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I’m starting over in every way.  Knowing that set backs, challenges and obstacles are part of the changes, I accept and navigated well.  I seem to be getting more than my fair share it at the moment and feeling really ‘out there on my own’ right now.  Ladies, is there any advice you can give me?  I’m feeling a little down right now.  Mostly because I’m doing the best I can, for the most part positive.
to be honest with you, I’m feeling upset.




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Best Answer

First off..... Welcome to Fab40!!!!

I hear what you‘re saying and you came to the right placeheart

I will say from my own experience when I kept bumping into the same issues it meant I just have not learned my way around it. Once I recognized that I relaxed and was able to be a bit more objective about that issue. That helped me to see other ways past it.

I also know that breaking down the issues/life changes can’t all happen at once. You need to be able to focus on one thing until it’s where you want it.
So I do suggest prioritizing your list (and yes I do know some things feel like they all need to be handled at once...they don’t!)

Once you prioritize then I suggest writing just a couple things down that will help you accomplish each task.  

I usually take the bottom up approach and wipe out the easy things 1st. Getting those off my plate usually frees up resources and energy to focus on the bigger issues.

We are here to listen and support you. Please let us know when you need help. We all listen great!


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kmarie wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • After serving as my Mother’s care taker, once she passedI started over. It was not easy, but I am a better person for it. I spent time finding things that made me feel more in tune with my self. I got rid of things, people, situations which were draining, I went through two spiritual up lifting exercises, and found myself agian. I went back to the things in my life, that I missed, lost time for and rediscovered me




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jennifer Davis wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Thanks Kmaire. That’s where I’m headed.  To me.  I’m going through a total overhaul of my life right now, yet it isn’t happening without a ‘fight‘, I keep bumping into same issues, disguised and they‘re making me tense.  I too, am spiritual - I should practice meditation or something to help me cope.  Thanks.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • First off..... Welcome to Fab40!!!!

      I hear what you‘re saying and you came to the right placeheart

      I will say from my own experience when I kept bumping into the same issues it meant I just have not learned my way around it. Once I recognized that I relaxed and was able to be a bit more objective about that issue. That helped me to see other ways past it.

      I also know that breaking down the issues/life changes can’t all happen at once. You need to be able to focus on one thing until it’s where you want it.
      So I do suggest prioritizing your list (and yes I do know some things feel like they all need to be handled at once...they don’t!)

      Once you prioritize then I suggest writing just a couple things down that will help you accomplish each task.  

      I usually take the bottom up approach and wipe out the easy things 1st. Getting those off my plate usually frees up resources and energy to focus on the bigger issues.

      We are here to listen and support you. Please let us know when you need help. We all listen great!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • @goldengoose, Vikki gave you a great advice, sometimes we don’t acknowledge that we are doing the same thing and getting the same result, and need someone to point it out for us.  

      Don’t ever give up, keep focused on what you want, and set up little stepping stones to your success. Know that even the chain of bad luck comes to an end.

      Believe that THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

      Sending hugs and blessings,
      Y




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Vikki’s advice is the best that I could have come up with too. I’ve been in limbo for a year now and still waiting for “The End” so I can move onto the next phase. I can’t make plans  to put into motion yet, but I have my dreams that carry me. I know who I am and I stick to that first so I’m flexible in handling the set backs, challenges, some heart break and being totally on my own with little support for a long time while married and after. It’s changed
      though with time, and I love the support I get here.  

      As Yana has said, I’m believing the best is yet to come! ;oD  Welcome to Fab40!  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jennifer Davis wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Cathie, you’ve made me cry. I am crying.

      Everything you’ve said mirrors excatly what’s going on for me - limbo, The End, the next phase....
      I year you, I’m on my own too, with little or no support.  You got it spot on.  

      I know the best is coming.  I wouldn’t be going through all this if it weren’t!  It doesn’t make sense otherwise, does it?!  Yana is right of course.

      All the answers should be rated “Best Answer” and I am so glad here.  I feel supported and welcomed - I only joined a 3 nights ago...

      When the World says, ‘Give up‘, Hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time!’




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jennifer Davis wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Yana, love what you say about stepping stones and success. Its the holding on when you’ve nothing left to hold on to that’s the seems to be the challenge.  I won’t give up though.  I think all this is is signs that my success is near albeit upside down!

      I won’t give up

      When the World says, ‘Give up‘, Hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time!’

      Blessings

      PS. can you believe it, Fab40 is actually making me feel better.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tstreets wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • When I am feeling down, like when someone stole my car keys, I try and be thankful for even having a car.  Just how fortunate I am to have a washer and dryer, stove, warm bed, and so on.  I too love the support I have gotten from FAB40 ladies! Thank You!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterfly13 wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Think of it as a very exciting positive time- being able to start over a new fresh start.  Think of it as your life has been a series of chapters in someone ELSES book. The book has ended and now you will begin your OWN story and you can re-write any chapter as you go along.  You are truly responsible for your own happiness! Join a dance class or an exercise class you will meet new people while doing something healthy.  Read self help books and also get lost in a fantasy book.  What is it that you always wanted to do but someone or something held you back- now you can go for itestatic

      I left CT all alone I wanted a change in my life I drove 3,000 miles to CA- I have been here over 20 years and I am always so grateful to wake up to a new day- not knowing who I may meet.  Throughout the years I have let go of those people that were dead weight as they say- it was difficult at times but so freeing and positive in the long run. I have changed jobs each time I felt I was not happy any longer - its freeing to change rather then complain as people do constantly but are afraid to step out of their comfort zone

      I wish you all the best- this truly is a wonderful way to end the year- bright new beginnings—-write in a journal what you want in 2011——good luck!!!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jennifer Davis wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Thank you everyone.  Do you know what?  I actually feel lighter for having shared, reading your advice I feel comforted by you all.  Someone sprinkled fairy dust over this site, because there’s a lovely vibration here.heart

      The thing I feared most handling today just happened.  I dealt with it, and wasn’t bad either.  It was left in a better place and a positive experience for everyone..

      Fab40 your a tonic.

      I’m going to look over your advice whenever I have moments like today and even when I don’t.  Thank you for supporting me.

      heart

      Blessings
      Jennifer




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Dec 9, 2010
    • Jennifer, So glad to hear you‘re moving in the right direction!  I think 2010 has been a challenging year for a lot of us and many good things are awaiting us in 2011! heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Dec 10, 2010
    • heart welcome to fab this is an amazing site with the most caring uplifting women Ive ever knowen and proud to be here. So your safe and have a place to find support and uplifting.
      2011 will be your year. Everyone above gave great advice and all I can add is trust in your stregth you are stronger than you realize. Doesnt seem like great advice but its true believing in oneself can make the difference it gets you through the times when you think you cant get through. Plus you have all of us now.
      Thinking of you
      Cris




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Dec 11, 2010
    • Hi Jennifer,  

      The divorce wasn’t my choice, so what I’m doing is striving to make the best of the situation and moving on so my life isn’t a waste of my time. ;oD  I’m waiting for the property settlement and the divorce to be finalized, and then I’ll be moving.  

      Wishing you all the best!
      Cathie




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