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Question

Thirty plus years ago, if you didn't have a child by 30 you were doomed.
Now, many women opt to have kids later on in life, so kids are born to moms that are 40 plus, plus and than some.
At the age of 47 Demi Moore is thinking about having a child with Ashton, 32.
Do you think it is fair for a child to have "older parents?"
In your opinion, what would be the "cut off" age to have a child?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • Having given birth to my first child at 22, I can now say I was way too young. However, having a 23 year old at age 45 is fantastic.

      If I had to do it all over I would of done the same thing, simply because I have no patience left and energy is failing me.  

      I think having a 10 year old when you are 55 is not fair to a child. Am I wrong?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • I agree.  Look at Larry King’s kids.  He’s what 76 and has a 10 year old and I believe an 8 year old.  Tony  Randall had a kid in his 70’s.  The parent’s won’t be around to see their wedding, graduation, etc. IMO.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • Oh and don’t forget Hugh Hefner’s son’s.  Of course they have a much, much younger mother but again, IMO I don’t think it’s fair.  I would hate to have someone think my father is my grandfather (or mother being my grandmother!).




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • you‘re not wrong-I can’t even imagine what I’d feel like if I would have to be a full time parent again.  I took over the parenting job for 6 wks for my darling grandsons.  I’m 52, with health issues.  I’m still playing catch up w/ my health.
      And they were literally angels.  helping as much as a 2 and 3 year old could-but honestly, they need a lot of care and I wasn’t going to not give it to them.

      I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but I sure would suffer for it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • I agree with Helen.  It depends on the individual.  I have friends who waited till they were 30 or nearly to have kids.  They are wonderful patient parents and I envy them that.

      I had my first kid at 20 and boy was I dumb, impatient, exhausted, you name it.  It’s wonderful having a daughter who is only 20 years younger than me.  But is it fair to a kid for people to think her mother is her sister? (and yes, she gets that A LOT)

      I think if your body can handle a baby at 40, go for it.  I couldn’t do it physically anymore.  I’m too worn out from the first four!!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • I think women should start having kids from in their early 20s. I had my 1st child at 31 and wished I had her 10 years before. At 45 my nerves are shattered and so worn out from stress it is a bit hard to keep up with them.  

      If my mother had the knowledge I now have and passed it on to me as a young person, I would be able to cope. I do find it important to pass on the knowledge I have and continue to persue, to my kids so that the cycle is broken.heartheartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • I would say it depends on the individual. I for one like being around other people’s children, but am glad I don’t have any. If I were still able to conceive, I doubt if I would want to raise a kid now at more than half a century in age.  

      What about all the children raised by their grandparents and great grandparents because their parents couldn’t? Love is love, no matter what age.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Paris Mano wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • I think having children when you are older is much better. They are more stable financially and emotionally. Having children in the 20’s is too young....at least with the generation of today. I think it is much fairer to the child to have an “older” parent than one much younger that cannot really care for them. Too many young girls are having children so they will have someone to “love” them! They are really not aware of the sacrifice and expense of having children. JMHOheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Apr 16, 2010
    • I think it depends on the circumstances.  Growing up I actually knew a lot of families with “oops” babies- babies that were born when their parents were in their 40s and it turned out okay.  My daughter was born when i was 36 and I can’t imagine having a child any later that 38 because i don’t have the energy for a young child.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Apr 17, 2010
    • I was perfectly happy having our son at age 26..we are still young enough to keep up with the younger generation and trends, but yet have the knowledge of middle aged parents..and the cool thing is if and when we have grand-babies, we will still be young!estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joibell wrote Apr 17, 2010
    • Hummm. These are all very insightful answers. I am 44 with no children and i recently decided to have a child(I am a candidate for in vitro so it probably wont happen until I’m 45). It is a big decision, but my husband is considerably younger and would make a wonderful father if anything should happen to me.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kmarie wrote Apr 17, 2010
    • I also think that it is about the individual, My Grandmother had a child at age 50. It is really about how you live your life.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Raquel2526 wrote Apr 17, 2010
    • I was such a late bloomer, not marrying until 32 and then having my children at ages 34 and 37.  I am 42 now and feel that this is a great time for me and hubby to raise our young sons.  They are now 5 and 7 and we are all having the time of our lives.  The partying, hedonism and career race are all out of the way, having “been there and done that” in our 20s and 30s.

      However, I do admire larger families and would have loved to have 3 or 4 children total.  

      Either way it is a blessing to have children.

      Joibell, good luck to you as you go forth with IVF!  heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Apr 17, 2010
    • I find that Brain Yoga helps me, (that is when I remember to do it ( estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote Apr 17, 2010
    • I don’t think it’s fair to the parents.  We are tired when we are older, period!!   I personally would not want to be chasing a child in my 50’s, but in Demi Moore’s case she will probably have nannies to do the chasing.  I guess if I looked like her, then I would be looked at as an ‘old’ mom!!!  I don’t know...very hard to say.  Older people might have just as much energy as young ones.???  hmmmm.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nathalie Girard wrote Apr 18, 2010
    • I really believe it’s up to the individual to decide. Age has nothing to do with it. The question should be are you ready or not?

      My cousin just had her first born when she was 22. She is a wonderful mother and she is enjoying it.The father is the same age and takes days off to spend with his son. It is obvious that this is what they wanted. This child will be raised in a loving and caring family.

      My mom had me when she was 20.She had children because it was the thing to do and everybody else was having them at her age. She was often mean, impatient and didn’t tolerate anything. She often told my sister and I that she dreamt of the day we would be old enough to leave the house. The fact that she was 20 has nothing to do with it.  Today, communication is still hard between us. Although we are 20 years apart, I often find I have nothing to say to her because of the bitterness. For the past year we have made progress and things are starting to be pleasant between us.

      As a special education teacher, I’ve seen too many children that were crushed, ignored or/and mistreated by their parents, young or old. Parents who have not delt with their issues inflict them on their children.  

      I’m 40 and I don’t have a child yet. For me, it was very important to find myself first. There was no way I was going to put a child in this world if I wasn’t sure I could deal with him or her appropriatly. I also wanted to find a partner that I could trust to be a great father, no matter what happened to our couple. I never met such a man until I was 38. We have been married for a year and a half and now we are thinking of having children.  

      I think I can be a much better mom now that I can put things into perspective. I’ve also traveled half the world and realized almost all of my dreams. I’m healthier physically and mentally than ever. I am now ready for a new adventure of a different kind: motherhood. I am confident that I am mature and experienced enough not to reproduce my mother’s behaviour, that I can provide the love and care a child needs to have a good start in life.  

      I am aware that no perfect parent exist, and I think in the end most parents want the best for their children. For some communicating this love is hard, for others easy. There is no mold to being a good parent. We cannot say you have to weigh this much, be a good cook, know how to quilt a blanket, nor can we say you have to be a specific age. In the end, all a child really needs is to be loved and appreciated, period. All the rest can vary form and size.




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