to it being a double standard in my home as well.  My husband even agrees that that’s just the way it is.

      So... is it just that many think men are more likely to ACT on their impulses... or what?  Any thoughts - I’m genuinely curious.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Well for one I think a man getting a lap dance from a woman Is differant then a woman getting a lap dance from a man, I’m not saying that It’s right, but It Is differant. A woman giving a man a lap dance, she Is sitting on his private part ( will call him DICK )..lol and It’s easy for a man to get aroused, hard and wet. For a woman to get a lap dance from a man, really? whats that going to really do for us? It’s not like hes getting us hard, he doesn’t grab our boobs, hes just basically sitting on our laps moving his ass around and making my legs go numb..lol

      But either way, I wouldn’t get a lap dance from any man. That kind of thing just doesn’t do it for me.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jjulie wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Seriously?  Nothing about a hot naked dude in your personal bubble is arousing?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • WOW! I asked a question that had the famous anonymous come out....
      Yeah put that way....having a guy rub his hot sweaty ass all over me just doesn’t do it...eeeewwwww.....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • usually strippers are not totally naked, they are wearing speedos of some kind which to me, speedos on any man hot looking or not doesn’t turn me on, so No my bubble doesn’t get aroused.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladyrowley wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Hi all. I honestly do not think its cheating. Its all about trust. If  you cannot trust your man when he goes out with his friends you need to rethink your relationship. Why also is it cheating if he gets a lap dance, but not if you do? Hypocritical, and yes its the same thing if you go to the club knowing full well what goes on. I know this will upset some of you. My girlfriends and I trust our men completely. They know this, We do not have time with work, kids, hobbies, businesses  and school to dwell on what he is doing all the time and vice versa. What our husbands do know is that we love them, respect them and treat them well at home as they do us, and we know that as well. Remember no-body is perfect or flawless. I am not trying to stir up trouble, and I am sorry this is long.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Well the ones I have seen wear more like a g string and over in Canada they get outright nekked.....

      Julie I equate hot naked men to chocolate.... it does me no good if I can’t nibble on it...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      L J wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • i am going to agree with some of the comments on here, and say...no it’s not cheating..... but it could lead to cheating in the end....most men think it’s OK for them to get lap dances or go to nudie bars, but if the women do it then in a man’s eyes they cant’t take it and it’s wrong..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jjulie wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • “Julie I equate hot naked men to chocolate.... it does me no good if I can't nibble on it...” - OMG... that’s hilarious!!

      In my younger years I went to a strip club in Vancouver, Canada and was shocked that they strip naked - it’s actually MUCH less sexy when they‘re flopping around all over the place!! :)

      I guess my imagination is too much for me, cuz I don’t need to nibble to WANT to. :)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 5, 2009
    • Julie you are too funny!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Jun 6, 2009
    • I agree with Ladyrow...it does have to do with trust...in your partner and your relationship...
      I also believe that it isn’t cheating but like someone said CAN lead to it...the key word here is CAN...as not everyone cheats on his/her partner.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote Jun 6, 2009
    • IMHO, Yes, it’s cheating. I believe that it’s a form of infidelity. Just the same as sleeping with someone.

      If you get a lap dance, it’s going to make your mind go where it shouldn’t go with that person; only your significant other.  

      I think that if you think it, you may as well do it. Same principal as thinking about cheating on your mate. I you think about cheating, you may as well cheat, because the damage is already done. You have already been unfaithful

      I must say, I would not want a lap dance from anyone but my hubby and I would be livid if he would accept one from anyone but me!!

      Just my opinion.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carolnphil wrote Jun 6, 2009
    • Yes, I do.  It’s everything other than putting it in the hole.  I think anything which takes your attention away from your spouse, physically and/or emotionally, is cheating.  Those two things are for your spouse only.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kenya wrote Jun 8, 2009
    • Yes it is cheating. I would never initiate that or he better never ask. I don’t want my husbands manhood to rise for any occasion except for me.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl wrote Jun 8, 2009
    • No, I don’t consider it cheating, but then again, my husband wouldn’t be in a bar either...  if a husband is going out in strip clubs, he is out looking for something that he’s not getting at home.  Whether it is physical or emotional.  IMHO...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisaregenia wrote Jun 11, 2009
    • Yes & No - it depends on the situation.  DH has gone out with the guys to clubs & parties - I don’t consider it cheating.  If he was a regular at a club then yes he would be cheating.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      L J wrote Jun 11, 2009
    • m hubby doesn’t go to strip clubs... which is a good thing ..
      but i believe it is cheating to a degree even in the mind!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Zen wrote Jun 11, 2009
    • Wow! I’m almost afraid to give my opinion because I’m still a Noobie here. But here it goes...
      No, I dont consider it “cheating“. If the man is going out of his way to do this and lying about it...then that would be a “communication” issue. Personally, I have had lapdances from men and women..all in fun. We are “normal” people who go to work everyday, keep up on household chores, etc. If a man or woman is constantly going out and paying for lapdances, then maybe there is a problem in the bedroom at home. People need to feel sexy, and that includes men. Honey, do this, take the garbage out, this needs fixing, etc...Sometimes they need more. Men are visual creatures and a woman’s body is truly beautiful. Personally, I would buy my husband a lapdance ;).  Dont knock it till you try it.  Ok let’s see how many enemies I’ve made. estatic




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Jun 12, 2009
    • ahhh no worries here Zen...Back in the day my husband and I would go to the club and we each got lap dances from the women....they actually paid more attention to me than they did him....
      We have to remember these people are getting PAID to do these things..this is their job, so even if our men are aroused, the ladies are not because this is nothing more than a “job” to them.
      And I believe that it is all about trust and communication.
      My husband works out of town quite often and once in a blue moon he’ll go to a strip club, with some of the guys. But he does not make it a regular habit.
      His problem is magazine and internet porn...lol




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Zen wrote Jun 13, 2009
    • kudos!  some people just need to lighten up a bit.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 14, 2009
    • This has been an interesting conversation everyone..... Remember it was a question asked on Women’s Health Mag web site. I thought it was a good question and definitely worthy of having a conversation about.

      Thx!




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