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Have you ever had to exercise tough love with anyone?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 22, 2010
    • I could write a book on this subject right now. It’s gutwrenching to have to do this with someone you care about. Just curious to know what others have been through.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Oct 22, 2010
    • Yes, and it is gut wrenching. It’s possible it could go either way and can’t know how it will turn out.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Oct 22, 2010
    • Absolutely Cynthia..with my oldest son who is 23. I have had to turn him away and send him to the mission to live because of his nasty attitude and disrespectful behavior with me. He can’t seem to get his life together by holding down a job and paying his bills then he always ends up homeless. It is not just his irresponsibility that bothers me but how rude and nasty he is to me most of the time. He holds alot of resentment toward his father for things from the past and takes it out on me. Well I have had to do the tough love thing with him. I just hope one day he wakes up and realizes his mother loves him and only wants whats best for him. Sleeping in a homeless shelter is not what I want for him but if it helps wake him up then so be it!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 22, 2010
    • That’s where my stepdaughter is right now. And she’s even acting out over there. I think she’s on the verge of being turned away by them. How on earth does one get kicked out of a homeless shelter? Unbelievable. We just have no answers any more on what to do other than turn her over to God, get out of the way and pray for a good outcome.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Oct 22, 2010
    • With my oldest, his Sr. year he decided he was going to drop out. So I reminded him of my policy, go to school or leave. He started walking out on me, so I told him to turn around and take his stuff with him as I was not about to support a dropout and have him be a bad example to his younger brothers. He was angry and left, came back after he cooled down and went ahead and finished school...he didn’t get to walk across the stage with his friends, but he had a smaller ceremony over the summer when he completed his credits. I was prepared to throw him out, but he was smart enough to realize he would have nowhere to go as we were the ones always taking in strays (his friends). He is now in attending college and doing it all on his own.




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      Kathryn O'Hara wrote Oct 23, 2010
    • I had the same type of situation with my son as well.  Only he did pack up and leave.  It was gut wrenching...that is the only word to describe it!  But I couldn’t take him back on his terms, that would have been disrespectful to the older kids who did follow the rules and set a bad precedent for his younger sister.  His dad and I decided that he would not be allowed back home unless he agreed to meet our family standards which he did not want to do.  He managed to pull it together sufficiently to graduate high school and then joined the Marines.  They grew him up damn fast and now he is a much more mature and appreciative young man.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kathryn O'Hara wrote Oct 23, 2010
    • Consider yourself hugged, Cynthia, you are in a hard spot.  But don’t compromise your personal standards or values to accomodate her.  Because she may not change and then you are left with nothing.  I hope everything works out ok, it is just such a hard thing, isn’t it?




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