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Have any of you been in a relationship with someone who had a drug addiction? Are you still with that person and if not, how did you get strong and get out of the relationship?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • We’ve been dealing with this for awhile now with my stepdaughter. It has torn our family into pieces. Absolutely gutwrenching. She’s been in a homeless shelter for women for the last 2 weeks and actually was kicked out of there for stealing and using. We’ve told her she can not come back to our home ever again and we will not do anything for her until she’s in a rehab center - inpatient rehab is all we’ll accept. Now it looks like, after exhausting all her options and burning all her bridges - she’s going to check herself in. My husband was so relieved he cried for an hour - my heart hurt for him! But I’m still very skeptical. She lies as easily as she breathes so I’m not going to be convinced until she’s in there for a long time and I think it will be years before I ever trust her or believe anything she says again.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • My current hubby was a crack user 5 yrs prior to us meeting thank God he was already clean and out of rehab before we met or else we wouldn’t be today! He is strong has never relaspes praise God and has moved forward in a huge way ain’t God good!?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • My husband uses pot on a daily basis and so does his mom.  He has a job and is a responsible person and it’s not like he is blowing his whole paycheck on that stuff.  I figure it could be worse, like crack cocaine and heroin.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • My ex husband and it nearly broke me and he nearly killed mr because of all the drugs he was using. Worse time of my adult yrs. I got out with my life, my son and an education on human behavior I pray will never be taught again. Last I heard he was in jail in another state for attempted murder he was high at the time I guess




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • My ex used drugs the last 2 yrs of our marriage it got bad. Finally, after him doing drugs and coming home all hours of the night I moved out with my 2 boys..
      He’s not remarried (3rd wife) and he’s no longer doing drugs and has completely turned his life around and is even going to church.. I do wish him all the best..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • It seems like it’s a widespread issue today. So sad, really. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with this. We know how horrible it can be.heartbreak




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • Oh my gosh, Cynthia..your story made me tear up. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. How very painful! And to see him cry like that too...oh man..   I wish your step daughter luck and of course you and your family. xoxo!

      Ang,
      I know all too well what drug addiction and or alcoholism can do to the people that love the addict. It's so painful, sometimes even when they arent high or drunk. Self centeredness to an absolute extreme, ALL the time. Everything is always all about them, regardless of their condition. I was with someone for years who has addictions. I waitied until he was at work one day and packed what I could fit into a pickup truck and a lil red Neon and hit the road- One way, in the opposite direction. I had to. I was losing myself being with him and just could not take it anymore. I never knew what I was going home to with him. Who wants to spend their one ond only life with that mess?? It's just not worth it. And I like what Judy said about being better than the drug! We are better and yes, if the addicted person will give it a chance to see how nice life can BE with a good person without addiction, that's awesome! Careful how long ya wait though, if you do. And remember.. actions always speak louder than words and promises. Addicts are good at that, always knowing somehow which buttons to push. As for me, I removed the 'remote control' [me] away from the 'button pusher' [him].
      It was not easy. It was painful. I cried ALOT, and I mean ALOT . I had to. I dialed the support line phone #s a few times and BLESS them for listening to me and drilling it into my brain [helped alot coming from an outsider] that I could make it through that time, and deserved to LIVE a good life. It was hard to leave someone I loved so very much but it was also necessary 1oo% for my own well being, safety, health and happiness.
      You deserve to live safely, peacefully and with someone who respects life and you.
      Many hugs and I wish you luck. You can DO this.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • I’m married to an addict/alcoholic for 17.5 yrs. He is 13.5 years clean and sober now.

      He was a needle meth user, which is very hard to kick. It took getting arrested and the truth coming out to all for him to hit his ‘rock bottom‘. It was then I told him, get help or we‘re done. He went in for a 30 day in-house rehab. Came home and told me he needed to go back. He knew he was not ready yet. He came home 2 weeks later and has been clean and sober ever since.

      Some people are users, some are addicts [the disease]. I was a user back in the day and just stopped, no biggie. Some cannot and are addicts [the disease]. It was not a matter of who he loved more, me or the drugs, it was a matter of need. He needed the drugs. I’m an Alon-er and hubby an AA‘er.  

      During the time using, I finally let go and told him do whatever you want, just make sure the paycheck is in the bank on payday. I then took care of me and my kiddos. No more enabling for him. Was it Hell, yes, but I knew the man under the drugs was not him. To me it was worth fighting for.

      Now, I have to say he the best hubby anyone could ever have.  

      Not everyone can quit. I have friends whose hubbies never could stop. My friends had to move on. Could Rog use again one day...YUP! But he knows my motto ‘Once bitten twice shy‘!  

      Every ‘addict’ is different. As with any dis-ease you live one day [minute] at a time. Hopefully they hit their ‘rock bottom’ sooner than later. Finding the underlying cause is the key...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Oct 24, 2010
    • So happy for you Tracy. Thats so awesome. I hoped mine woud stop, and Id have stayed forever if he did. I tried. unfortnately, even now I still hear bad things about him.
      Happy for you though! happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Oct 25, 2010
    • Ladies thank you for sharing your stories. It’s amazing the number of people you meet who have had drugs affect their lives in one way or the other whether using or dealing with someone who uses.  

      Cynthia I know all too well what you and your husband are dealing with. My ex husband whom I’ve been on and off with for over 12 years uses crack cocaine and it has been hell living with him. My problem is not in putting him out but taking him back once he is out. I just put him out again a little over a week ago. He has been stealing from me and running scams and I am afraid for the safety of me and my family. People are calling the house looking for him because he stole money from them. He blows every penny he gets inspite of seeing me struggle to pay our living expenses each month. He just doesn’t care about anything except that drug. I’m so tired and I’ve had enough.

      Jenz your story inspired me even though I can’t pack up and move but I can stand strong and not let him back. You are so right about addicts knowing which buttons to push. That is usually how he manipulates his way into coming back home.

      Neicy, Tracy, Judy...how blessed and fortunate you all are in that your husbands were able to get clean and stay clean...wow! I want that so bad for Frank but I know it isn’t possible unless he wants it bad enough. All I know at this point I need to take care of myself because I don’t like who I’ve become lately. I’m miserable and depressed all the time...and taking so much time off from work.  

      Cynthia I will pray for you and your family that your step daughter gets the help she needs to fight those demons and help her get on the road to sobriety.

      Thanks again...you all inspire me.




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