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My niece died of breast cancer a year ago, she was 27. My sister ( her mother) understandably is having a ruff time dealing with it. She goes to the cemetery every day and is really not taking care of herself. How can i help her and what is normal, if there is such a thing, in this situation.
There are support groups online for parents who have lost their children and probably some support groups in the area where she lives. You may be able to convince her to attend one. If she’s having a lot of difficulty she may need therapy. As long as she knows that you‘re there for her - a shoulder to lean on when things get rough - that’s a great beginning.
First, I am so very sorry for the loss of your niece.
I wish I had the right words to say for you to help your sister.
As kyah said maybe a support group.
I know they have support groups specifically for parents who have lost a child.
My sympathy on your loss, as Kyah mentioned above, grieving is different for everyone...I don’t know if there is such a thing as normal.
First, let me offer my condolences. I went through this when my sister died. I saw what happened to my parents. The first year is the roughest. Therre should be a natural law that no parent has to go experience a death of a child.
Try to get her to join a support group where she can find solace in other people who are going through this. The trick is to turn the pain of losing her daughter into action and purpose. Get her involved in a way that would honor you niece, such a group walk that benefits breast cancer. She will get tremendous support from everyone. Even training for the walk will give her purpose and a way to honor your niece daily. Plus, the exercise will help give her a boost of endorphins that will help with her grief.
The other suggestion that I have is a book that entitled “Confessions of a Grieving Christian” by Zig Ziegler. He wrote the book after he lost his daughter. It is on amazon and you might want to check it out.
Again, I am sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your sister in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary
My deepest condolences for the loss of your niece.
I agree with everyone’s comments. Everyone has to grieve in their own way and in their time. Please know that you, your sister and your family are in my prayers.
Blessings
There is no set time and people deal with it in their own way - but having lost my sister almost two years ago let me say the best thing we did as a family was take time out and we went away and just talked about her , her death and how we felt and it made such a difference as it was a life gone to soon
I am so sorry for your loss. The ladies are all so correct. I found though that engaging her in talks about her daughter’s accomplishments and not focus on what she would have been doing will help her to realise that she did accomplish things in her short 27 years. Group meetings are wonderful, the support will be great, it is a chance to meet and greet people and she will be surprised how much she will grow. I love the suggestion about joining in on a group walk that supports breast cancer, thats great.
Continue to remember the good times and with time it will get a bit easier.
My best friend’s daughter (18 months) died just two months ago. I have found that she will never recover, ever. She is joining this support group for parents that have lost a child because these are their own words, “they live, but there is always a big hole in their hearts“. My friend is an Accountant and is going back to Law school, that is something I would never imagine, but good for her.
My almost (im engaged to her bro) sister in law died 3 days ago. she was surrouded by us.. family her mom, dad brother her daughters grandbaby, inlaws...
i dont feel like i have a right to grieve... odd i know... she had cancer too. was horrible to see her go and i cant imagine the pain she was in but i keep dreaming about it.i hope that stops soon.
anyone else have nightmares about it? you can pm me please
Hello, I am new to site and saw your posting late. But I want to tell you that I lost my sister 2yrs ago from cancer and I am still mourning for her. I miss her terribly and get upset when something reminds me of her. Have become too sensitive about many things, lately. My mother has had a terrible time with it as well in the form of nightmares. She fell off the bed during a nightmare and broke her collar bone but is finally healing. Me, my mother and my oldest sister, when we get together, we talk about the experience we had with her on her final months on earth. Its a therapy to us because we know we can open up about our feelings every now and then about our loss.
Your sister needs to open up to someone; maybe you can be that person. She just needs to pour out her soul to someone who can just cry with her. Crying out loud is a form of therapy; help her heal.
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