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Benefits
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Benefits
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Is there a right and wrong way to vent about your spouse/significant other to your friends?
I think so. From past experience I have found that you can’t say too many negative things as they always come back to bite you in the butt. Pick and choose carefully who you tell things to. Putting too much negative info about your relationship is never a good thing.
I generally start with the words “sometimes he just drives me crazy.....” and then say what I want to say. With the word sometimes in there is sounds like a general complaint and not an ongoing issue. It opens up the conversation for sharing back and forth, maybe throwing in little humor; everyone feels better and still gets their frustration out. No harm done.
I think I share too much Info, my bff Is the only one I tell things too about my spouse, but maybe I shouldn’t. She doesn’t have a boyfriend or has never been married to really sympethize with me. But she still listens, I should probably ask her If It bothers her. Thanks for the thought
So I guess I am not good at this advice..lol
I think there is a way that honors the relationship and a way that does not.
Sometimes the freedom to fuss and cry and stomp my foot to a trusted friend clears my mind of all the noise so that I can move toward a positive solution.
Even if I am hurt or angry I try to keep my rant focused on the behavior that is making me crazy and not confuse the behavior with the person that he is.
And I’m very selective about who I share my rants with...
After the initial foot stomping,I want to be encouraged to build up not tear down this marriage.
I agree with Angell. I’ve learned over the years to keep my mouth shut on that subject. I only say good things to friends now!
If you talk about a specific incident where your husband drives you crazy I think that’s okay as long as you indicate that this is an aberration and that your relationship is still strong. Otherwise your friends might start to dislike your hubby or worry that you‘re about to split up.
I basically know what to say and when to say it. I dont want to bore my friends with petty bullshit that will undoubtedly pass.
xoxo
I don’t divulge too much about my hub or anyone for that matter other than general statements..learned from past experiences that you do not know who to trust and agree with Ang, it can definitely kick you in the behind...plus, it leaves some mystery to your life, make others wonder..
We generally don’t say anything about the other that paints either of us in a negative light to others. The primary reasoning behind this is that we are a team......and saying anything that tears down the other isn’t team building and only promotes the him against her mentality that is so counter productive to a healthy loving relationship...........
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