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My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year now and live together. He has a married woman friend he went to school with and just met again thru a part time job. They goto the gym together once a week, with her mom supposedly, and he regularly attends school functions for her daughters and babysits her kids. I know opposite sex friends CAN just be friends, since I know men I am good friends with and nothing more, but I don’t spend that kind of time with them or their families... Am I wrong to be upset about this?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 18, 2010
    • No!
      Is there any reason why you can’t spontaneously join them while working out? I would figure out a way to make it happen! Also the babysitting thing..... have him do it in your home so YOU can be involved with his activities too.

      And where is the married womans hubz?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote May 18, 2010
    • If its out of character for him to be doing all these “favors” then I would say something is up!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote May 18, 2010
    • I agree w/ Vikki.  If they are just friends and he considers her nothing more than just a friend, YOU should be able to join them and it should be wanted by both he and his ‘friend‘.

      I would speak up and let him know that this bothers you and tell him that he need to include you at all times with her.

      Go to the gym with him so you can be a participant as well!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 18, 2010
    • I HAD a boyfriend who had a "friend" who babysat each others kids, she was his best friend... they did movies etc... well, he asked me to marry him I said Im not ready yet
      YEP  

      THEY ARE NOW ENGAGED (ONE month after I broke up with him)
      be careful and TRUST your instincts
      luckily I made the right decision.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote May 18, 2010
    • I agree with Vikkie and Cristina.  If I was in the same boat, If my husband said no to me joining in, then I am afraid he would not be able to do any of these things for another woman, as something must be up.  All of my friends are now my husband’s friends and visa versa.  At this time my husband is now really good friends with a Lesbian and he will even go out with her to gay clubs. I have no fears at all, as I know none of those women will even find him attractive. He is having a great time




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Cappelletti wrote May 18, 2010
    • I am with Vikki, Cristina and Kris,  Join them for some of the activities and enjoy the kids with him.  there are people who are simply friends with someone of the opposite sex.  My brother just got married and had dual best men. His best guy friend and his best girl friend.

      Good luck,
      Dana




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lynn Mendoza wrote May 18, 2010
    • Sorry but there is no way that a man and a woman can be just friends...especially if they are spending that much time together.  There is ALWAYS going to be one that is more interested in just being friends. Usually the man,because that is their make up.  It just doesn’t work!
      Don’t be naive!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Maryann Rhodey wrote May 18, 2010
    • All the women here have some really good advice.  Go with your gut feeling, just as Kitakazoo said.  You need to trust your instincts, you are more times than not going to be right!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote May 18, 2010
    • Good answer Maryann.  I have had a best male friend for nearly 20 years, we have never been attracted to each other ever. Both our spouses came on the scene in our lives only in the last 5 years.  If we were attracted to each other, then that is a different story. I certainly can have friends of the opposite sex. Another one of my male friends gave me away at my wedding, he even thought my husband would be perfect for me, little did he know we had already started dating.....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote May 18, 2010
    • I’m just wondering where Is this lady friend’s Hubby? How does he feel about his wife having a male friend this close to her and working out at the gym with her. Is he away or does he live out of town?  

      I agree with all the ladies above, they have good advice.happy

      i wouldn’t mind my hubby having female friends as long as I am thier friend also and vise versa. I’m thinking you need to have a talk with him and maybe her also.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote May 18, 2010
    • I with all of the ladies on this one, red flags, gut feelings, there’s something up and you have to find out what that is.  

      After you have talked to him about the subject notice his body language towards you was it different now then it was before he meet the “best friend“. With guy they will say one thing and they‘re body will say something complete something else.  

      Keep you eye and your ears open.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote May 18, 2010
    • First, next time he baby-sits, have her bring her kids to your house.

      Second, go to the gym with them.

      Third, was his past with her just friends or in a relationship?

      Fourth, red flags are all over this one!

      Fifth, where is her hubby in all of this?

      Good luck! heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote May 18, 2010
    • I agree with all the ladies but was just wondering if when you met this guy if he had already had this type of relationship with this woman.  If he did, I am assuming that you thought he would have curtailed it once you got on the scene.  I must tell you men donot change, they are what they are when you met them, hoping things will change is not guaranteed.  Enjoy the weekend get-away to the fullest and re-evaluate things at the end of it all. SECURE YOUR HAPPINESS.  Only you can do it, rooting for you, your gut will not lead you wrong.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote May 18, 2010
    • Well, if he’s too tired then he needs to stop hanging out and babysitting etc.

      I have to say this, you need to talk to him directly about this and he needs to make some changes to ‘their’ schedule.

      You are not married and only been together for almost a year, this should not be happening. Seems to me you are being taken for granted.

      Does he want kids? This may be time to re-evaluate the entire relationship!!
      heartheartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote May 18, 2010
    • What Tracy just said and everyone else too, great advice, follow your gut instinct...let us know how it goes, and we are here for you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Paris Mano wrote May 19, 2010
    • I agree with the ladies.
      Like Tracy said if he is too tired he should not be babysitting. Seems as though she got along fine before he came on the scene.  

      I smell a RAT!!!

      You need to build your self esteem up and realize that you don’t have to accept this type of behavior. Don’t be afraid that you won’t find someone else because you will. But don’t waste your life on someone like this.

      Sorry this is happening to you. You seem like a wonderful lady. Be good to yourself!heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kmarie wrote May 19, 2010
    • My Godparents when we were children had a similar situation. She started to join in and become friends with the woman too. They have now been married over 50 years.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 19, 2010
    • I have seen on rare occasions situations like this work out. My best friend was a man now his WIFE is my BF and the FOUR of us (2 of them and me and my beau)go out together. My friend told his wife or GF at the time he met her that he had a friend (me) and brought her to meet me .... she sais that at first she thought,"yeah right" but she and I hit it off right away- that was 15 years ago. We are still best friends ( the wife and me ) LOLheartestatic

      the difference with my ex and his "friend" the girl was in love with him... they had an odd friendship as ppl on here said toooo many red flags... too many outings etc... and he would tell me "She is not ready to meet you yet" after 4 months of dating me! I had met his other friends hmmm..... anway...
      Just too add to my above post....
      SOME times it can work out but WATCH closely and guard your heart.heart




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