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Warning: VENT. It was my b-day last week.  MIL’s is next week.  She’s broke, takes $ from us to survive and insisted we take HER out to celebrate my b-day.  DH told her she couldn’t afford it and neither could we (she only does it so she feels we HAVE to take her out and she only pays for 1 meal and we pay for the other 2, pick her up and take her back!), so that was out.
So she insisted on coming over to our house and have me cook dinner for her!!!
I told dh NO WAY-luckily I got sick. When he told her so-she had a cold! So she expected us to bring her over, I should cook, she would have given me her cold and all to CELEBRATE MY B-DAY????
Is it me, or is this woman past delusional and her right of entitlement totally out of whack???

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Nov 29, 2010
    • heartSounds to me like she is all of the above mentioned.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Nov 29, 2010
    • it’s no wonder every fights over having to do anything w/her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Nov 29, 2010
    • Carine, you hit it spot on when you said “is her right of entitlement out of whack?” That’s it exactly. She feels entitled, for some reason. And this (I’m not a psychologist but...) has got to be part of her, yes, delusional thinking.

      What you‘re describing about her is a)not normal, b)not socially acceptable behavior, c)not in touch with reality, and d)with a sense of entitlement.

      You‘re okay, Carine. MIL has issues. I’m just glad DH is with you and understands what’s going on. (Does he?)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Nov 29, 2010
    • let’s say he does, but he hates confrontation so he always tries to explain her “poor decision making skills”

      but he knows, he’s gone from  brown to totally gray in the 3 years since having her move from75 miles away to 4.5.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 29, 2010
    • Yep, whacky sense of entitlement going on here. And I know it only makes it worse that she’s now living so close.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Nov 29, 2010
    • you know after 30 years-I told my dh long ago that he’d be better off handling her b/c he’s tactful and patient.  Where I am, by my own admission, blunt.  

      She sounds so insincere about everything-and yes Cynthia, my intolerance for her behavior has zoomed since a)what she did to our daughter b) how she treats her son c)having her this close d)SIL thinking that she shouldn’t have to do anything other than meet our “monthly donation” and see her 3 days a year.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Nov 30, 2010
    • OMG, Carine. I can relate to this mother and son relationship that hangs you out to dry. I was at the very bottom of my X’s priority list. You probably don’t want to hear this, but if your husband isn’t up to dealing with his demanding mother with her entitled to be his #1 concern, I’m at a loss for advice that will actually benefit you.  

      You have my sympathy for sure. Your mil would drive me bonkers!  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Nov 30, 2010
    • oh cathie, he does deal w/ her, but he prefers to do it in a joking manner if this makes sense.  ex-she demanded Pam spray (“it’s the only one I like“) but we found a generic at big lots for a buck.  she goes through this stuff faster than water.  So he bought it for her and then she started her usual hissy fit and demanded that he return it and get the right stuff.
      He laughed at her and said “listen money bags, you go through more of this that Carine and she actually cooks. Since you don’t cook anything except eggs and have a non -stick pan-this is it. got it money bags-oh wait, I paid for this and I’m not.”
      so he handles it-and yes, he’s sarcastic.  but his tone of voice comes off as just joking.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Nov 30, 2010
    • At first I misread what you wrote and thought your mil wanted to go out for her birthday, but then I saw that she really wanted to go out for YOUR birthday. Unless this is to be her present to you, she has no right to suggest it! You are not being unreasonable- she is!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • Ahh..the lovely MIL issues..she sounds a little out of touch with reality and stand your ground, Carine, so it does not absorb you completely.




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