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is it ok for your boyfriend to comment on other girls who r “hot” in your presence or even directly to you? got any ideas on why mine does this (sometimes emphatically)? he is young , maybe its a new trend and if so, should i do the same? if i get angry about it he says i get jealous easily, but its not about jealousy( i know he’s not cheating), its about respect for each other. should i start doing it to him?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • My grandmother used to say we all have eyes so looking is one thing, and touching is another. But I say, if you start commenting on guys and he doesn’t like it, ask him how is it okay for him to do it in front of you and think you‘re cool with that? You say he’s young so perhaps he needs to be “schooled” in not revealing what he’s thinking to you regarding other women. You‘re not “one of the guys.”




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • It is about respect for you and I think having a boyfriend is not worth being disrespected by him. Try it out, talk to him and see how he feels about your feeling he doesn’t respect you. If he cares, he’ll explain it without telling you it’s your problem.  

      All my best to you,
      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nerissa wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • I agree, it is about showing respect for you.  My Mommy used to say “people can make their mouths say anything, but what they really think and feel show in what they do, their actions“.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • I use to be in the same situation.. My future ex to be is 9 yrs younger then me.. And he use to get mad when I looked at other guys and yes, I did tell him if he can do then why couldn’t I?
      I agree with Kyah, God gave us eyes to see but touching is another thing and yes it is disrespectful but if he wasn’t showing it to me then why show it to him and he knew it bother me he did try not to disrespect me..
      It got to the point where I wasn’t going to let it get to me.. You need to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel.. And again agree with Kyah, he probably does need to be “schooled” again and how to respect YOU..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • I share the sentiment here as well. A former long term boyfriend did this all the time, taught his boys to do the same and it’s clearly a display of disrespect for women in general. The ogling, the comments, the elbow nudges, the gestures - all of it very demeaning. Best to talk with him and find out why he feels the need to do this and let him know how uncomfortable it makes you feel.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • ditto Annie!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kathryn O'Hara wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • Yeah, maybe he just needs to be schooled, kind of like an over-exuberant puppy needs to be trained.  I think all men notice other women, but gentlemen keep their opinions to themselves. If you make it clear it is bad form to comment, and he continues doing it, well....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • Ditto to all above. If after you talk to him and he doesn’t change or gets upset when you talk to him maybe then he’s not the right one. First your respecting him by being honest and of he’s not willing to see or change this behavior then he’s not willing to respect you. Good luck




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • I so agree with you allheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Aug 8, 2010
    • It’s one thing to comment on someone’s beauty, but if he feels the need to mention every girl he thinks is “hot” with no concern for your feelings, that’s another.
      Sounds like he’s very immature and needs to learn that there is a time and place for everything.
      I agree that with looking, we can window shop, just can’t buy anything. However, there’s a respectful way of seeing beauty, he needs to learn the difference between “hot” and beauty.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Aug 9, 2010
    • i agree! i just had this conversation with some friends the other night.. we are all human, and will see ” beauty ” or a “handsome ” man everywhere.. its NOT ok to continually tell me over and over how “hot” someone is.. THATS disrespectfull! However to say that someone is pretty, im ok with that! lol did that make sence? lol




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Aug 9, 2010
    • I totally agree with everyone here it is down right disrepectful and just plan childish IMO. But I would address it with him again and tell him how you feel and put the shoe on your foot and let him see how it feel to do it to him, he’ll not like it trust me. Good luck!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Aug 9, 2010
    • I agree with all. Good luckestatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lesa Townsend wrote Aug 10, 2010
    • Men ARE going to look at women. It is part of their biological programming and as such is not something that any man, even one absolutely committed to the woman he loves, can stop.

      So, instead of fighting this notion, and then being upset when he does it when I’ve asked him not to, I accept it as part of who he is.

      When a beautiful woman walks by (or one with particularly impressive feminine features) I actually point her out to my man.  And then we can chat about what makes her interesting to him, or not interesting.  

      The coversations that have happened as a result of this tactic have been facinating.  Much of the time, it ends with comments about how I’m better than that woman for this reason or that reason.  

      If you allow yourself to get inside your man’s head (and not assume you know what is going on in there), you might be surprised at what you find—a deeper understanding of why he is with you, and why is is NOT with any of those random women he oogles.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Aug 13, 2010
    • That would drive me crazy




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