Do you think men and women define infidelity differently?  For example, do men think that they aren’t cheating as long as they don’t have sex with another woman?

Back to the question of is this being unfaithful? Woke up one morning, and saw my boyfriend’s (of 4 yrs) phone. He rarely leaves it anywhere other than in his pocket or in his car. I always wondered about that, so I took a look and found a saved text picture that a woman sent to him of herself naked in a provocative pose. That was sent NY eve. Another saved text asking for her address so he could send a birthday gift. I confronted him. He said it was sent by an accident to him. (saving it wasn’t an accident). This was a women that he met at a conference, they had dinner and supposedly that’s it. He said nothing happened and couldn’t answer why he would save the picture. I looked into his phone log and saw there have been maybe 100 or so text since May. A few picture exchanges etc. None in February from that one number though. He knows what he did is wrong, but doesn’t consider it cheating. I sure do. How to you deal with this when your partner doesn’t consider this cheating? He has also since changed his password on his phone log, so I can’t tell if there is contact. I know, that in itself doesn’t bode well.  

I thought we had a strong relationship. He has had lots of stress over the past year or so regarding work and lack of and feel that has hit is ego! Maybe knowing this other woman found him attractive, flirty etc was pure ego driven? I always empathize with his situation. Honestly, we are fortunate to have what we do. We aren’t losing our homes, are healthy etc.I sometimes need to remind him of that.

Any insight would be helpful. I found this out a week ago and just don’t know what direction to go in. I have heard very little and would have thought there would have been more effort to fight for the relationship.