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Just an update oall my friends here on Fab40.  My Mom just died on the 19th, in my arms in ICU of Pneumonia and CHF.  Her wake s tomorrow and funeral on Sunday.  I need all the support you can give me at this time, as I am falling apart at the seams.  To see my Mom take her last breath with her head in my hands, hugging her is such a tragic and devastating memory, it’s never going to leave me.  I was by her bedside at the hospital every day all day for the past 2 weeks. I am taking all next week off to recover.  Any thoughts, advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Deanna, I am so , so sorry.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Deanna, my heart goes out to you, we are here, I don’t know what to say, I know it is a hard thing, I’m glad you got to be there for her and you guys had a chance to mend fences.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Im not great with words Deanna, but if I could,I would take away your pain.

       As hard as it is, I think you will be comforted that you were with her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Deanna, Im so sorry to hear about your mom’s passing.  I think your mom was ready to pass BECAUSE you were there holding her.  Your arms comforted her in doing so.  

      Im praying for peace for you.  You are a great daughter.

      xoxo




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladyrowley wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Make sure you let yourself grieve,be sad, be angry, really, we always seem to think  as women must be strong for everyone else. We dont. Long hot showers and good long clensing sobs. You will know when you are ready to start healing, never let anyone tell you to get over it. Yes I am speaking from experience I lost both my parents within 2 years of each other. You will eventually feel better, but never completly healed. Heartfelt Hugs for you
      Vera




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robin Clark wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Sorry to hear about your loss.  Our prayers are with you.  Hang in there and remember the good times that you had with your mom. Good luck and hold your head up high.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Termite wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Deanna,
      I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Everything these ladies have told you is right on. I lost my father 15 years ago. It never goes away, there is never a day I don’t think about him. But it will get easier to accept in time. Give yourself time to grieve.
      You are in my thoughts. What a wonderful daughter you are!! And you were raised by a wonderful Mother, I am sure of it!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Oh Deanna I am so sorry.  Although it is very difficult to watch your mom die, know that you gave her great peace and love by being there for her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • Deanna~
      I am so sorry to hear of your loss. frown
      I know how hard this time is for you as I lost my Mother not long ago, too and I cared for her for four years prior to her death. You feel as if you’ve lost part of yourself..and you have. Just find comfort in the fact that you were there for her and she knew that. She will always be with you..in you heart and in your memories.
      The pain never goes away, but it does eventually get a little easier to bear. She was lucky to have you..and you her.
      Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family in this difficult time.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • I am so sorry for your loss!! xx

      I agree with what term said!
      My blessings are with you!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • My deepest sympathy to you and all of your family, Deanna. Keep checking in with us. We‘re all here for each other at times like this.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Aug 21, 2009
    • I am so sorry for your loss.. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.. You are not alone we are all here for you.. Just remember the time you had with your mom and cherish those memories... Know that she appreciated you so very much.. She will always be with you..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • Thank you ladies, your words are so comforting, making it a little easier to deal with.  I knew you would come through for me with kind thoughts,love and heartfelt sympathy. I appreciate it so much and wish I could hug you all and cry on your shoulder.  Thank you Thank you Thank youhappy

      Deanna
      xoxoxo




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • Deanna my heart is aching for you. I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. I can’t imagine how hard it had to be holding her and knowing you had to say goodbye. Stay strong my friend and keep your head up. I pray that you will find comfort and peace at this difficult time and remember to reflect on the wonderful memories you have of your mom to help get you through this. My condolences to you and your family. I’m here for you if you need to talk.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • Deanna - I’m so sorry for this .....

      Please remember your Mum as the person she was before the illness it will help.

      Your in my thoughts honey xxxxx




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • Allow yourself every emotion your heart wants to experience, surround yourself with only people who will love you, support you and allow you your own personal grieving process with no judgement, and pull close to you whatever level of faith you follow.

      My friend Lyn lost her husband of 32 years to cancer; he took his last breath in her arms. She’s been grieving for several months. Their friends have all been supportive but some of them have since moved forward with their lives and feel she should do the same. She sought counseling and even took some anti depressant medication. She asked me how I felt about the whole thing. I told her that even though her friends love her their connection to Kenny was not the same as hers. It’s ok for them to go forward but if she’s not ready to do that, she should just temporarily turn a deaf ear to their advice and surround herself with those who will allow her to continue this process as she sees fit.

      Know that we are here for you. I’m so very sorry for your loss.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kandykahne 5 wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • Deanna, I am very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to grieve and remember the good times you had with your Mom. Wonderful memories are a great thing to have. You were there for her when she needed you and that must have been a comfort to her as hard as it was for you. Take care and know we are here for you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Myrna Perez wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • I’m awfully sorry.  I know how it is to lose a parent, so I understand how you‘re feeling.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  

      Hang in there.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Aug 22, 2009
    • I’m so sorry for your loss.  my Condolences go out to you and your family and If you need to talk, you can PM me anytime.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilwhitedaisy wrote Aug 23, 2009
    • Deanna, I am so very sorry for your loss. i lost my father at 14 and my mom 3yrs ago. I can never find words that can express how much I feel for you for your loss, they never seem to be enough , or the right ones. But know that you and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers at his time. Hold on to the good memories you have, know that your mom is in a place where there is no more pain, no more sorrow.  , your mom isnt gone for ever ...you will be together again..i believe this to be true..and it is what keeps me going.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Aug 23, 2009
    • Deanna..Many thoughts and prayers to you and your family right now...it will be difficult for awhile and grieving is expected.  Take time for yourself and know that you were able to be there for your mom and that will always be a special memory that you will hold dear.

      HUGS XO
      Maryestatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Desty wrote Sep 2, 2009
    • Deanna, I can feel your pain. On Sept 4, it will be 3 months that I lay in bed, holding my mother as she died. I did not want her to die alone. The pain is still just below the surface and tears come unexpectedly; but it is o.k. there would be no pain if their was no love. I know that she knew that I was there. I talked to her and prayed to her during the process. What a wonderful gift our mothers’ gave us.  Cry all you need to,keep her close to you (I wore her pearls everyday for weeks.)  I still talk to her and ask her questions. Recently I apologized to her for not being as good as a daughter I could have been, and there was nothing I could do now.  All of a sudden words came into my head “Be good to your father.” I know that was my mother talking to me.  I will honor her request.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Casper wrote Sep 9, 2009
    • My Mom passed away a little over a year ago...very suddenly. She had a massive brain bleed due to taking plavix for to long. I understand not only the coming apart at the seams concept but also the horrible emptiness you must feel. My only advice is, just force yourself out of bed every morning and eventually one morning you will realize you did not have to force yourself as hard. People told me "Oh it gets easier" Well unfortunately I am not going to tell you that. Because for me it has not gotten easier. I still miss my Mom as much today as I did the first day. I do however get out of bed every morning, I rejoice in my life, I remember the wonderful times I spent with her, and these thoughts now bring a smile to my face rather then a tear to my eye. SO I guess that is improvement.

           I am very sorry for your loss. and I hope you will soon remember your wonderful times with a smile.




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