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Q & A

Do you think an 18 year old boy (man) who is in college, has a job and living at home still needs a curfew?  I say no, Dad says yes.  We have a deal that after 1am he texts me so I know he is ok, that way it does not wake me but if I get up and see he is mot there I don’t worry. What do you think?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • I can understand both sides. Dad wants son to be home at a decent hour , while he lives in your home. But you feel son is old enough to live his own life.  Sorry, Im torn. I have a son who is 17 . I think as long as he lives with us, we have a right to tell him he cant be out all hours of the night. We would worry and not be able to sleep wondering if he was ok.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • I say no as long as he is considerate and quiet when returning home.  

      Now if he had no job and was not going to school and acting like the adult he is, then i’d say no.

      So, i’m with you mom.

      And the text is a good thing!estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • i agree with you melissa.. its not like hes loafing, and being irresponsible...
      like Tracy said, having him text is a good thing too!
      estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • I agree with you. As long as he texts that he is running it’s okay. Explain to your hubby that at 19 you really have to choose and pick your battles.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • He sounds like a responsible bright young man, going to college and working? That’s an A+.. I think if he’s not out getting drunk, getting laid or getting arrested he’s a good kid..I’d say I’m with you..1:00 am is a reasonab;e hour when your 18 to at least get in touch with you by texting, then you don’t have to worry when he’s out..I vote No curfew, but he must text you at a decided time you both agree on.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Aug 7, 2009
    • happyWell I beg to differ here I’m with dad I feel giving him a curfew still helps him to be even more responsible and will also help to better prepare him for life on his own. This is giving him a sense of responsibility about life and living a respectful one not only for and to himself but also for others, this can only help him when he does get out on his own, we must train our children with good morals and values, and most have gotten away from that in todays times. But even if this is emplemented and they still steer away from the teachings they can never say they weren’t taught or raised up properly.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Aug 7, 2009
    • He’s living under your roof.  That means he must abide by your rules whatever you decide to set.

      I think a phone call or text to let you know where he is would be enough.  

      We’ve never had curfews for our older kids.  They always had to get up for work the next morning, so we never worried about them being out too late.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Aug 7, 2009
    • I have some of the same issues with all my children, and I say that if you‘re not home by 1 am stay wherever you are.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Aug 7, 2009
    • I have 2 boys 19 and 21.. They both work and the youngest goes to college.. We want them home no later then 1:30am, if running late call or text.. If they say they are going out to a certain place and decide to go elsewhere they need to let us know that too, which they do..

      When they get ready to head home they text me and let me know that as well..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Taniar wrote Aug 7, 2009
    • EMT?? LOL, no curfew, I think he is a great and responsible man already estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Aug 10, 2009
    • It can be a tough call for boys, they want to be so independent at young ages..our son is 21, still lives at home...he is trying to build a business after being laid off and his friends all have different work hours...anyway his curfew days ended when he was 18, but since he lives with us he does text if he will not be home or tells us in the beginning of the evening that it will be a late night or early morning thing...it is a matter of concern and respect for all of us parents, that we just want to know they are o.k. and not laying dead in a ditch somewhere.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Aug 10, 2009
    • My sentiments exactly to Marya1961 and Termagsea.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      40real wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Even at 44, I considered what my parents want/need when I am in their home, and that includes, when visiting them, coming home at a time that is comfortable for them (out of respect for them.) As long as he is living in your home, how about the three of you come up with a compromise that is a happy medium that meets everyone’s needs? For instance, he has a curfew of 1am (or whatever), and on nights he wants to stay out later, maybe he can plan to spend the night out with friends. Hope this helps.

      Shannon
      The SPARK! Coach
      www.thesparkcoach.com




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