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Q & A

Hello Ladies,

How do would you handle this: My hubby and I gather together with a certain circle of friend at least once a month for the sake of friendship. We have invite another couple into the circle only to find that that are freeloaders. They never bring anything to contribute to the gathering only what they want for themselves and they don’t share, they talk as if they are so higher and better than anyone in the group which I personally know different and they broke something of a friends at a gathering at their lake home when they told everyone there not to bother it because it needed some minor repairs but they disregarded what they said, broke it and didn’t offer to pay for it or at least off some funds towards repairs. Since they have NOT been invited to any other gathers but is always inquiring through me when and where will the next gathering be. Not knowing we still meet but they were just not invited. Should I be the one to tell them the reason or the people whom they offended? Let me also say they never offer to entertain in their home but want to go to everyone elses home, and they eat up the food and drinks without contributing so everyone else in the circle doesn’t want to have anything else to do with them.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • I think you need to put them on the spot and say “It’s your turn next. What sort of night should we plan for?”

      And remind them of the graciousness of all of the other hosts and hostesses. You’ll find out in a hurry if they intend to come to the party with  more than a habit!

      And, if they waver or refuse to reciprocate, then you are perfectly justified in letting them know that it is expected that everyone involved with take their fair share. If they will not contribute, they just won’t be invited to future gatherings.

      As far as someone else’s broken item, I would recommend you leave that between them. Getting yourself in the middle is just asking for trouble, in my opinion.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • I like the idea of putting them on the spot and saying it’s your turn next. Since they want to know when the next gathering is going to be held, I suggest the next one be at their house.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Thanks, Feather and Leading lady. But I don’t think anyone wants to go to their home after the last invite to their home which was a disaster.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Yes, you need to be strict with the rules. The next gathering is at their house, they need to bring XYZ, or whatever. I belong to a supper club that meets every 6 weeks and there are rules to follow....no slackers allowed!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Personally, I would not bother with them.  

      There are certain ways to treat people upon first meeting and if they gave a bad impression they wouldn’t had an invite to anymore gatherings.

      Nip it in the bud, now! Let them know the truth. What could it hurt? They would be the ones missing out...not anyone else.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Leadinglady, as I mentioned they would put themselves on this pedestal like they got it like that, well when we all were invited to their home for cocktails via mail invitation it stated that we were coming for margaritas and mexican cusine, well we all took somethingto contribute to the menu I took spanish rice, we all get there they only had 1 pitcher of margarita which was a hot mess because she didn’t knowe how to make it her and her hubby drank the majority of it, the food was poorly prepared and it wasn’t enough they didn’t socialize with us much but with their other guest then her hubby left the room and went upstair to watch sports and left the men to fend for themselves with the woman. it was terrible.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Oh my, no you don’t want to go over there at all.  

      I think I need to agree with Ms. Kay, leave them alone. Eventually they will get the hint.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Yeah thats what we’ve been doing thus far but she keeps calling me inquiring about the next meet. I don’t mind telling them the truth but my hubby told me not to just leave it as it is and they’ll get the messesage sooner or later.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cassandra wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Some people just never get the message .I have a friend that has learned that the hard way.
      You don’t want to avoid the phone because others don’t get it .
      I would just tell them the truth I feel that is the best way to handle it . You don’t have to be mean but just let them know that if they would like to be a part of the group everyone contributes and if thats not possible for them they can stay home .




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Sorry teeky, I’m not going to lie just to save them face for their selfishness and inconsiderate ways. I still want them to know the truth but my hubby doesn’t want me to be the one to tell them and no they aren’t that good of friends they were just invited because we thought they might fit in not knowing how they really were, now we know and they don’t fit in.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • LOL, yes it is ashame to walk around thinking you‘re all that and don’t have a clue about your wrong doings lol. Thanks teeky by the way I love your spirit too! ; )




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • neicy, gimme their number, I’ll tell them for you!! tongue out




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • Mztracy I’m ROTFLMBO thanks but its ok they’ll get the hint I’m going about it as I have been they will eventually get the message. thanks all for your input.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 19, 2008
    • I agree with Ms. Kay, I would not bother with them anymore. Like Teeky said, some people just have no clue as to etiquette, sad but true.
      If they call just say you have other plans and leave it at that. No need to explain what the plans are, it’s really not their business.




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