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My daughter has recently just finished chemo for lymphoma so we have had a roller coaster of emotional stress for over a year now. I have supported her and taken her to treatments and all appointments and looked after her and 5yr old duaghter. My problem is that she always seems to disappoint me when it comes to trust. I know she has a bit of a gambling problem and if I ask her to get me something in town and use my card she always spends more money on my card than she should. She gets upset if I suggest that she is wasteing money on gambling but I am sure she wouldn’t take my money for anything else. I am not going to give her my card anymore, she has blown my trust.
We have serious trust issues with my husband’s stepdaughter and we are sharing in the care of her 5 year old daughter with my husband’s ex wife so I completely understand. When my stepdaughter gets angry at us for not trusting her I gently and lovingly (ok, not all the time) remind her that the burden of trust is on her. The trust didn’t erode over night and won’t be repaired overnight either.
I forgot to mention, I’m very glad your daughter is recovering from her lymphoma. I know it must have been a terrible strain on a family.
You are right to set new boundaries given her violation of your trust. I hope in time, she will earn it back. You are providing much needed and valuable help to her at this time in her life. And you should be proud of yourself for being there for her. Hopefully she will have nothing but gratitude in her heart for the kindness you have already given her.
Ditto what Tamra says, but want to add... don’t trust her until she gets the value of losing your trust.
Cathie
You need to support her emotionally, but keep your money safely guarded. She can’t help herself and won’t be able to not take your money. What a difficult situation.
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