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Q & A

If I like a man with physical attributes so much that it blocks the opportunity to know a man’s heart if he’s overweight, am I superficial?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • He finds me attractive and I have an attraction to his mind and his heart just not so much to his “bigness“. And apparently his size doesn’t matter to my heart only to my eyes, but I’m describing the me that I know to be.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • I wouldn’t say you are superficial, we all have our preferences and sometimes those can get in the way. I love the look of a toned, ripped, muscular body, but I prefer “bigness” I find comfort in the big teddy bear type.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • Yes, we all have our visual preferences.  I love my husband for his mind and his heart but it was his looks that hooked me first.  Now that he’s quite large, part of me looks at that weight and cringes.

      Of course I’m sure he coud say the same about me.

      I don’t think your superficial 47, just honest.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janet Wooley wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • If your preference is one way, it would be hard for you to get past that. My brother is a BIG guy, he is a sweetheart and he says, women don’t know what they are missing out on, of course he is joking. But alot of people have preconceived ideas of overweight people, they are lazy, they overeat, weak willpower. And so many have this, they can’t get past it and do not give the overweight person an oppurtunity to even get to know them.How would you feel if it were reversed and you were the overweight person? Have you ever watched those TV shows where they take a small person and make them large and follow them around w/a camera. The one show I recall is the Bachlorette where they dressed her as a LG woman and she interviewed the bachlors and they were on hidden camera, she was so upset with the guys who were saying things about her when she was out of sight she got rid of them. If you can’t get past this you are being honest.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • Wow, that’s a tricky question.  I know what your sayin tho, cause we usually are attracted to the physical first, then the emotional.  With heavy guys you gotta get the emotional down first, then the physical.  When you get to know them as friends first, lettin the attraction for them grow, the physical will just come naturally.  But I have to say personally for me, if you don’t got it goin’ on physically I’m not gettin any further than friends. I have gone out with skinny guys, fat guys and toned guys and the toned up guys always win it hands down. Cause if the sex appeal isn’t there, it’s not happening.  But the fat guys are always  fun to hang out with, joke around, etc.  I can’t get busy with a heavy dude, even tho I’m heavy, I guess I’m superficial..  I don’t know, I gotta have that physical attraction first..Some girls don’t care as they look at the inside and then the physical doesn’t matter, but unfortunately I’m not one of them..sorry.  Good luck!happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • I’m loving the feedback from my friends here at Fab40 and one thing present in all the answers is honesty. Some express exactly what I’m dealing with. The idea of sexual anything with Mr.Bigness is my current hang up, but as far as everything else is concerned there is chemistry. Maybe I should just let my inhibitions go.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • Let your heart guide you..estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janet Wooley wrote Jul 11, 2009
    • Like my lil bro says, you’ll never know what your missin.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marilyn09 wrote Jul 12, 2009
    • If you have chemistry. I dont see the problem.
      You want him. go get him




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Jul 12, 2009
    • I think it is more important to judge a person by his character more than by his looks. A guy could be attractive, have a great body but have a nasty disposition and be very disrespectful. The overweight man could have the best personality, be very respectful of women, etc. You don’t want to miss out on a good opportunity to be with a great guy just because he doesn’t look like the normal type of guys you are used to dating. I have a friend who had those same hangups when she met her now fiance and found that he is a wonderful and loving man. Now if he is just so hard to look at then you should probably keep it moving but if you can actually look at him and carry on a decent conversation without getting skeeved out then try getting to know him and see what develops. Good luck 47!! happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jul 12, 2009
    • Once again my girlfriends have given more valuable view points. Just like some little children I don’t want to miss out on anything, so if I’m not skeeved out I’m going to go get himhappy.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janet Wooley wrote Jul 12, 2009
    • Like the old saying goes “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” I have a girlfriend who is tall slim a knock out drop dead georgeous. Only dated like guys, she said they were all horrible, self centered, unfaithful. She married a man whom I would have never thought she would have given the time of day to. I asked here what give Missy? She said her granny gave her advice that she took to heart “you’ll never find a good man that thinks higher of himself than he does of you.” They are the most happy couple it’s cute. Good advice granny.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Jul 13, 2009
    • Please don’t get mad that I posted anon.  The reason is in case my husband saw my answer I’d really be upset.  Ok, I too am attracted to the physical first.  However, I did date a guy who is a big guy (and I don’t mean real fat, they call him “Da Big Guy“.  He’s bad but has a bad ass go-tee, the most wonderful sense of humor of anyone I’ve met, the absolute best dancer, good in bed, I could go on and on.   What ended it for me was he was in his last 40’s and didn’t own a home.  (Now I know that’s superficial but hey, I figured if I owned he should too).  Anyways, we have remained dear friends and still meet for lunch.  He always fills me in on his girlfriend drama and call’s me for advice.  Now, why would my hubz be upset?  When we were dating I told him I had never slept with this man.  (Personally I don’t think he had a right to ask that question so I lied).    We dated 15 years ago and live about 20 minutes away from each other.   My husband doesn’t care if we have lunch anytime.  Because he say’s “he know’s he’s not my type!“.  I prefer tall lean men like my husband.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jul 13, 2009
    • He’s not bad I meant to type “bald“.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jul 13, 2009
    • Oh well, if he snoops through now it’s been blown.  Ha Ha




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ivegon1 wrote Aug 5, 2010
    • Wow, this is something. I’m in the same situation. I’m dating this man , he has almost everything I want in a man, but when we went to the pool and saw his belly and butts out I couldn’t take out off my mind and i feel funny, I didn’t like the way I feel. After that he try to hug me inside the pool and I tried to push him await, but i think he has getting the feeling. I want to try to make this work, i need help with this because I’m tired being those good looking men, they know that they look good and that is the reason why they play around.....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ivegon1 wrote Aug 11, 2010
    • thank you for your words, i had being very hard on myself all my life.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 11, 2010
    • OMG, I’ve just convinced myself to get over a crush on a man that has some fat on him but is a total sweetheart, and that is what I cared about and was drawn to. The reason for my needing to convince myself to get over him is ... he’s not quite over his X girlfriend.  sigh...
      (Good slow dancer even with a injured ankle. dang! Loves music, plays music, loves living in the woods, loves animals. )  mmmmm.....  And he’s a hugger, too.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Aug 11, 2010
    • My hub takes good care of himself, but wants to be more lean and I miss the strong, very muscular athletic body he once had.happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Aug 12, 2010
    • Girl to each their own lol, if you can get pass the bigness do so you said you‘re attracted to this man and he seems to be into you go for it and stop hitting yourself in ther head, I for one love a big man lol, my hubby is not big enough but he’s big and I love every ounce of him lol, enjoy your man my friend.




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