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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

What would you do if you were swept off your feet for the first time in over a decade-he said all the right things for a month, he knew you had not been intimate for years-he seemed good to be true but friends all said LET YOUR GUARD DOWN, it TIME! You did, he spent the night and you never heard from him again-prior he called daily. Would you let it go or call and ask why?

He also insisted on spending the entire night-he had the opportunity to leave he said he did not want the night to end he kissed me good-bye and said see you soon I really enjoyed myself! He is fine if you may wonder if he got in an accident a friend saw him recently in a bar.

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Best Answer

I say, don’t call.  Cry if you need to, but you really don’t!  Look on the bright side....you had the sex that you didnt have in a long while, you enjoyed yourself, and your a grown woman who CAN do that at your descretion, be it first date, 20th or whenever it feels ok for you to do that.  It’s nobody eles place to say that you shouldn’t have.  You know what you did and that’s that.  Move on and if you see him again (don’t call) just be as sweet as can be...Hello, how are you? and then walk away!!!! heartheart


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote May 1, 2010
    • He would have had to say all the right things for more than a month for me to allow him to spend the night.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 1, 2010
    • Things happen sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up. I would call him and ask.
      Matter of fact.
      Plain and simple.
      Be prepared for the truth OR the truth wrapped in a bunch of RED FLAGS.
      Maybe he has some issues or insecurities or maybe he’s a jerk.

      Best of luck and I hope it is that he is just having some issues too.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 1, 2010
    • ps
      usually if it seems too good to be true
      well you know the answer...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Veggie wrote May 2, 2010
    • NO, I would not call and when (if) he does call, he better be ready to walk on not only hot stones but with fire shooting out of them.

      Still, you made your own decision, so it’s not all his fault.  Sometimes we absorb everything we want to hear and ignore important warning signs - we settle and hope.

      You made yourself vulnerable and that’s okay.  Like Msj said, Do NOT beat yourself up!

      We (women) take on way too much guilt.

      Sometimes, after being alone for so long, we make decisions that may or may not pan out to what our mind and hearts want.  Been there done that.

      Try getting involved in more things with women.  Look at what you like to do and see if there are groups (I’m sure there are) for you to enjoy, develop a support system of women.  It may not meet your loneliness issue but it sure will keep you busy until the real Mr. Right comes along.

      “Men will pat you on the a##, women will kick you in the a**“.  Love that saying!

      Whatever the outcome regardless of the amount of time, we need to prepare ourselves and be okay with our decisions.

      No matter where you come from, what you do or don’t do, YOU are a BEAUTIFUL WOMEN that deserves the best in everything!

      Hang in there and you woe it to yourself to move on with honor and dignity.

      Jean




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Whitten wrote May 2, 2010
    • Women lead with their heart and guys lead with their @icks.

      Sometimes life does get in the way, give him the benefit of the doubt and call him. Ask him if he wants to go somewhere and if he turns you down, move on...
      I am sure your a beautiful person and there are plenty of fish in the sea.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote May 2, 2010
    • I agree with all of the wonderful advice above. I think that it is important to not beat yourself up about it. Now you know his true colors and it is his loss!You are a beautiful woman who deserves a wonderful relationship!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote May 2, 2010
    • I know you’ve heard the song “EVERYBODY PLAYS THE FOOL SOMETIMES” we’ve all been there done that! Don’t beat yourself up about this, but again I don’t think I would have allowed him to spend a night on our first meet either, but this should be a lesson learned. Let it go, and move on he is a player, he was looking for sex and that was it!!!! Nothing more and for a friend to see him out at a bar recently? I guess he’s looking for his next victim. He is trying to satisfy his sexual urges and maybe you didn’t do it for him so he is on the lookout for someone else to do so, girl move on and be much more careful and cautious from here on out!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 2, 2010
    • There are some men who should come with a "Health Warning" stamped on their forehead
      They love the idea of falling in love and the glow it brings and then they leave
      It's nothing to do with you

       It's him.
      I bet good money if you wrote this story in the local paper and posted his picture 10 women would rock up and say "he did the same to me" .......
      My advice you have the buzz and the glow from that encounter keep it and get back out enjoying yourself




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote May 2, 2010
    • Funny that I am reading this today as last night I saw someone who did the same thing to me many, many years ago. I decided to call, he did not answer I went to his home and only to discover that it was a open lot...lol. I was so hurt. But guess what the one time I decided to do it right I got the man that I wanted and we are married for 11 years with 2 amazing kids. I prayed to God and told Him the type of person I wanted. Believe it or not He did just that.

      This person that I saw was looking so sad and  fragile. I could bet that he was so sorry for what he did to me as I saw the longing look he had in those painful eyes.

      Pick yourself up and pray. God will come through for you. He did for me and many others.
      heartheartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote May 2, 2010
    • You know, don’t be so hard on yourself. I would just chalk it up to lesson learned.
      You live and learn.
      Besides if you don’t take the chance how will you ever know?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote May 2, 2010
    • ditto to all the above!!
      heartheartheartheart

      The question i know some want to know is....
      Was he even any good?

      His loss!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote May 2, 2010
    • I say, don’t call.  Cry if you need to, but you really don’t!  Look on the bright side....you had the sex that you didnt have in a long while, you enjoyed yourself, and your a grown woman who CAN do that at your descretion, be it first date, 20th or whenever it feels ok for you to do that.  It’s nobody eles place to say that you shouldn’t have.  You know what you did and that’s that.  Move on and if you see him again (don’t call) just be as sweet as can be...Hello, how are you? and then walk away!!!! heartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote May 3, 2010
    • Mztracy YES it was GREAT-both all night and in the morning! He even said he wished we could spend then entire day together! So it does NOT make sense.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 13, 2010
    • Termagsea, I ordered the book from Amazon! I read the content list and decided I could really use the book, being new to dating again. Thanks for sharing!  

      And Anonymous... I don’t know exactly what happened, but maybe the guy is just into wooing women for the conquest? I say, Don’t call and move on. Not all men are jerks

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nita P wrote Jan 26, 2012
    • he was leading u on.




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