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I’ve been dealing with the loss of my closest friends. Recently, I took a job an hour away from my home, and now stay with my boyfriend half time, and half time at home (still have pets there and a house to sell...ugh!).  Anyway, my old friends, the ones that I thought were tried and true, have faded and drifted away and don’t even return texts. It is as if I have fallen off the earth (or they have).   I have two friends that try to stay in touch but we are all in such different stages (one’s 15 yrs younger and restarting with marriage and a new baby), the other has teens at home and less freedom than I—this hurt because in our last conversation she told me that “I was the glue and now that I was ‘gone‘, our group is not much of a group now“.  I am so sad about it.  Hard to make new friends when I am have a foot in two cities and travel between them both.  Feeling depressed these days, too.  I do realize that things always get better, though...right now the overall mood is “LIMBO“. Hate it.  I guess this too shall pass, huh?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maryann Rhodey wrote Feb 24, 2010
    • Georgiamamasita I’m sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time.  First of all, moving is very stressful and living in two places even more so.  You are dealing with a lot emotionally.  Give yourself a cheer for withstanding your double life.  The depression is probably a result of all the traveling and realization that you are leaving one life to start another.  

      Second, friends go through changes as well.  This is so evident with your friend who is beginning her family.  Sometimes you feel a distance between yourself and your friends that may or may not be there.  Do you think that some of it is the fact that you know you won’t be near them any longer?  It does hurt very deeply when you realize your friendship is no longer what it once was, however, you may be able to get that back once everything is settled.  I don’t mean to make light of what you‘re feeling.  You definitely have the right to feel as you do.  Maybe trying to talk with your friends about your feelings will help.  Ask them what they are feeling and if they see the same thing happening with your relationship.    

      It’s so ironic that you are voicing all of this.  I too have been living in two cities.  My husband was transferred to another state and I had to leave my daughters and grandsons behind.  I go back every month but it’s true that you feel that you have a foot in two cities.  It is very difficult to make new friends when you are still “in between” two places.  I don’t even know where to tell people I live.  I actually think that’s a great conversation starter!  LOL

      Maybe you can try to get involved in some groups in the area you will be moving to.  I went to and found some groups with similar interests to meet people.  I’m in a book club and several other groups.  One of the groups turned out to be the local Fabulously 40 group!  

      Take care of yourself too.  Try to get out and walk or exercise so you can try to work out those feelings of depression.  

      You can always PM me if you want and we can share some of those experiences we are both going through.  

      Best to you.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jo46 wrote Feb 24, 2010
    • True friends will stick by you no matter how busy they are!  Give them a little space and try again.  Sometimes one can outgrow the friendship and vice versa.  Maybe try and concentrate on what’s going good in your life, treat yourself well, and getting a goodnights sleep will also help with coping.  Hang in there and don’t give up!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Feb 25, 2010
    • I agree! dont give up.. sometimes things go the way they do for a reason.. do we understand why? no, not all the time, or right away, however we will in time..

      i feel you need to look after you right now.. you have alot going on, and its important that you take care of you..i knw what you are going through as i have been through it myself.. time heals all wounds..( not that there are any )


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote Apr 23, 2010
    • There are many groups that cater to alot of different interests., If you like walking or hiking, there are groups who do that.  I met my husband in a running group.  Just look for social organisations on line.  Good luck.  I had the same problem when commuting between LA and the UK

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