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Benefits
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Benefits
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The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help
because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to
each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the
other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by
some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit
through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom
for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the
other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message
on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don’t.
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it
‘fur‘-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most
people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak
clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don’t ask for money all the time.
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called
(5) never ask to drive the car
(6) don’t hang out with drug-using people
(7) don’t smoke or drink
(8) don’t want to wear your clothes
(9) don’t have to buy the latest fashions
(10) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
I recieved this today and wanted to share. Hope that this made you smile.
Love it!
Diana
Longaberger Baskets-Independent Home Consultant
http://www.longaberger.com/dianaalexander
I had an altercation with my old Tom cat over a par-boiled pork chop I was going to stuff. I went to answer the door right after seasoning it and left it on the kitchen counter. When I came back to the kitchen, the pork chop was gone and so was Bruce, my cat. I lost the trail as it went from the tile floor to the carpet, but found him dragging it down the stairs to the basement. I struggled to get that pork chop back, but after a good five minutes of cussing and tugging, I had to give it up. I told my grandmother, who after laughing so hard she almost fell out of her chair, gave me another pork chop, which I guarded like a one-armed inmate all the way to the table!
Loved it, thanks for sharing!
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
FOLLOW YOUR
DREAMS
http://www.marykay.com/marybpitner
Love it .......
Vicki
Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you‘re the man who made them.—Frank Tyger
MelissaBelle
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This is great. I always enjoy reading cute articles about pets.
Create lasting relationships
with other like minded women.
