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How do you tell a friend that her drinking is killing her marriage?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 31, 2010
    • Tactfully, with sincerity and loving expression.  Use I feel statement, like “I feel worried.  From my observation, I feel your husband is distancing because of your drinking problem.  I don’t know how much you treasure your marriage but as being a true friend to you, I feel I ought to tell you this so you may take a closer look at your situation.  If there is anything you trust me enough to help, please let me know”

      I have friend lost her marriage to an ER doctor and her two kids.  Sometimes, they (the addicts) would be in denial or would not want help.  I will pray for courage, strength and wisdom both you and your friend.  Please let us know how it goes.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 1, 2010
    • There is no good way to tell her.  Quite likely no matter how you bring it up, she’s going to get angry and defensive and probably deny she has a drinking problem.  Alcoholics will blame their problems on everyone but themselves.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Apr 1, 2010
    • I agree with Ellen, this is a tough subject to bring up to someone I hope whichever route you take works, even if it doesn’t at least you’ll know you tried.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Apr 1, 2010
    • Sadly having been married to a person with a drink problem – they will not do anything unless they want plus everything is someone else's problem.

      Two of my very dear mates are fully paid up AA members and prior to AA were a nightmare and in denial – both reached rock bottom and I mean the bottom before they twigged they had a problem and needed help – one is a very well known fashionista and she called me from a pay phone one morning at 4am on a reverse charge as she had woken up in a doorway minus coat, shoes and handbag – she had wet herself – she then had to explain this was the 10th morning she had woken up and couldn't remember how she got in bed or the house etc but the shame of the doorway brought her to her senses.
      So all I can say until your friend sees her problem she will do nothing as they are in denial – my hubby lost everything due to drink – and yes he still drinks !




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Apr 1, 2010
    • It doesn’t matter what you say to her, she has to want to change for herself and it sounds as if she’s not ready.  Unfortunately, many people like her have to hit rock bottom before they change.  If the arguing bother’s you then I would distance myself from them.  When she ask’s you just tell her you don’t feel comfortable being around the tension.  I know I can’t stant to be around arguing/bickering couples.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Esther Bloom wrote Apr 3, 2010
    • As a recovering alcoholic (14 yrs) I would suggest, if you are very close, just tell her the truth if you can find her sober. Then suggest that she get some help. I f you can’t do that then maybe her husband should go to Alanon meetings. It would help him to deal and understand her problem.worriedworried




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