Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

+2
Love it

Q & A

How can you motivate a seventeen year old boy to do better in school/life? He is one of those kids who just do enough to get by, as in grades, sports, chores, everything. Im afraid he wont go on to college or be able to do well in life due to his “just getting by“. He doesn’t get into any trouble by the way, which is great, but I still want more for him.

  •  
+2
Love it



Answer this See more Questions

View All Answers

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Terri Quinn wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • Have you had a heart to heart talk with him?

      Ask him question’s.Ask why he feels the way he does. Let him know just how concerned you are.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • I’m with terri, sit down and have a talk with him. It may not work the 1st time but I would keep on it.. Eventually he will start to open it.. let him know that no matter what you will be there for him..  

      Take Care...




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • Find out what makes him tick and what are his goals and work towards them ....then you can raise the bar




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • Speak your heart, then be silent, bend your knees and start praying.  Seriously.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell Villafañe wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • Dianne I am experiencing the same thing with my 17 year old son so I have the same questions. Unfortunately I can’t offer any suggestions since I am going through the same thing. We are constantly talking about his “just get by attitude” all the time. Passing here is 65 so if he has a 65 or 66 he think’s its all good.

      I will have to check out the book missprofe suggested.




            Report  Reply


    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Nyterisa wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • I had the same trouble with my son.  He hated high school. So I took him out he got his GED.  Worked at a job in a pet shop.  Then he decided to go to college.  He just graduated with his teaching degree this year.  He got his BA.

      So sometimes it is just the whole high school thing.

      Talk to him and ask him about school.  I am sure he will find his way.

      Mine did.  Best of luck to you both.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • I’m in the same place with my nearly 17 yr. old daughter.  She will be a junior this fall, not motivated at all.  She slides by on mediocre grades, though she’s capable of straight A’s.  She won’t get involved in anything. She’s quit band and chorus and has never gone out for sports of any kind.  Don’t know how to get thru to her that life takes a little bit of Effort!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • Seems alot of us have similar problems, at least we are not alone.... Thanks for the advice.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laurie Zieber wrote Jun 17, 2009
    • If I had it to do over again... I would have focused WAY more on achievement than I did.  My boys coasted through with little or no effort and did well in school.  As a result they are both in the habit of achieving less than their potential. And I see that same lack of passion in so many their age (20 somethings) Makes me sad.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Jun 17, 2009
    • I excelled in school and try to do the same in life.  My children (adults now) chose to not go to college.  They flat out told me I would be wasting my money.  And I believed them.  

      The old saying...“you can bring a horse to water but you cant make them drink“.  

      xoxo




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      40real wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I just shared this information with another fabulous mom and I think it may apply in your situation as well.

      I just learned that the frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until the early 20's.  

      One study said: "The evidence now is strong that the brain does not cease to mature until the early 20s in those relevant parts that govern impulsivity, judgment, planning for the future, foresight of consequences, and other characteristics that make people morally culpable.... Indeed, age 21 or 22 would be closer to the 'biological' age of maturity."  

      Maybe we have unfair expectations of these kids, asking them to reason about their entire futures in a way their brain is not yet fully developed to reason. I thought this was fascinating.

      Give yourself and your son a break and remember the big picture - that you love him and want him to be a happy, independent and whole adult who lives a life that is true to who he is at the core. Based on the whole idea of the not yet developed frontal love, it sounds like - at least scientifically - the odds are he will come around in a few years and will begin to have a natural motivation to do more than “just get by.”

      I hope this new perspective sheds some light that you will find helpful!

      Shannon
      The SPARK! Coach
      www.thesparkcoach.com




            Report  Reply


Ask a Question






mature content submit as anonymous