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Q & A

Any step parents out there? And, how’s your relationship step kids?
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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 26, 2010
    • I meant to say “with the” stepkids. I have a 29 year old stepdaughter and a nearly 5 year old step granddaughter. They both live in our cottage. She always says she loves me and treats me with respect but she’s quite honestly the most lazy, self absorbed, sloppy and irresponsible person I think I’ve ever met. And it’s usually a sure bet that when she opens her mouth - a lie comes out. Makes it really hard to love her. Having a precious child in the mix complicates things. We’ve issued an ultimatum and it was looking like she was getting on the straight and narrow but lately she’s slipping and we may have to make the heart wrenching decision to kick her out.

      Anyone else dealing with a difficult step parenting situation?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 26, 2010
    • My step-daughter was like a daughter to me while she was living around here.  I love her as one of my own and she has always treated me lovingly and respectfully.  

      BUT, since she’s moved out of state, whenever she calls or comes to visit, it’s all about Daddy.  And I love my husband, but frankly he wasn’t that great a parent and she just worships the ground he walks on.  Makes me gag the way she goes on.  She leaves messages on his facebook page “I miss you“.  Oh puleeeezzze!!!!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote May 26, 2010
    • I’ve been there (and still am) so it’s probably best I keep my big mouth shut.  LOL  But.......I have to say, when we got back from vacation the grass was cut, all my plants/veggies were doing well and the house was clean.  About time!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote May 26, 2010
    • PS - Tuliplady I can so relate to what you said!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 26, 2010
    • I have a step son and I treat or mistreat him just like my girls. He’s been mine since he was 4yrs old so he has no choice really. I do not however and have never had him call me mom. I feel that his mother has earned that title and should be the only one.
      And yes I do get frustrated with him. Like right now he only works about 30 hrs a week and hibernates in his room the rest of the time. He will do anything that I ask but I have to ask. He will be 21 soon and I feel should be in school or working 2 jobs.

      But I have the same frustrations with my soon to be 21 yr old daughter who lives in MI. But because she doesn’t live with me I can’t yell too much.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracy Lynn Brown wrote May 26, 2010
    • My husband has twins, boy and girl. and at best it has been a very stressful relationship for us. Now we have little or no contact with the kids.
      The mother has allways been lazy, wont cook, keeps a horrible house, and would rather be with her boytoys than the kids. And his daughter is like that too. His son i think trys but in a house with those two females, he dont have much of a chance.
      The kids spend most of their time, and pratically have been raised by grandparents. don pays support but, the court system is flawed when it comes to men.
      We dont see them, his daughter hates me, i have tried with her many, many times to be treated horried and called every name in the book.
      They will be 18 july,31, 2011. We honestly have given up, its my husbands decision not mine. He doesnt want to deal with the drama. I feel for you, Im still dealing with my kids, and when theirs grandchildren involved it gets even harder.
      But i think that in the end if you dont back up your decisions, then they find out they can push the issue, you lose what little control you have.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 26, 2010
    • Tracy, I’m glad at least your husband is on the same page with you. I’m sorry you have a difficult step parenting scenario, too. It’s hard, isn’t it? But I’m glad he is with you on this and not just allowing the girls to treat you badly with no consequences. I was in a relationship before where the dad allowed the kids to treat me any way they wanted, enabled them and just made me a second class citizen in my own home. I left him in part because of that.

      Let’s hope it gets better for both of us!estaticheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote May 27, 2010
    • Uggghhhhh......I knew i coulnd’t keep my big fat mouth shut!  When we married my stepdaughter was 14.  I did everything to get along with her.  I would take her to Starbucks everyday, take her lunch when she had crew on Saturdays, etc.  She never talked to me much at all.  I would complain to my husband and he took her side!tongue out  Finally I quit doing for her.  She walks in the house and ignores me, won’t even say hello.  She’s now 20 and STILL does that.  I could go on and on but I guess I better stop.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      KRIS JULIN wrote May 27, 2010
    • Angelcart... I am thrilled your step son did his bit when you were away.  Did he look into his future?  

      Being my stepchildren and grandchildren are in Australia, I have never met them.

      My husband really does not want much to do with them, they are 29 and 27 and treat him terribly.  Which is a shame, as he left their mother when he found her in bed with his friend. They do not know that.

      He treats my son as his own son, if I did not know they were not biological, I would swear they were

      So I cannot relate.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brynn08 wrote Oct 15, 2010
    • I am the fiancĂ© of  a loving caring man, who has four kids two that are 6 & 7 adopted and two that are (15 and 18 years old) biological and out of control!worried  I have two children ages 19 and 21 both in college fulltime and a grandbaby who currently live with me, they have turned out to be pretty good kids, I am very proud of them to say the least.happyheart

      However, the closer we get to our wedding date the more terrified I become of his older two kids and who he gives way to much leniency to.  He wants more and better for his kids, but his ways do not seem to be working and I do not believe he is willing to put his foot down and give the deserved "tough love" they need.

      Please send me your advice.




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