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Q & A

Should college choice be up to you or up to your child?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • We always told our kids that:

      Who they want to be was their choice, which college they were going to attend to was our.

      What are your thoughts on this matter?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rashib Taylor-Davis wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • I think it should be up to the child.  Reason being they are the one that will be receiving the education toward their future.  Who am I to say where they should receive it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • I think they should be able to choose where they go.
      Depending on the money, there may need to be changes.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • I had high hopes mine would go to university but she stubbornly refused – she did go to college and she has qualifications but I know if I had forced the university route on her then it would have been three long and tortuous years wasted !
      In fact she knew she would have to win us over so planned out an alternative route in a very mature way.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • If my parents had chosen my college, they’d have sent me to the same one my brother went to and I’d have been miserably unhappy and flunked out within the year.  I’m not cut out for engineering.

      As for my own kids, they have to pay their own way, so it’s their choice where they want to go.  One daughter quit college after throwing away a lot of money on one semester.  One daughter chose a two year tech school, graduated, got a good job and will probably go on to become a CPA someday.

      Tulip




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kmarie wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • As a teenager I would have said my choice. Instead I am going to say it depends on the child. I was unsuare of what I wanted to do, I selected schools based upon ;ocation or proximity to my interst outside of school. My Mother made the better choice for me. I was mad at first but in hindsight I acknowledge and I am very glad for her help.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • Our son is still undecided about a community college versus a technical school, so we are patiently waiting for that answer..luckily, he has a full time job right now, but will not be his future profession.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • I will have to disagree that it should be up to the child.

      At 18 they don’t know what’s good for them, and all they want to do is attend college that’s “a party school“, and the colleges that’s considered non partying type is of no interest to them.

      In our case, we are paying for college and we are making the choice for her, but even if we didn’t, I still hope that we would have a say as to what makes sense in the long run.

      The 18/24 rule (you turn 18 and you have 24 hrs to get out of the house and live your life) doesn’t work in our house. At 45 my mom still tells me what to do sometimesestatic and most of the time I listen, I sincerely hope that my kids will do the same.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • Do you know Alice has never been any trouble and is very obedient  but this was one battle we were never going to win – but having said that she wanted to be a retailer and she is and she learnt on the shop floor but she also went to the Retail Academy and has qualifications .So all was well but that was a big fight  & I wanted her to be a vet !




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stacey Clark wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • I agree with you Yana!  Our boys have the choice to choose their career but the college is up to my husband and I.  Since I work for the University of Phoenix my kids will recieve 80% off of the cost so guess where they will be going?  Now that the student loans are being taken over by the government my kids will not be taking out student loans and won’t have to because their tuition is covered at 80%.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      LuAnn Venden wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • Every day, I see students whose parents have forced them to be in school (just in general, let alone at a specific place) and who are throwing away their tuition money with their lack of discipline and focus, so I have to admit I am a bit biased on this point.

      This decision is coming up for me soon—what I’m sincerely hoping is that I’ll be able to dialogue with my son about a range of choices.  Attending college where I work will be cheaper...but I also feel he should have input and hope I can be reasonable.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • I would say that I would give my child the choice...I would rather they be happy in their studies than miserable...if problems do come up then I would put on my mother’s hat and nag nag nag...estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • I’m with Yana on this... to a point... my parents refused to let me go away to school... I had to commute... I chose the school but it had to be with me living at home... I almost flunked out ... but got my act together and ended up doing well...

      My son on the other hand... was allowed to go away and he flunked out miserably after 1 year... and he was an honors student and on a partial scholarship...

      I think ultimately it depends on the child... and I think the decision should be a joint decision... based on money and the choices at hand... the school my son chose was far too big for him coming from a small high school... he totally got lost in the hugeness (is that even a word?) and no one really cared... he stayed in his room for two weeks before his friends helped him... I wasn’t there and didn’t know until it was too late to help him get on his feet academically... I encouraged him to pick the school because of the education it offered... but we should have looked at the big picture before deciding...

      My point is... I’m not sure there is a pat answer to the question... parents and kids alike can chose a school for the wrong reasons or not look at everything they should.

      I think it’s important for both to have input.




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