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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

If your 16 year old son was accused of raping a 16 year girl, he claims that it was consensual she says he forced himself on her, what would you do?  This is an incident that happened almost a year ago and since then the girl has been to your house many times.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Sep 28, 2010
    • This is posted anonymously due to the nature of the post.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Sep 28, 2010
    • I’d find my son a good lawyer. My opinion is she’s scared to admit to it being consensual. It may be out of fear of her parents reactions, but your son’s lawyer will zero in on this continued relationship with your son. She does come to your house, and unless your son
      is threatening her or her family if she doesn’t, it’s she doesn’t want her parents to know she is sexually active. I don’t think it a good idea they continue seeing each other.  

       Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote Sep 28, 2010
    • Has the girl brought official rape charges against your son?  What is her family saying about this...do they even know?  

      If there are official charges or there will be ...get a lawyer now to get legal advice about what she is alleging or if there is even a case here IF she was to press charges.  Until then this girl needs to stay away from your house and your son....what she is alleging is a powerful accusation..PLUS he has confessed that they did have sex consensually....How many times though and what has he been saying to the public-at-large about it?  

      There is always a reason why a young girl will threaten this...either it is true what he did OR they are using the information as manipulation to control or get back at your son. Could the event have been a one night stand and she thought there was more to their relationship?  

      Get the legal advice, protect your son if he needs protecting...but if he has stepped across a line and is using a girl/s for sex just because she/they are willing...nip it in the bud...this girl is getting back at him for some reason.  

      Consensual or not...something is wrong...a misunderstanding somewhere and it seems to be on the part of the young girl...maybe?  Your son may have misunderstood and thought she was consenting when she didn’t....I’ve been there...I was date raped too...never realized I was until 30 years later, while in counseling...bet the guy never thought so either...but he was in the moment and didn’t hear my “no” or “stop“...I left thinking it was my fault because I had consented to being on the date...I was there...I allowed things to a point...when they crossed the line and I said no or pushed back...he didn’t stop.  I believed it was my fault because I didn’t stop it from the beginning... I am sure he would say it was consensual if asked today....but it wasn’t after a certain point...then I was forced. This event changed my life and caused much damage and issues that I dealt with for years.  Please don’t easily blame the girl..there may be something here that is misunderstood.

      Could this have happened with your son?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Sep 28, 2010
    • Without knowing all the facts and playing devil advocate here...can you also bring up the same charges against the girl? She is still coming around so that there in itself is an issue I would have...I would try to get to the bottom of things but if my son was innocent I would do what I could to protect him.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Sep 28, 2010
    • I would wonder why she is showing up at your house???  A lawyer sounds crucial at this point.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Sep 29, 2010
    • I agree with Judy...I wouldn’t allow her in my house with those kinds of accusations. Why on earth is she still coming around? Definitely speak with a lawyer.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kathryn O'Hara wrote Sep 30, 2010
    • Definitely get an attorney!  And forbid the girl to step foot on your property.  Without knowing all of the details, it is important for you to make appropriate decisions on your sons’ behalf since he is still a minor.  Talk to his school counselor and explain the situation.  There can be confidentiality in that, but school admin needs to assist you in keeping the two of them separated on school property as well.

      It is possible your son took advantage of her and that needs to be addressed, but by the same token, she may be a troublemaker that is trying to get even for something.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Oct 1, 2010
    • Im sorry but I have to ask....Why in the world would you have ever let her into your house or around your son after a charge like that? You need to protect him and at 16 he cant do that for himself. If her parents know and still let her come over and around your son then there is something sooooo wrong in that family. Get to an attorney and get ur son away from her and your house.
      I cant imagine your worry or fear but yours isnt what matters its ur sons. Why would he want to be around her? Is this a case of I had sex.im embarassd so shell say something not understanding the fall out?
      I hope all goes well and wish u luck. Id even suggest taking your son to a therapist so there is no issues or fears later in life.




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