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Q & A

Why do ex spouses show so much resentment toward the person they once loved, honored and cherished?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I'll take a stab at this.happy  I beleive it's because they realize they screwed up and didn't want the divorce.  My ex was a huge tool when I had to deal with him.  (Still is).  Anyways, also one of those "if I can't have you" things.  That's been my experience.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I think alot of times they are hurt and dont want that to show.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I hat when you answer a question and it mispells throughout!  Ugh!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • Mistic, like I said..........“they screwed up“.  My ex ran around and did what he wanted and when I filed he promised me a new house, the world, etc.  I believe even if they filed or cheated that they do realize they f’d up.  Even though they won’t admit it.  And they sure aren’t going to admit it when the other one moves on and finds new love.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I agree with Angel in that they feel like they screwed up. They probably resent what they did but don’t want to show it because that could come across as a weak and men don’t like to show weakness or vulnerability. So the next best thing is to act like children and treat us like crap.

      Although I am not having that propblem with my ex. He is begging to come back and truly getting on my last nerve. He’s so pathetic.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I didn’t want to answer on this one at first but now I feel I should say something. Like the others I’ve been through all mentioned above.
      Married 12 years & he was not a good husband or father. But he thought the sun rose and set on his command. I’ve been through all of it with him, even after I remarried and he’d been remarried 29 days after our divorce was final (though he denied her to the end, just before he married her).
      Now he is on wife #5, and occasinally drinks & calls me to tell me how he messed things up & wants me to forgive him, and us to get back together so the boys would have their parents together again.
      My husband, the boys’ step-father, is the one who raised our sons, mine & my husband, and my ex was so unreliable.
      The 1st week of June he was in an accident on his motorcycle, should have been killed- doing 70 mph @ nite and hit a deer. Broke leg, collar bone, broken ribs, collapsed lung & head injury. My youngest son took his brother down to see their father in ICU and it was hard on him but not our oldest. He’s the one who knows that his step-father has always been there for him/them but the youngest has feelings of guilt if he shows any emotion for his step-father.
      Some days I don’t know what to say to my son, I’ve never been the one to bad mouth the ex in front of the boys.
      Most of what he’s been through he brought on himself.
      He is bi-polar but refuses to take med.s, says there’s nothing wrong with him!
      That’s all I guess, I don’t have any feelings about him at all, my feelings are about my sons!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • Owlmaria, I’m impressed.  My ex-husband is cheap and unreliable.  I detest him and my daughter does too.  I wish I could have kept my negative opinions more to myself, but I console myself with the thought that she knows what kind of men o avoid.

      People harbor resentment toward their exes when they’ve been treated like dirt, i think, not because they want them back!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kandykahne 5 wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I guess I am lucky that my ex and I are very good friends still. We were friends before we got married and when we divorced we made a pact that who ever we married would have to accept that fact. His wife and my husband did. We‘re all good friends! We’ve even gone on vacation together when the kids were little! He lives 1 minute away from us as well. Some people think it is strange but hey that’s their problem!happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • Diana, your situation is rare but I think it is best for the children that the two of you could work things out the way you did. Best Wishes that things stay the as you have had them. Good for you!
      Too bad the rest of us had to live with lying, cheating jerks!
      I could take anything but when it came to our children, then I truly become the lioness capable of hurting anyone who hurts my children!
      My dad used to have a saying..” give a person enough rope & they’ll hang themself!”
      All my “friends” couldn’t understand how I could be so cool when my ex acted bad & I did nothing in return. My ex turned his back on our oldest son b/c he wasn’t the perfect son to carry on his name & it was, of course, my fault for having given birth to a Down Syndrome.
      I didn’t make that child by myself & I didn’t carry him for 9 months just to have him put in a home b/c my ex was imbaressed by him.
      I love both my sons equally! And I know I’ve been blessed with the most wonderful husband who took on the job of step-father, husband (w/ a ready made family) @ age 26!
      I was 33!estatic
      P.S. My ex thought he was beening cute by marrying a younger woman but I didn’t plan on beating by marrying a man 10 years younger than my ex!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kandykahne 5 wrote Jul 7, 2009
    • I should clarify the vacation and kids part. My ex and I didn’t have kids. We went on vacation with my ex, his wife and their kids and my husband and our kids. happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jul 8, 2009
    • I am the one who wanted a divorce from my first husband, we had one daughter who was 3 when I left. I left because though he was a great guy, he couldnt/wouldnt quit drinking and smoking pot. I did not want to raise our daughter in that situation. He was mad as hell at first, cause he did want me back,but I had given him plenty of chances. We were very young also. Anyway, he passed away a couple years ago, at age 44, due to his heart I think, he would not go to a doctor even though he was having blackouts and stuff. I grieved so hard, still do. My daughter misses him so much, its very sad.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sezin wrote Dec 13, 2009
    • I have thought of this question too, i came to my own conclusion that they just go off  of you and that is the easiest way to let you know  that there just not that into you nomore...




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