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How often do you visit the grave site for your deceased loved ones?
When my grandpa died, I was there few times a week. Now that I live two hours away, I only visit when I’m in LA, but at least once every two month.
At least one person in our family, goes and does the graves, both here and in kentucky, memorial weekend. Right now its my mom and uncle, but soon it will have to be me. Its a ritual for us. We dont forget our loved ones, and im proud of my family for that.
I so don’t like to do it, but sometimes I do. I find it hard to do.
Rarely. I stopped at the cemetery where my son is buried this spring for the first time in many, many years.
I am a Christian and I firmly believe it’s just rotting bones in the ground, the part that makes us who we are is no longer there, so why visit the grave? That’s just always been my philosophy.
I do go with my mom once a year to put flowers on the graves of my grandparents and her grandparents and her beloved bachelor uncles.
Tulip
only when I’m at the cemetary for another funereal. I figure, I was there when they were alive, that’s what matters. Now, they remain in my heart and head. And it’s too darn hard to visit my sister’s grave and my grandmother’s. I wouldn’t visit my father’s mother if someone paid me.
My paternal grandfather-nice man, but I was 6. My maternal grandfather-only again, if I were there for a reason.
Was closest to my maternal grandmother-named our daughter after her.
I wish I could visit my Father’s More often. I Visit Him everyday in spirit though. I Love my Father even with no memories of Him. He served 18 and half years in the Army and passed away when I was just three years old. I always hold Him in a spacial place in my heart and spirit. He has been my shining light through have expereinced throughb my life’s journey. He is the only one i have a positive feeling about in my family.
So today I celebrate HIM with joy and delight and great appreciation for serving our Country and for being my Father
I stopped going it was just too stressful and painful.
"As you open the door to new relationships and remove the chain from your own fears, God will overwhelm you with new splendor."
Would love to share Him with you all.
I too am a Veteran ... So I celebrate me as well
I only visit my parents on their birthdays but not consistently. I don’t feel they are there - when I was 5 my greatgrandma died. My mother told me her body was a shoebox and inside of that box were a soul and spirit - like a pair of shoes. The shoebox stays but the shoes move on. I feel them with me each day in my daily walk.
With my son’s death still fresh (barely 7 months), I visited the site often and I am glad it is really close. I do know his spirit is with me, but I do like to visit the place where his reminds is located. Where there is a fountain, looking at the mountains ...he is cremated and is in the granite wall that you can see from here.
I have only been to my mom’s once after she passed away. And my dad is somewhere in Marshall, Illinois and I don’t think I could ever find it.
But I too believe the same as Tulip.....
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I have not been to any of my families gravesites because they are up North and I rarely go up there.
I do send flowers to my brother’s grave in the Veterean’s Cemetery.
My condolences, ChinaDoll & Tuliplady on the loss of a child.
I rarely visit the cemetery. My husband is actually the caretaker of the cemetery where my maternal grandparents and a couple of cousins are buried, but it is in an out of the way place. I agree with Tulip, I keep their memories close in my heart and prayers and I have pictures.
My mother passed away Dec. 28, 2009. I have not been back to the cemetary. My father is buried there as well. It’s a beautiful cemetary filled with hills, dogwoods, azaeleas, and very old tombstones. It backs up to the Augusta National Golf Course.
It does nothing for me to go there..so I don’t. But I am going up this weekend maybe to see where they engraved the marker with my mother’s dates. They also have a duck pond you can take kids to ...to feed the ducks.
I try to visit my mom and dad’s graves at least once a year but they are located far from where I live. This year, for my mom’s death anniversary, both of my siblings and I visited our mother’s grave and had dinner afterwards. It was very nice.
I used to go to my Grandparents but I stopped. I believe what tuliplady said.
I don’t visit. It was their requests to be buried. I would have rather had them cremated and the ashes either kept with me or scattered wherever they wished. When I want to remember them, I whip out a photograph and recall the ‘Kodak moment.’ I believe if your soul is free to roam after death, why would it stay around a rotting corpse?
Ten years ago I had twins that were stillborn. We are many states away, so I only visit the gravesite infrequently....maybe once every two years. I have a hard time visiting. They are buried in “baby row“. It’s full now, but early on it was difficult to see new headstones and think of all those lost babies.
I’m so sorry for those of you who have lost children! I cannot even begin to imagine the pain.
When I posted my response on this thread on June 10, 2010...I stated I had not been to my parent’s graves but was planning to that weekend. Well I never went...but....I did go yesterday afternoon and was not even planning on going. I just happened to be over on that side of town where the cemetary was and just drove in. This was the first time I had been to the graves since my mother died in December. So I went...looked at them...noted that the markers needed cleaning...(and I will go back to take care of that)...and left. What I do like about that cemetary is ...it’s beautiful! It’s on an hill...covered in beautiful old trees with azaleas, dogwoods...and pines. The keep the grounds immaculate and you can only put “real” flowers on the graves. No artificial stuff. It contains a small beautiful garden area with a bridge & stream...(great place for photos) and a duck pond where you can take your small children to feed the ducks. It’s peaceful there. It also backs up to the Augusta National Golf Course.....
I take care of my parent’s graves so I visit them weekly at summertime. And I visit them in some religious holidays.
Them both are cremated but buried as well. It seems that we have different customs in this matter. In thought I visit them every night saying ‘Good Night’ to them both.
Other graves I visit very rearly, them are so far away.
I think cemetaries are very peaceful and beautiful places, but visiting them isn’t mandatory to remembering our loved ones.
As a young child we went two or three times a year. Now I am in Georgia and most of them are buried in Texas, Lousiana or California. My Father and Mother choose cremation and there ashed scattered in the water. I visit the location where I scattered my Mother’s ashes every chance that I get. It is beautiful. I also have a picture of it for when I can not visit and I find a lot of comfort in the serenity of the picture.
I never go back to the graveside after the funeral. I strongly believe that the soul is not there so why would I go back. I too will pull out photos of my parents and other family members that have passed away, or watch old videos of them... I cry, I laugh, I get through it, but I simply refuse to go back and visit graves, because as a Christian I’ve learned “To be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord“. My loved ones are with the Lord now and not in a grave.
i use to regularly till i moved overseas. i believe the graveside is the decease home. so i go and chat to my folk when i visit the cemetary.
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