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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

This is not a question, just a way to vent I guess and not sure where to post it other then the question box. I don’t think you can make a blog anon, So forgive me if this is an incovience to you. I’m not looking for any advice or sympathy. Just need to let it out so I can breathe again with a sigh of relief that I don’t have it built up inside anymore.

I am sitting here sorta crying, eyes are watery more like it. I don’t want my hubby to see me and ask me why. I read on FB alot of other women saying how much they love thier husbands and how much they do for them. Some of them even have their husbands on FB also and they show their love. My cousin for one, she is always leaving on her status how much she loves her hubby and my other family members who adore each other. My aunt’s hubby left her heart shape notes all over the house on Valentine’s Day and they been married for 30 years. I barely get a card from my husband if I’m lucky. I think it’s great! I’m not knocking it, I just wish I had what they had. I wish I could say how much I love my hubby. I mean I do love him of course but I can’t bring myself to type it down for people to see cause then it wouldn’t be true. I would love to be able to feel that way again. I want what my cousin has I want what my aunt and uncle have I want what those women who love their hubbys have. Most of the time I feel like I’m some slave or house keeper if I don’t do what he wants he gets in a pissy mood but if I ask for anything I’m asking for too much. GO FIGURE! Anyway, I just needed to get this off my mind or I would go nuts over it. Sorry about any type-o’s or mis-spellings but I wasn’t trying to be perfect. You would think the moral of my story would be to just be happy with what you have. You would think.

 Thank you for taking the time to read it.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Mar 6, 2011
    • This is true, I do need to concentrate on my own situation. Thank you for responding to my vent.happy




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Mar 6, 2011
    • Eva,, as usual, great advice!  

      Anon, I can definately relate !! I hope it gets better for you soon! Is it possible your hubby has some depression? Sometimes in men, it can show up as anger or other “pissy moods”

      Ms.V..I agree, I think that alot of the lovey dovey crap is just for others benefit..

      IMO




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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Mar 6, 2011
    • I know a couple who post that lovey dovey stuff on fb and they sleep in seperate rooms.  

      I absolutely adore my hubby.  BUT... there are days, sometimes weeks, I’d happily ship him off to another planet.

      Like Virginia said, we all go thru rough times.  There’s been more than one time I’ve been sitting here with tears in my eyes because things aren’t really the way I wanted them to be.

      And, most importantly, if you do love your husband, tell him so- often.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Churldenise1968 wrote Mar 6, 2011
    • Anon,

         I really hate that u are going through this. Yes u can’t believe everything u read. I can say truthfully say I have a great marriage. My hubby tells me he loves me every day & he shows me that he loves me. He does so many things for me. I really don’t know what I would do without him. Now we do have our spats and disagreements and yes sometimes he does gets on my nerves. We will be married 16 years in May. Now in the future things may change (I hope they don’t). Maybe the older we get that’s just what happens. But all I know is that I’m blessed. And I hope things change for you sweetie because everyone needs to be loved and feel loved.happy




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 6, 2011
    • My guy and I dont say anything on FB most of the time but things are pretty great offline. Never judge a book by its cover sweety. They probably have things wrong that no one else sees, etc.
      I hope everything goes as you want it to. heart




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Mar 7, 2011
    • I hear you!  Hope you come to feel loved like you deserve to. heart




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Mar 7, 2011
    • I agree with what the other’s say.  I’m married and love my husband a lot but I NEVER post on fb or anywhere how much we love each other, etc., etc.   I’ve never been a big fan of PDA.  And, IMO, I just don’t see the need to post on the net for the world to see what goes on between husband and wife.  As a matter of fact, my husband and I actually laugh at some of our friends who do that.  He’s told me to never do that and I him.  So, just to get under his skin I’ll tell him on occasion “I think I’ll post how much I love you, etc.“.  He’s like “Don’t!“.  LOL    

      Like the other’s said, don’t believe everything you read.  My gf was dating a guy (long distance mind you) and we would almost need a barf bag reading all the bs they posted back and forth.  Why don’t they send it privately????  It became a joke for me and hubby to where we would say things to each other they would post, ie., “I am so missing you right now Baby!“.  Puuhhlleeeeze!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Mar 7, 2011
    • Oh forgot to mention that after the one time they met and he came down, well 3 months later it was over.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Mar 8, 2011
    • ANGELCART:  I am sitting here laughing at your response....that is exactly how we are!!!  

      Anon:  I agree with what the others have said.  A lot of times people put all that stuff out there for show...or to hide how things really are.  You know the old saying...“you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.”  I am here to say...I know for a fact after attending a Al-Anon meeting for a friend.  After attending I was shocked as to how many people I KNEW were attending and it made me think..“wow...I had no idea that was going on in that family or with that person.“.  People who have problems who don’t want others to know (and can you blame them..) have great ways of covering it up for the world to see. But at the same time...there are people who do have this fairy tale marriage and are genuinely happy and lovey dovey.  They like to express that.  Personally it’s not for me but don’t buy into it so much.  

      But if things are not like you want in your marriage...seek counseling.  I’m not saying to abandon your marriage...but it takes two to make it.  Ask him to attend counseling.  But always remember...you are in your at least 40’s...(not sure of your age) but life is short and no one needs to spend the rest of their life being unhappy.  Do what it takes to improve it...he has to be a player in the game too.  If he refuses to participate then you need to re-evaluate the situation.  My other suggestion is to PRAY about your marriage...and I mean truly pray.  God will guide you in your decision making process.  

      Best of luck...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 8, 2011
    • Anon I agree with the others and I have a friend her and her hubby are always ” I love you and hearts and flowers ” across FB but last week she was staying in my cousins back room as they had a huge fight and apparently this fight was one that tipped her to leaving but while she is in the back room they are still on FB all hearts and smiles - you have to wonder at some folk.
      Be happy for you not someone else




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 8, 2011
    • Well I agree with all the above, mostly.

      While my hubby and I tell each other we love each other and have a nice day on FB sometimes... we do mean it. But we are not all sickly sweet and diabetic with it. tongue out We have a one-of-a-kind marriage. Sarcastic and sweet! lol




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Ela2011 wrote Mar 10, 2011
    • The key thing I take from your message is that you feel sad and lonely and in thinking about your relationship, you are almost in tears.  It’s not about being able to say to others how much you love your husband but feeling it in your heart and, more importantly, feeling you are loved by him as well.  

      I assume you have not raised the issue with your husband about the way you feel, which is likely why you feel ready to burst with emotion.  My husband often will post lovey message for me on FB and I have no doubt people think we have the best relationship in the world.  Things are good now, but the past few years have been hell, which nobody would know. Never believe what you see and hear.

      It takes a lot of work on yourself to determine what the issues really are and then work by the both of you to communicate about those issues.  You need to take a chance to let him know how you are feeling if you expect anything to change.  You sound sad-I hope you find someone you can talk to about how you feel that will be more fulfilling then posting on this site.  You do NOT have to just be happy with what you have.  Life is short—you need to make your own happiness!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Mar 11, 2011
    • Ditto what Anne said. And I was in your shoes up till 16 months ago so I know what you are going through. I tried talking to the X but it did nothing, I hope you have better luck.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Mar 11, 2011
    • No marriage is perfect, Anon..some men are open, while others shut everything in...I have one of those husbands who keeps a lot in, and it takes a jack hammer to get him to talk..but recently he has been thinking to himself, that life is short and why not enjoy something different, like yesterday he took me to the Flower Show in PA and he really liked it, because he is interested in gardening and got some great ideas.

      Sometimes as the woman we have to take their hand and guide them along so they feel secure in the situation.

      Feel better, take a breather and do some thinking.happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Mar 16, 2011
    • I had an ex who would always pm me “You didn’t respond to my post, I wrote you 2 posts” ARGHHHHH I hated it. FAKE it I did.

      Now, with my “love“... we have same FB friends, and rarely post on each others but when I do put something lovey dovey, I mean it. What a NICE feeling!




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