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Have you ever had a friend that you just loved so much, but you knew deep down in your heart that they were not the truest friend they were pretending to be? Did you keep them as a friend or did you eventually just step back?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Aug 29, 2009
    • wow!  I am dealing with that veryissue right now.  My problem seems like I feel like I am keeping the friendship going.........I am the one that texts, calls, etc. Sometimes it would be nice to just get a “hello    hope you r well” kinda thing. So for me I hav not solved the issue yet. Its hard to walk away from folks you care about....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angela 'Cocco' Williams wrote Aug 29, 2009
    • Kanini good girl. Your right it does hurt, but you gotta let go of old baggage in order to live more abundently. Vgirl I am sorry to hear that, but today is your lucky day sis. It is hard for us to let go when we love people, but we must learn to love ourselves just as much as we love those people and we must let them know what they are doing to us. Tell that friend how you feel and if they really love and care about you, then they will change their behavior. If they dont then you can really see and deal with how you want to go on with the friendship. Be at peace sistahs.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Aug 29, 2009
    • I’ve also been dealing with a similar issue.  

      I had a close friend for over ten years that was more of a taker than a giver in our relationship, but because she was always in such need of comfort and friendship, I hung in there and tried to be the best friend I could.

      Abruptly, just before the holidays last year, she stopped responding to my calls, texts and emails. I was hurt by being discarded so casually, but eventually chalked it up to the fact that people come in and out of our lives for a reason, and perhaps my reason for being in her life (and her in mine) had passed.

      Six months later I got an email from her, announcing she was getting married, but with no explanation for the distance she’d put between us. I chose not to respond.

      A week or so ago I got a birthday card from her mother, and in the card was a note telling me that my former friend had been diagnosed with cancer and was having a kidney removed.

      I was torn as to how I should respond (and even sought advice here at Fab40), and in the end I responded to the card with a card of my own. It included my sympathies and wishes for a speedy recovery.

      Right now, in spite of her illness, I don’t feel like reaching out to her in friendship would be genuine on my part. Tomorrow or next week or next month that may change, but right now I think I’d be doing us both a disservice by going to her with anything less than full forgiveness (something I struggle with from time to time).




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Aug 29, 2009
    • I had a friend, Denise, that I truly loved.  When she lived near me we did everything together, but I saw how she let her old friendships drop when people were far away.  So I knew when I moved to Texas I would lose her friendship, but it still broke my heart.  She was such a fun person to be with.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 29, 2009
    • Yes, and it does hurt. But at the same time I felt a tremendous weight lift from me. It nagged at me for several years that my friend was not a very nice person. She used people and she was very rude and belittling of others. I became embarrassed to be with her; didn’t want to be put in the same category. So I discontinued the friendship. Now I just want to be around nice people. No energy left for the other ones.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Aug 30, 2009
    • I had a close friendship with someone that I had to let go of...at least I thought we were close. We were friends for a long time but she became very negative and wasn’t there for me at a time when I really needed her true friendship. I had to pull away from her because I need positive people in my life...people who encourage and uplift me...not try to break me down. What I put into my friendships is what I want in return.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Taniar wrote Aug 30, 2009
    • I stepped back and I will never put myself in a position where anyone knows so much about me again. Not worth it for me to ever have the posibility of this happening again.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robin Gibson wrote Aug 30, 2009
    • I have had to let go of some friendships.  I am always using the saying “say what you mean, mean what you say“.  Life is too short to be guessing and trying to interpret what your close friends say.  As women we have intuition and if it feels the friendship is not on the up and up, then it is probably not.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote Aug 30, 2009
    • Yes, I have. I have had to let go of a few friends over the years because of the same reasons the ladies mentioned. I put my self out there and was always there when they needed me only to find myself alone when in need. It’s just not worth it to invest that kind of time, love and energy on someone that you know does not appreciate you for who you are and love you the same way.

      I am struggling with another friend now. I so love this womam. She and I get along very well and have many things in common. The problem I have with her is that we disagree on religious issues. That in itself is not the problem. I respect everyone for their beliefs, but I think I deserve the same respect in return. It seems that each time we talk, the subject comes about and she always wants to debate the issue. I am a firm believer in GOD and that Christ died on the Cross for all of us. She, however, thinks that it’s not about Christ’s death, just his life that matters and ARGUES constantly about it. I NEVER bring up the subject...she does! As much as I think we need to bring souls to HIM, I want PEACE and HARMONY in my relationships and much as LOVE! I tell her we should just agree to disagree, but she refuses. I don’t know what to do about this one. What good is a friendship if you are always arguing and debating? The thought of ending it has been weighing heavy on my mind. Please pray that I make the right decision! frown




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilwhitedaisy wrote Aug 31, 2009
    • i too have let go of a friendship recently, the negativity was more than i could stand, and i noticed it was begining to rub off on me, that i was becoming a negative person also. I started listening to the cutting remarks , and the put downs that i hadnt noticed before, i like to see good in people, and will put it down to someone having a bad day!..but when i spent the summer without having contact from her, i felt my life was better for it, i was happier! Sometimes toxic people enter our lives and you dont see the poison they bring with them. I realised i was something she needed to make herself happy, i was a doormat, someone to belittle when she was having a crap day...i took my life back, and i dont regret it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 31, 2009
    • "Yes, and it does hurt. But at the same time I felt a tremendous weight lift from me. It nagged at me for several years that my friend was not a very nice person. She used people and she was very rude and belittling of others. I became embarrassed to be with her; didn't want to be put in the same category. So I discontinued the friendship. Now I just want to be around nice people. No energy left for the other ones."
      Cynthia you must know my former friend Bea ....... who I have just dumped and guess what I don't feel bad about it and the other toxic person even though I’ve had numerous emails over the last fortnight which are still finger pointing.
      It's a life lesson and sadly one that's painful but I'm over the navel contemplation and on to being busy with positive things in my life




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