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Hey there fabulous ladies...here’s my question: My boss’s dad passed away this week. Do you think I have an obligation to attend the wake? If I don’t should I be judged in any particular way? I would prefer not to attend because I didn’t know her dad and I feel that a wake/funeral is  very personal and for those who knew the person that passed on to pay their last respects. What do you think?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 20, 2010
    • What about pre empting and sending a card and flowers and I agree about funerals and wakes being friends and family known to the deceased.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell Villafañe wrote May 20, 2010
    • Vicki I did send a card and we all pitched in and bought her a fruit and muffin basket to be delivered to her home. However I seem to be the only one in my department not going. They feel an obligation to go just because she is our boss.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 20, 2010
    • I agree with Vicki and yet it would definitely make a person feel uncomfortable to be the only one in a department not attending. I would probably go if I was in this situation even if I didn’t feel like it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote May 20, 2010
    • I think what you have done is more than enough and should be accepted as well as respected.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Paris Mano wrote May 20, 2010
    • I would send a card also. I would not let the others in your department going affect my feelings. If I did not want to go, I wouldn’t. Don’t feel obligated.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jewelrybyirina wrote May 20, 2010
    • I agree with everybody.  If she (your boss) was your friend, that’s another story.  Don’t feel obligated!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote May 20, 2010
    • I, personally, think you should go to pay respect, not because you knew or didn’t know her father, but because you work with her.

      Of course, sending a card is sufficient, but imaging how she/he might feel when she/he sees you there offering your support during this trying time.

      I would welcome it and I would do it!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote May 20, 2010
    • I agree Neicyheartheartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maryann Rhodey wrote May 21, 2010
    • I agree with Cristina.  To show your support of your boss and to be a sense of support for her.  There were many at my moms funeral who didn’t know my mom but were there because they knew my sister, brother or myself.  It really means a lot to people who are grieving that there are people thinking of them.  However, I am someone who doesn’t like going to funerals at all.  I have always hated them.  You don’t have to go if you really feel adverse to the situation.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell Villafañe wrote May 21, 2010
    • Well the wake was tonight and I have chosen to not attend. I followed my heart on this because I do feel strongly about not attending if I do not know the deceased...and I am not close to my boss. I gave her my condolences with the card and the basket and hope that will suffice.  

      Another problem I am having with this is that my boss is not well liked in the office and the people who have the problems with her are actually attending the wake. They give her a hard way to go everyday and are rude and disrespectful to her but then have the nerve to go to her father’s wake and put on sad faces like they really care...I don’t like the phoniness of it at all. Then when it is all over and she comes back to the office they will go back to being nasty to her again. It’s just not right and I find it to be so hypocritcal....IMHO.




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