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My husband’s family called a week ago to say they were coming to visit us for the 4th of July. I ran around trying to get things ready in a hurry. My kids got all excited.
The first of the week, they called to say that they MAY not be coming.
So, we just kind of waited to hear from them but didn’t. My husband called tonight and they said they were not coming. They were suppose to arrive tonight!
I have half way made alternate plans for us, but I am a little, no more than a little pissed.
How and what can I say to let them know that this is not proper etiquette.
My husband say’s, don’t say anything, but that’s kind of not in my genetic make up.
Any advise?
Lisa ? you have to say something as it's rude and also they must have know if they were coming to stay for what is a big weekend in your country you would be rolling out the "red carpet" so to speak with additional food, cleaning and just general getting life ready for extra people staying over ? what excuse did they give for them not coming ?
Vicki
Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you‘re the man who made them.—Frank Tyger
There was really no excuse except that they changed their minds because it’s such a long road trip. Yeah, and they new that when they made plans.
I have traveled there 5 times this year to take care of his sick family members.
So, really the excuse was kind of lame to me and I could care less if they ever decide to visit again.
*Lcm*
I’d be tempted next time they say they are coming to say that you would “love” to see them but you are “busy“. Also I’ve known a number of impolite people who say they “Might not” do something when they darn well know that they mean “No!” Sorry that they put you through this!
Bottom line, it is rude. Your kids got all excited and now the let down. Ask your hubby what he thinks that say’s to the kid’s? It’s ok? I would talk to the kids and ask their advice what do you think should be done? Should we say something? And maybe hubby hearing how it affected the kids will help him to see it is a big deal. Now if something came up and it could not be helped everyone could understand. Last minute is inconsiderate of them to tell you because you could have made plans of your own, it’s kinda late now.But having said all that don’t let them have so much control. Have a great weekend and enjoy the fireworks w/the kiddies.Be safe.
Time for the guilt train to roll into the station. I would really let them know that they have really disappointed the kids and you. That you were looking forward to spending time with them.
Is this something they do regularly, or was this unusual for them? Although I agree it’s rather rude, I would be hesitant to go to battle over it. Do they expect you to go to a lot of trouble for their visit? If not, they may not understand why you’d be upset, and then they would blame you for being rude. Even if you do decide to say something, be careful how you say it or this will be a sore subject forever. Just my 2 cents worth....
I have some experience with this, too. My family is like this, and it drives me nuts! I even have a relative who will just show up on my doorstep from out of state, giving me no notice whatsoever that he’s coming to visit. Grrrr!!!
Oh Hell to the NO!!! lol I got neicy going tonight!!
Just tell them!! My MIL does this kind of crap all the time. I learned to NEVER tell my kids she is coming!! Hubs said it is the best way to go.
Tell them, in the future when you know you are not going to come... it is only POLITE to let us know, in advance , so we can make any changes we need to!!!
I mean really...
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Well since you already asked your husband
And he doesnt want you to start anything. You really shouldnt start anything.
But if they call you... then you can go girl.
and just believe that they accept you the way that you already are -so just be you. and say it the way you wanna say it!
My little voice,
Marilyn
BTW- dont ask the hubby for his advice. lol
My little voice,
Marilyn
Hey Lisa
I prolly would take the nice approach and say “geez we were so looking forwards to you being here and I did tons of shopping and now what am I gonna do with all this food (chuckle) I bought so we could have some fun times?!? (chuckle) oh well I understand you were just unable to make it”
Believe me Lisa when I say I am no sap (actually been accused of being too hard) but I have found that people usually will do the right thing when you pleasantly point it out in a low key funny light way.
I am sorry tho all your work was for naught!
we have friends who have done this;now when they say they‘re going to be here,we make our usual plans and if they actually do show up,we either go out to eat or we go food shopping together. They just don’t seem to have social manners,just what fits their own agenda.
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