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asking this for a good friend.........what do you all think of a father and daughter not asking the older brother to step up and help with care, expenses, etc of the older mom. the parents are divorced.  the younger son is very resentful that the dad and sister will not ask the older brother to help. its sorta like enabling him to be the way he has always been. the younger brother is having alot of issues with them enabling his behavior....what do you think?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Oct 18, 2010
    • Is there maybe a something going on in the older brothers life that the younger brother doesnt know about? Are they growin adults? So, I was wondering is it possible for the ybrother to ask or suggest ti the obrother that he helps out?
      Barring that there isnt any reason the obrother cant help out and that the kids are older I cant for the life of me figure out why the obrother wouldnt want ti help and that the sister is ok with it. I think the ybrother should ask him to help and if he still wont then its on him. The ybrother will have to except this and know that he is there for his mom and let the resentment go for then hes not only helping with his sick mom but hes also making him sick and not living his life. And as far as the sister and dad let them do obrothers share.
      Thats if they are older but I have a completely different answer if kids are younger still in school.I hope they are older gives ybrother some say so in how he handles it.
      Im sorry for the flustration hes in but no matter what thats is his momheartheartheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Oct 19, 2010
    • What’s stopping the younger brother from talking to his older brother about their mother’s care?...is what comes to my mind. He can give it a try himself and see if his older brother is willing to step up and help out.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Oct 19, 2010
    • older brotherhas been informed and all he says is he feels bad they have to shoulder the load and does nothing.....

      older and younger brother DO NOT get along.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Oct 19, 2010
    • Ah, well.... then it sounds like the younger brother seems to think his father and sister have some kind of power to make the oldest brother step up. Far as I can see from the information you’ve given. I think it’s awesome the father has stepped up even though he and the mother are divorced.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Oct 19, 2010
    • honestly-my dh always hesitates in asking his older sister to help w/ their mom.  she has been the “albatross” on my husband’s neck since his dad died in ‘96.  SIL moved away b/c her 2nd dh told her-your parents or me/ds.  parents have always been a problem.  so we were stuck.  MIL has alienated EVERYONE here to the point where no one will tolerate her at T-giving.  She can’t come to other event get-togethers either.
      the 1st yr I had to guilt sil into taking her b/c dh never likes to confront anyone. I simply told her that we had her 24/7 and now if she didn’t take her mom for this holiday, it would be her fault that mommy dearest sat alone in her apt.
      she actually had the nerve to ask us to help her foot the bill!!! I pointed out to her that we had always been giving MIL more $ to live on than she was contributing and taxing her around and doing her marketing, errands, etc w/o ever once saying we needed her to kick in more.
      She relented and we make sure she makes the reservations early on so she can’t back out of this minor obligation.
      sometimes as much as I feel they should work it out-I’ll stick my nose in.




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