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Q & A

I’m throwing out a question to all of the Fab 40 Ladies. I talked to my so to be ex husband yesterday and he wants us to meet tomorrow to have a casual conversation. My question is if you had a chance to ask you ex-husband anything what would it be?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 3, 2010
    • Hints: He’s Narcissistic and a Pathologic lier. He told me that he loved me and wants us to be together. To me it sounds like a pity party for himself even thou he cheated on me and lie to me for 17 years.
      How does one have a “casual conversation” when every word that comes out of his mouth could be or will be a lie.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote May 3, 2010
    • Hmmmm....after reading your reply why even go meet him for a casual conversation.  I think you summed it up pretty good.  You know he cheated, lied, etc.  So, what’s the point?  Just saying........




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 3, 2010
    • I think he wants to stir the pot and to tell you the truth I think I would like the opportunity to stir it too. I’ve alway wanted to know why people do the things that they do. What make you tick. I have figured this man out, it just so fascinating to me why he does what he does.
      I don’t love him anymore I just like to get in his head.

      You know what Angelcart maybe after five minutes of his BS I will just leave. People like him intrigue me. Maybe I’m as crazy as he is????ohhhh




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 3, 2010
    • Denise I’m with Angel here. Sounds as if he is unable to tell the truth so asking him a question would likely be just another lie. I’d have the casual conversation out of courtesy since things aren’t totally settled it seems but take everything he says with a grain of salt and put most of it out of your mind after the meeting is over.

      when all is settled you can close that chapter of your life and move forward to much better things!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 3, 2010
    • Thanks Cynthia that what I plan to do. Just more dirt for the lawyers. Believe me it is just out of courtesy nothing more.

      I would just like to here from all of the ladies who didn’t have the chance to say their one last thing.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kathryn O'Hara wrote May 3, 2010
    • I haven’t been divorced and my husband has never cheated on me, so I can’t address that.  But from a healthy living standpoint, I am with Angel on this one.  Why waste a moment of your precious life/time on a man who has treated you miserably?  Actions always speak louder than words, and his actions have proved he cared very little for you.  And if you meet with him, by your actions you show that you are still,for some reason,flirting with his bullsh*t.  Even if you think you aren’t.  

      He ain’t worth the time.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 3, 2010
    • Honey - I’m sure you have covered everything over 17 years so my view is forward not backwards and if it’s a pity party then let him stew alone and you go and have some fun ....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote May 3, 2010
    • I’m with the other two ladies, WHY????? put yourself through the trouble of meeting with a path-liar? You have had your time with him and he chose to cheat there is nothing else to talk about chances are he just wants to see if you’ve moved on and has someone special in your life which isn’t any of his business if it were me I’d tell him that we have no need to met and go on and do and be you! He just wants to get inside your head to see if he still has the upper hand on YOU!!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote May 3, 2010
    • I wouldn’t even bother meeting him. If you know hes going to lie and other things you say, It would just be a waist of your time and his. You could be doing other things that you actually enjoy.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Veggie wrote May 3, 2010
    • Don’t waist your time.  Go do something positive for yourself.

      Jean




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote May 3, 2010
    • You might want to meet him just to play along for the sake of getting a little more cooperation til the legal issues are settled.  But you should keep your boundaries strong.  Don’t take any action based on what he says.  Don’t change any decisions you’ve made up to this point, or anything you are doing to settle the matter.  Just let his words go in one ear and out the other.

      Can you be that strong in his presence?  If so, then no harm.  And it could pay off in getting more of what you want out of the dissolution of the marriage.

      Now, mind you I’ve not been through a divorce, so I don’t know if it’s possible to be civil and completely disconnected in this situation.  You be your own judge on that.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Cappelletti wrote May 3, 2010
    • I wouldn’t give him the time of day!!!  What could he possibly have to say that would make any difference.
      keep moving forward and don’t look back.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Paris Mano wrote May 3, 2010
    • Agree with Angel and others that say why bother. Nothing good can come out of it and to me if he is a liar it is just a part of one last time to abuse you! I am talking from personal experience.  

      Move on.....the best thing is to act like you could care less. After all, one last casual meeting is not going to make a difference in your settlement.

      Be happy and be you again!! Life is too short to waste on men like him. tongue out




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 3, 2010
    • I wouldn’t do it! You have absolutely nothing to gain by meeting him. Why would you want to anyways???????

      If it couldn’t be said while you were married then it shouldn’t be said now IMHO!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote May 3, 2010
    • There was nothing I wanted to say to my ex at any time, as he was always high, he would never listen or forget as soon as I said anything, so I would not waste my valuable time or breath on him.  Though I have been married for 3 years to a man who listens to every word I say, to this day, my ex does not know I have remarried. That gives me greater pleasure that I am happily remarried and he cannot even get a date.  Denise....I have met you and you are fabulous, so you do what you feel you need to for closure.  One lesson I learnt was always know the answer before you ask the question....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote May 3, 2010
    • Denise, what did you tell me?  Why?  LOL  remember our chat at the car???  You asked me Why?  estatic

      I am certainly, no one to talk, by the way....lol  heartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 3, 2010
    • Ladies thank you for the advice I’m glad to know that you have my back. There are many different reasons why I want to go. One of them is my girlfriend, she works with him so I need some information for her, only because he lies to her and the rest of his employees.  

      Have you ever want to get into somebody’s face so bad that it makes you crazy?  

       Tamra is right on target with this one. I can take myself out of the situation both emotionally  and physically. I am a very strong person and I really didn’t know it completely until I moved out. Which scares him to death, I can get into his head without him even knowing it.  

      This meeting is purely selfish on my part. I want to make him squirm. I guess I’m a little controlling and I want him to know that whatever he says to me will go in one ear and out the other.  

      I have to make him anger to get this divorce to move, I think that is the real reason why I want to go because I just want him out of my life.  He’s pulled this bullsh*t on me for seven months and the only reason were still married is because he hasn’t done anything about it. I have a motion already with the Judge in this matter. I just need to kick his as* to move it along.  

      Most people don’t get me because I can look outside the box and see what’s really going on and believe me I do understand what you ladies have been saying and what you have been saying is right I shouldn’t waste my time. But I can’t move forward until this divorce is done.  

      Thank you again for all of your support.estaticheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 3, 2010
    • Don’t go.  I agree with Frannie 100%




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote May 3, 2010
    • Your question was:  

      My question is if you had a chance to ask you ex-husband anything what would it be?  

      Nothing, the day I decided to call it quits was it for me. I had kids with my first 2 exes but they were deadbeat dads so they are basically dead to me. I have no use for them in my life in any way, shape or form.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 4, 2010
    • That’s one of the question I had already plan to ask him.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote May 4, 2010
    • Your lawyers should have your back.  Tell them you want to go to trial and to get a date asap.  No messing around, they just try to bill you as many hours as they can squeeze out of you. Your husband has no choice, he will have to get what is expected from him.  Judges here are pretty tough, no crap.  As it is a community property state.  That was my biggest lesson I learnt, 2 years and $50.000 in legal bills just for a divorce.  They saw me coming. I know where you are coming from Denise, do what you need to.  As long as you do not get angry or raise your voice, keep control of the situation, you will be head of the game.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 4, 2010
    • My lawyer has my back she has sent in a motion to the judge all ready because he’s taking his sweet time about the whole thing. The motion should be already in the Judges hands my lawyer said the date for court should be sometime in June. The problem is that he has 17 property in his name only  he lie about that because I looked on the NV assessors website and it states that there either in his companies names or “sole proprietor” and this property  in HB is in both our names that’s why I’m here.  NV law is similar to CA so still regardless of where these property are at, there’s no pre nup.  

      What he’s really scared of is with no pre nup I have the right for half of everything he has that why he doesn’t what this divorce it not about love because I don’t think he capable of it,  it’s about money which he doesn’t want to part with.  

      Don’t worry I won’t get angry but when I do I become very calm and speak in a clear soft voice. I alway have control the situation and that what anger him even more.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote May 4, 2010
    • I am with everyone on this one...why waste your time on someone you know is going to feed you nothing but bull?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote May 4, 2010
    • Good one Term!happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote May 4, 2010
    • Term, two points!

      Good luck Denise.  I express my anger a lot like you.  I tense up and maintain control of my words and the volume of my voice.  It usually drives other people crazy when they really want a full blown fight.  Maybe a manifestation of my passive-aggressive side, but it seems to work for me.

      Go string him along and finish him off with a swift kick in the butt, I say!!  It will probably pay off in the courtroom!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote May 4, 2010
    • Good luck Denise.

      It is usually about money and property they try and hide




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 4, 2010
    • Well, I just got back and he was like talking to a friend that you haven’t seen in a while. We talked about our kids and our dogs. Which is what I expected. Not much news that I didn’t already knew because of my spy at his company. He will be spending the rest of the week at here so will see when the sparks start flying.

      I just want to Thank everyone for there love and support.heart




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