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My question is this, My son has fathered a baby by an ex, he is 2 yrs old. Hasnt met his father yet. My daughter in law has some issues, Jealousy, uncontrolled anger, bi polar, ect. ect. They keep telling me they are going to go for custody. The mother has contacted me and she loves her son. Whose side should i be on? My view is my side is my grandsons side, I want to look out for what is best for wyatt. And i beleive that is with his mom. And i wrong?
The child’s welfare is, in my opinion, always the best choice. If your daughter in law is not equipped to love that child and be a good step mom then I don’t think it would have positive results.
you really answered your own question there, and i happen to agree WITH you and with Cynthia..
Sounds to me like your son (who Wyatt doesn’t know) and your DIL don’t even know this child? And they want custody?
Why? Ego? Where has he been the last 2yrs?
If he want’s or wanted a relationship with this child, why hasn’t he attempted to build one up to this point? Only because he now has a female in his life? Sounds like he wants the glory of being a parent but how involved will he be? Will everything fall on the wife?
It reminds me of my own relationship but with Mike’s granddaughter. When we got together he started taking her ‘again’ and it was only because I was involved. Taking her to AC Moore on kid’s craft day, doing crafts with her here at home, taking her to the playground.... many times while he skipped out either for work or more than once I remember him going up to take a nap... we only had her most times a couple of hours!!
I put an end to it. It may sound cold, but I am not going to take over your responsibilities while you go around bragging “I had my granddaughter this weekend” when you didn’t. Sadly, he hasn’t seen her but a couple times a year for a couple of years now.
This child should be with his mother & if the father & wife think they want a relationship with him, they need to take the time to ‘build’ one. Ripping him from the only family he really knows would be traumatic for Wyatt.
Children are used way too much to feed the egos of adults. That’s one of the many reasons kids end up so screwed up. Sad.
Why would you want your grandson to leave his mother and live with a woman he doesn’t know and who is bi-polar?
Sounds like a recipe for abuse and disaster to me, your son’s wife will take out her unstable feelings on an innocent 2 yr old.
I also think you answered your own question, you realize he would be unhappy and that is why you are hesitant to support your son and his wife in this venture. Support the mother and your grandson. You may be blessed with a relationship with this toddler. Undoubtedly it will be a somewhat untraditional relationship, but it might be very rewarding for you.
I hope everything works out ok, and that you will be strong for the little guy. You are absolutely right, so trust your judgement!
Thanks everyone, and yeah that is exactly how i looked at it, an update. Talked to my son last nite, and he is probaly coming home. his wife is making his life hell. He wants to get to know wyatt, and his wife is making this an either or situation. None of this custody thing was coming from him. Thank God.
The stableness of a child is so important. I have seen first hand when there is no love and a tug of war goes on and trust me the only one get hurt is the child. Support the Mom and the relationship with her son and the only loving family home he knows. Encourage your son to develop a relationship a healthy one with no hidden agenda and in the end that child will be bless.
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