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anonymous Anonymous

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Help!  I just found out me 14 year old daughter is cutting herself.  Have any of you gone through this with your own children?  I have an appointment with a psychiatrist for her on Monday.  I’m really worried about her!!!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Nov 20, 2009
    • The first thing to do is stay calm.  If you go freaking out about this, it is probably only going to make your daughter laugh at you.

      My youngest daughter is a cutter.  I don’t understand it at all.  I’ve done some reading on the subject (Lots of stuff online if you google it) and it still baffles me.

      Counseling, that’s only going to work if your daughter wants to be helped, otherwise you‘re pouring your money down the drain.  My daughter went into counseling with a bad attitude and a closed mind and it did her no good at all.  It didn’t take long before she refused to go at all.

      My daughter is 17 now.  She lives with her dad so I don’t see her every day, but I do know she’s cutting a lot less than she did even two years ago.

      I have a young friend who told me she used to cut herself (from about the age of 13-17) and then one day she says she just sort of outgrew it and doesn’t do it anymore.  She’s about 20 now and seems like a pretty well adjusted kid.

      I know for my daughter this was(is?) her way of dealing with emotional pain.  Get the heart of what’s hurting her and you may stop the cutting.  Is there a lot of turmoil in your family?  Divorce?  Death of a loved one?

      If you need to talk, I’m here, we‘re all here for you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Nov 20, 2009
    • Great advice from Tuliplady. My brother is a cutter . I have read about it online too. From what I read, the cutter doesnt know how to get out their feelings, hurt , anger and they use cutting as a release . Good Luck with your daughter ((hugs))




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Nov 20, 2009
    • Sorry to hear about your daughter doing this. I was a cutter when I was younger. Thats what I did when I was depressed or angry and that was the only way I knew how to solve my problems Instead of talking to someone or getting angry at others, I just got angry with myself and started cutting my arms and sometimes my thighs. When I met my Best Friend, I started cutting less because she was always there for me and talked to me so It got less and less to the point where I stopped. This was when I was In my older teens, between 18 and 19.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Nov 21, 2009
    • Yes I have. You are not alone, and I agree that if at all possible, get her to the psychiatrist. There’s something going on in her life that you don’t know about. With my daughter, it was a date rape which took us over a year to find out about. It was a horrible thing to go through for all of us...her suffering and us feeling helpless. I’ll pray that your daughter is cooperative, Anonymous. God knows who you and your daughter are and all about it, and He is able to turn this thing around.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Nov 21, 2009
    • I pray for your daughter, Anonymous...it is a difficult thing to deal with as I have had a couple of friends that went through enormous pain in their lives and felt this was a release for them...please be patient with her and encourage gentle conversation so she may feel completely secure in opening up to you..many hugs to you both.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Nov 21, 2009
    • Thank you all for your insights and encouragement!  We are going to get through this thing and work it out.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sandils1962 wrote Nov 22, 2009
    • I will be praying for you and your daughter.  I never cut but I pierced myself many, many times to get me through my depressions.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 22, 2009
    • blessings to your daughter.  

      I have not personally encountered this, but have heard from many who have or have children who do.

      Let her know you love her and are there for her. Getting help is a gr8 idea. It may not work for some, but it may work for her. You need to do what is right for her.

      Keep the lines of communication open.

      your family will be in my thoughts!!
      xx




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Nov 22, 2009
    • Actually, I believe my niece (who I saw last year for the first time in 13 years) is a cutter.  She lives with her dad and has all this time.  She witnessed so much crap between my sister and her father besides being in a near fatal car crash when she was just 2-1/2.  She survived that just some scars from surgeries on the outside that will fade more, but the scars on the inside I think are still there, prominent as ever.  I noticed her arms when she came to visit last summer.  I asked her and she said yeah, she did it once or twice.  That was the end of the conversation. I dont know how her father is handling it (Im sure he knows) as he hates all of us and doesnt really let us in on anything.  Its really all so sad.

      xoxo




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