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Bella’s Notes

  • What would you do?

    Posted on Monday, April 12, 2010

    What would you do? A couple have been married 25 years.
    but 20 years before that he had a weekend affair after the birth of first child.she was out of town. He admitted the affair,said he was not sure about being a father. The old girlfriend he had come in from another state. Long story short they stayed together and even had more childern. Well supposedly she found him on internet. They even started talking on his cell phone. Well, she gets suspicious because she enters room and he hangs up fast. She eventually calls number,knows exactly who it is. Freaks out and confronts him! He admits to talking to her as a friend only. Tells her she is married. Anyway several talks and fights later. She even changed his email password to get into the messages. Well emails she found pretty much said what he did,except one was signed xoxoxo at the end. He claimed it was inappropriate, and he didin’t mean anything by it, just to cheer up a friend. He trys to be honest about when they talk, tells her what was said. But jealosly is an ugly monster, and she gives him looks when these talks come up. So now the issue is does she trust him,without knowing whether or not they are talking. He quit telling her anything about them talking. No more calls on his cell or anything she can see. She says maybe they are talking on his work phone or still by email at work. He changed the password again on his email. He said he loves her and just wants to have friends too. He has always come home to her,calls her,says he loves her everyday. Said he would not have stayed 25 years if he did not love her. He has do everthing to prove his love in last 20 years. All he wants is for her to forgive him for the past and trust him as he does her. She wants to get past the past hurt, and move forward. But she also admitted to wanting to get back into the email and find out what has transpired now. Do back ground check on her or something for piece of mind. She told me he is not acting distant, as a matter fact just the opposite,very loving, and attentive. Should she trust him? Internet affairs are rampant. What is a possible cheated on spouse suppose to do? I feel for her and she is my best friend and I want to help! They have been together a long time and have had there ups and downs,but stuck togther and worked it out. He said this is a way to once and for all, and hopefully get her past the betryal of the past, and forgive and trust him.
    Help a friend,

    3 Replies
  • Ageless Eyes

    Posted on Thursday, November 19, 2009

    As I stare at myself in the mirror after getting out of the shower. Knowing I am turning a year older in couple of days. What do I see? A gray hair sneeking out from beneath the colored ones. Wrinkles lining up on my face in a not so attractive way. Stretch marks that make me feel like an old giraffe. Signs of childbirth. You can’t diet those away. Speaking of diet,that I need to do more of.
    But, my husband sees me with ageless eyes. Not the wrinkles,grey hair,chubby tummy,and even the stretch marks.
    He sees his beautiful southern girl he feel in love with.
    Not wrinkles around my eyes and mouth. The timeless gorgeous green eyes he loves to get lost in. The mouth he loves to kiss,and where one of his favorite sounds come from,my laugh. No grey hair,even if it wasn’t colored,just the beautiful burnette he loves to touch. As for the stretch marks, he sees the results of the two greatest gifts in his lifes his sons. A sign of unconditional and unbending love.
    Even though time is bearing on us both. I have ageless eyes for him too. I see my cute surfer boy that stole my heart away. Not his wrinkles around his eyes, I see his “Smilely Eyes.” His gorgeous blue eyes that still make me melt. I don’t see the grey that is salt and peppering his hair,to me just the sandy blonde hair I love to run my fingers through. Chubbytown is a stop we have both made but, we don’t see it or even notice when we hug each other tight.
    We have surrender to father time, but through our love blinded and timeless eyes we see the two teenagers who fell in love,even at first site. Maybe a little more mature, but we still see each other with ageless eyes.

    7 Replies
  • Where?

    Posted on Sunday, October 18, 2009

    Where are you in your life? The kids left home, or are they still at home? Do you work full time or run your own business?

    Where I am is turning 42 next month. Working for someone else, and it is just a job. I have a desire to have my own business, but as we all know the lack of the mighty buck can control the reaching of our dreams.
    I have to say am very blessed in my family and my marriage.
    On our anniversary in January it will be 24 years. We have managed to maintain a working marriage. I say working because we have had to work at our relationship. We have taken the time to care for each other's hearts. We have fought, laughed, cried, deeply loved, and held on to each other through it all.

    Even as our boys have struggled to grow up. Our oldest, Dustin is in Air Force Reserves. He is in an awful marriage that he wants out of. We are not happy about having our son of 21 going thru the big D. The boy“s every happiness is our desire. Dusty has volunteered to go to Afghanistan. He is just waiting to be deployed. The fear of that phone call saying I am leaving, is tearing me apart. We support our son and are very proud of him.

    Our youngest, Chris is still in and out of the house. He stays with us part of the week and the rest of the week at his brother’s apartment. So not quite and empty nest for us yet. Chris graduated from Job Corps and is certified and trained in security. He is struggling to get started. The company he works for currently can’t seem to get him a full time post. He wants a place of his is own and we want that for him too.

    So as 42 lurks around the corner I wonder have I reached my personal goals I set for myself? Do I still have time? What am I now that I am not a full time mom? Who am I?
    I am a loved woman by my husband, my boys, my family, and my friends. I guess I shouldn’t call them my boys; they are young men who are strong and will find their footing in life.

    As for me, well I am going to continue to search for me that isn’t a full time mom anymore. Still a mom, always a mom. Now it is time to concentrate more on my relationship with my husband. Working towards my own business, whatever that may be. Finding out what I want?
    How about you? Where are you?

    7 Replies
  • GeneX to Generics

    Posted on Monday, October 12, 2009

    Have you ever considered how life changes in so many ways. As you run down life’s path from teenager to a mature adult.
    Well most of us are mature anyway. This blog is about drugs. I don’t condone drug use in any form. It is only used for humor purposes. How have your drug choices changed?

     Maryjane has been replaced with Melatonin for chilling.  

     Instead of smoking grass,gas-X is what blows you away. Or should I say keeps you from blowing away.

     Acid,no acidophilus to keep you from tripping (a trip to the bathroom.)  

     No cocain,now we take centrium to make you feel alive.
    I can personally say I have never tried the for metioned drugs. So if I got the affects wrong I didn’t know any better. I have taken the generics though it seems to be the only way to GO. Yes pun is intended! Helps me keeping going. How have your choice of drugs changed over the years? Have you ever thought about it?  Just a thought!


    2 Replies
  • When life gives you the blues?

    Posted on Thursday, September 17, 2009

    I have the blues today! I don’t know if it is the weather? Cloudy and rainy last 3 days. Not sure what is up? When tring to pick a catagory to put this blog in my mind drew a blank. for the most part things are going good in my life.
    I found out last week the lump in my breast nothing to worry about hallejah! Chris is graduated Job Corps!!! Thanks again for all you ladies prayers for him. My father-in-law who has lung cancer seems to be doing really good.
    Chris is living at home and looking for a job and that is stressful, after being empty nesters for short time. Our oldest Dustin,in Air Force Reserves, is out of advanced training, and moved back into town. But, he is meeting opposition with jobs for reservist. My husband has medical issues that, well lets put this way we are expericing a sexual famine at my casa. Few a far between intimate times. Although we did last night,and it was great and well overdue. This is going to sound strange, but it feels like I am missing or maybe morning the lost and feeling of having to wait again to feel that again. Not just the sex,but the passion and connection too. I miss him! Odd I guess but true. I hope that just being honest is OK?

    Live La Dolci Vita!!

    5 Replies
  • Are you having 8 kinds of sex in your relationship?

    Posted on Friday, May 15, 2009

    I read this article on I found this very interesting. Here is the website.
    [Link Removed]

    1. Pushing-Your-Boundaries Sex
    I love the the comment “Wow, we’ve never done that before!”
    I have to agree about whole excitment of something new. Straying is not an option,so I prefer stirring the love pot in my current relationship. Pushing our regular comfort zone sounds like a lot of fun. Mixing up the positions,and other locations,toys,and all kinds of fun things that can be found on one of our FABulous friends website (actually 2 great ladies are here). The great thing is trying something new mimics what happens,when you are with somebody new,and pushing boundaries grows trust between you and your love partner.

    Hope ya’ll dont mind my comments, on the article’s content,but I am stretching my writers wings a little.

    2. Maintenace Sex
    Wow, I can see the importance,but what if both partners aren’t into it. The benefits mention in article is something to really consider to better you and your partner.
    ” Sex all the time diet sounds exciting!”

    3. Embarrassing-Moment Sex
    These can be really funny. The noises made during sex can really be quite a moment too. Like first time nature takes over and you “queef” in front of your love. A true red-faced moment. Yes, I have had that and we too laughed it off.

    4. Vacation Sex

     OOOH baby, my favorite. Try you will like it so much,it will curl your toes. I agree with the point you don’t have to be on vaction. We did the whole get a hotel room. Just getting away from home life,kids,work,chores,stress can make a hugh difference. Location changes can build the excitment and open the sexual flood gates.

    5.Slow-road-to-sleep Sex
    Going for the gusto,but not making it to the finish line. I have been there, truth is I have worked on not taking it personally. It can still be a bonding moment and showing how much you love and want your love partner.

    6.Make-up Sex

     Yes, you should deal with your issues,not just romp and stomp in the bed. Even the article admits make-up sex can be raw and soul connecting,and of course a ton of fun. Never go to bed angry is great advice,and it can spark you love life too.

    7. Comfort Sex
    This to me is the most soul connecting version of sex you can have. When worry,saddness,loneliness,and even the fear of death are churning in your heart.
    The connection,warmth,loving touches,kisses, and sexual intimacy all make you feel alive and loved. In those times that is what our hearts crave. I experienced this when my dad died. I say for me this is true, I did feel alive and even closer.

    8.Crazy hang-from-the-chandelier Sex
    This one is a must do! Wild,crazy,out of control,just some terms from article. But, lets not forget walking funny for a awhile(bow-legged comes to mind!) So sweaty his chest hairs are all over you from all the friction. It can happen on vaction,on mini vacation,or even one day when your house is empty of the rest of the family. It really does make you feel like hot lovers all over again. Go for it girl! enjoy your toe-curling,eye brighting,sweaty,just FABULOUS sex.
    Remember we are Fabulously 40 and I don’t know about the rest of you,but when I hit 40 my sex drive went into overdrive.

     I must admit I have experienced all 8 of these kinds of sex,some more than others.
    So what do you think, have you tried all 8,or only a few.
    Or did this blog start the wheels a turning. Tell me what you think.


    Live La Dolci Vita

    This could be your theme!

     This could be you too!

    Bella40anddolci, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

    7 Replies