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Q & A

If your aging parent did not have the means to take care of him/her self(nursing care or a retirement home), would you be willing to take them in?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Sep 6, 2009
    • I am fortunate that my parents will be able to care for themselves, but I feel for those elderly folks who don’t have the means and possibly would like to be on their own and not have a child take care of them.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Sep 6, 2009
    • Absolutely.  Unless one of my parents got to the point where they required more nursing care than I could provide,  I would not hesitate to take them in.  That goes for the MIL and FIL as well.

      Tulip




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Sep 7, 2009
    • Of course!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 7, 2009
    • We’ve talked about in home care for my mom is the need comes up. She would prefer to be in her own home but doesn’t want any of us to live with her or her to live with us. My sister and I would take turns staying with her in her guest room. She only lives a few minutes away from her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 7, 2009
    • My mother IS in a nursing home and the money she saved, stocks..etc...afforded her to be able to stay in an assisted living for about 4 years and now she is in a nursing home.  She suffers with alzheimers and has had it for at least 11 years.  We are very fortunate to have her in a facility that specializes in alzheimers and she gets excellent care.  My sisters and I feel that we could not take care of her as good the nursing home does.  But if the nursing home was not available to us and her we would certainly take her in and do whatever it took to care for her.  There are four of us...all girls and we all live in the same area....so if needed we could do it but it would be hard.  And as I stated before....we feel we would not give her as good of care as she gets now...but we would certainly give it our best.  We have always given our mother the BEST.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote Sep 7, 2009
    • Wouldn’t they have nursing home care pd for by the gov’t if they couldn’t pay for it on their own?  Just askin‘....

      Yes, I would.... and have.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Sep 8, 2009
    • Absolutely!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Sep 8, 2009
    • Thanks Tamra...I will look into the nursing home care funded by the government, never thought of that...good thing for elders to know if it is available to them.happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote Sep 8, 2009
    • Marya, it’s my understanding that if the patient qualifies for medicare, it should cover nursing home care costs.  But only once all assets of the patient have been exhausted.  However, that is only a generalization.

      When my MIL was dying of stage 4 lung cancer, she was only 64 and did not receive any medicare benefits even though she was receiving social security.  In her case, we had to cover the costs of her home care out of our own pocket.  She had very good health insurance, but she did not have nursing home care coverage, as is quite common.  So this was a case when the gov’t would not help.

      In our society, there are few options for caring for a parent.  I hope your are able to find the resources you need.  Good luck to you.

      As I type this, my parents are riding in an ambulance to get my dad to a major hospital near me for cardiac care so I can care for my mom during his hospital stay.  Exactly two weeks ago today, the same thing was happening, right down to the minute.  It is a struggle to help them when they are ill and maintain my household and care for my kids simultaneously.  I could use any advice someone is willing to share.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Casper wrote Sep 9, 2009
    • I guess I would answer most definately yes to this. 3 years ago I bought a house large enough to accomodate my elderly parents, and myself. They had been living in an old and very small apartment and were given notice that the apartmants were being sold and they would have to move. At the time, I was looking to buy a house but had not settled on one yet. My folks were given a generous amount of moving time... 1 month (illegal? maybe...immoral? most definately). Anyway I had to step up my house hunting because living on their very tiny retirement and SSI incomes, plus paying the rediculous amounts they were shelling out for past and over due medial expenses...there was no way they could afford to move. I, with the help of a very understanding boyfriend, managed to find a suitable home as quickly as possible. I got the financing, the closing done, and had the keys to my new house in my hand in less then 3 weeks. Leaving me the last week to move their household and my own into the home. It was both amazing and miraculous I was able to accomplish it in such a short time,( I contribute this to my guardian angel) but with the help of my wonderful mortgage company lady, who is a complete wiz...and some good old fashioned knee bending, it all happened. Now my Father is 78yrs old, has diabetes, COPD, and Leukiemia. And my mother at the time we moved was recovering from a massive heart attack that had killed her 4 times (fortunately her doctor refused to leave her dead) and had to have emergency surgery to place stents in her arteries to get the blood flowing again.

          It was 1 year after moving into our new home, almost to the day that my Mother had a massive brain bleed due to the medication she was taking (Plavix) to keep her arteries from clogging up again. She was left brain dead and passed away a few days later. So now it’s just me and Dad. So yeah I guess I would take them in. :)  And yes, I would gladly do it all over again!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Hengen wrote Jan 14, 2010
    • I am currently taking care of my mother who has early onset Alzheimer’s, she’s in the severe stages and it’s very difficult. I will eventually have to put her in a nursing home, the strain it’s taking on me is not healthy for me and what good would I be if I fall apart? Right now I don’t have much of a life because I have to care for her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 14, 2010
    • Tina40:  I am sorry for what is happening to your mother.  It is very stressful taking care of an alzheimer patient..even more so when they are not cooperative or combative. My mother just recently passed away on Dec. 28th of alzheimers...having it for almost 12 years.  

      Unlike you our mother was never hard to deal with and always pleasant...and kept her sense of humor up until about 2-3 months ago.  She lived 3 years by herself after my father passed away in April of ‘98.  Then she moved to an assisted living for 4 years and had reach her highest level of care there.  Then we moved her to a nursing home that had an alzheimer’s wing..and she lived there for four years.  She got excellent care there and we would have never been able to care for her like they did.  Not only did they care for her but they loved her.  

      My suggestion to you is to seek the Alzheimer’s Association for some support, make sure you have a power of attorney, and any facility that cares for alzheimer patients....and you approve the faciity...get on their waiting list even if you‘re not ready to put your mother there.  It’s better to be on the list than not..than need them..and can’t get in.  

      HOpe this helps...feel free to contact me anytime.  It’s a hard road....I know.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 16, 2010
    • yes i would and i am taking care of my elderly parents, and it is VERY STRESSFUL... VERY HARD.. and not good for me... my mom is going to have hospice come in a few time a week, so that will help me out ALOT!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 16, 2010
    • I guess I didn’t really answer the question...yes I would take my parents in but in my case...a nursing home was available to my mother who had exhausted all of her funds...after living in an assisted living for four years.  The alzheimers wing of this particular nursing home took excellent care of my mother and I know that my sisters and I could have never cared for her the way they did.  But I know that is not always the case for everyone.  We were very blessed.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nita P wrote Jan 29, 2012
    • most definitely, even though i know it would be a strain on my family financially.  it would just be a matter of rearranging my priorities.  it is quite sad to know there are elderly folk out there to whom are struggling in life.  it is horrifying to know there are old peoples rest homes that deliver shocking care.  here in aus we have this scheme that allows you to adopt an elderly person.




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