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Do you ever wish you never had children or were a mother? Have you ever felt like your natural mothering instinct has gone or you have lost that mothering feeling?
Hmmmm. Doesn’t every sane woman every now and then want to run screaming for the door?
I know I do/did on occasion experience “wanting to get out from under it all” kinds of feelings, but they passed and I am glad that I invested so much of myself and my time into my children.
As far as the hormone thing, the closest I have come to experiencing that was my pregnancy with my 5th child. High AFP levels in my blood, baby may have spina bifida, sonogram, amniocentesis, spina bifida ruled out, baby may have kidney disease, will only live 2-3 days after birth, termination is an option (well, it WAS NOT an option to me!) etc.etc.etc. thru out the whole pregnancy until about 37 wks, my ob/gyn finally says, I think things will be ok. Long story short, we had a bouncing baby girl, perfectly formed,perfectly healthy. But I had a difficult time nursing her, not physically, but emotionally. I did not want to cuddle with her. Left her with a sitter frequently. In retrospect, I took good care of her physically, but emotionally I was detached. So much so that my husband was concerned and he, good man that he is, took up the slack and spent a lot of time with the baby. I eventually, 6-7 mos after her birth, got over it and now I have this amazing 20 yr old daughter who is so talented and wonderful, it makes me cry sometimes.
I learned years later from a midwife, that women who have difficult pregnancies sometimes do not allow themselves to love their child because they may lose the child. It is a subconscious reflexive action to protect one from more hurt. Made sense to me, so I always share my experience with pregnant women who are struggling. Just let them know it is ok, things will work out, to be patient with themselves. And the baby is always worth it.