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Benefits
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Benefits
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Help here ladies. At the beginning of summer I invited my sister-in-law to a picnic at the springs as my mother-in-law was visiting and we were going. I told her 2 1/2 weeks in advance but she said the schedule for work was up and she could not make it. I told her well make sure to tell her son and his girlfriend can come (24 yrs). She said he will not come and when asked why she said he will not come without her. My hubbie called and invited him, he still did not come. I overlooked that invited them to another function still no show. She and her son went on a cruise and the week with Mother’s Weekend for 1 week. My husband went by her house last week to pick up something from another sister who is visiting town only there and then my sister-in-law gave him a bag for me she brought back from the cruise since May. This woman lives 10 minutes drive from us. We call her all the time (she never calls first) and she waite until my husband comes to her house to give him something for me? I am tired of reaching out. They only want my husband when is time to do something or give some money for something. He to is tired of it but our family is so small we want to keep the peace. I am tired of it. Am I unreasonable here or what?
This a very touchie subject. Being the in law you have to unfortunately wait for your husband to say something as the sibling. Not fair I know since your doing all the reaching out but it will only make matters worse if you say something.
Next time they need or want something be busy or apologize for not being able to lend them money right now but you’d be happy to help maybe in another way.It’s harder when the family is small and maybe unfortunately you might need to cut ties for awhile just until they understand family isn’t one sided. I’m sorry for yours and your husband’s pain on this. Just don’t let ungrateful family come between you two.
I experience similar situations with my husbands family. We invite his sister and her boyfriend to do things with us or to come to our house just to hang out and have dinner but they never want to oblige but the moment they need their car fixed they suddenly have the time to come for a visit (my husband is a mechanic). This aggravates my husband to no end but I told him he needs to just pull back and stop always making himself available when they need something. They are selfish and he needs to understand that. There is no changing how they are so he can’t get himself all worked up when they don’t want to do things with us. I have found in situations like this it is best to love them from a distance. There is only so much you can tolerate and so much of yourself you can give. It isn’t worth the headache of dealing with ungrateful family members who don’t reciprocate the time and love you give to them.
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