Ever play dominoes? I used to when I was around 10. I didn't actually "play"-just liked to line them up in a design and watch them fall. But it is a great lesson for today's world.

Like watching the tiles fall, once things in life start to change there's no stopping things on that line either.

In the last couple of years we've watched the economy fall. We've seen the fall out from that in things like people losing jobs, health care, homes, dignity and self-esteem-which is quite different than dignity.  

At least in dominoes, once you've watched everything "go down"-you feel a little as if you've witnessed a little bit of engineering artwork happen. Not so with the world around us.  

I remember being "crazy busy" (if I may borrow from one of my recent interviewees, Debbie Mandel) a couple of years back-working a "day job", trying to get my free-lancing to pay me and get more avenues of publication, being a full time wife, mother and becoming a grandmother and suddenly screaming, if only in my head, STOP, I NEED TO STOP!!!

Then I got my wish-talk about being hit in the face with ice water. It was just like watching the dominoes! Just not very pretty.

At first, I didn't mind the "cold" or the falling-I saw my employers crying and thought, why? I liked my co-workers, liked having a purposeful thing to do everyday, liked having a reliable paycheck, but upset? No, not really.

Then the "tiles" started really moving-had to get unemployment, had to get my pitiful retirement fund money rolled over to an IRA, had to sit down and work out a new budget, had to stop thinking that we could continue to help others out in monetary ways. If we wanted to put something aside for our own retirement, we were going to have some mighty big refiguring and sacrificing to do.

My first thought was-"I know what's happening out there, given all the dynamics, I bet I won't find a new day job for 6 months or so."

What was I thinking? 6 months turned into 18. Unemployment is now on the 3rd extension and I'm in a cyber-support group for unemployed 50+ year olds. Except now my support includes a couple of early "30's", a couple "40's" and some 60 year olds.

I have been able to increase my free lancing, but it sure hasn't helped beef up our bank account. It's so little, no one even sends out tax forms! In fact, when I lost my camera last month-that pretty much took my profits into the red.

I'd laugh, but it isn't funny. Thankfully, we had an older (read this heavier and less useful) digital camera that we kept-I'll be using that when I need to take pictures for a column I write.

In dominoes, once all the pieces fall you can pick them up, make a new design and start the process of watching what will now come next happen.

With life-it isn't near as neat or fast.

If you or someone you know has a child that has been diagnosed with a form of mental illness -you don’t have to “go it alone“, there’s an organization that can help guide you through the maze, lend support and do so much more.

Here’s the link to my article on the National Alliance on Mental Illness:

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/mental-238416-nami-illness.html

Lately I've been interviewing some terrific ladies:  Patricia V Davis, Debbie Mandel, and Nancy Alspaugh Jackson.  All three are media Renaissance women with very different passions and takes on life.  Patricia (notice I've added her to my list of favorites) wrote a blog about "10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self"-it wound up being re-posted to literally hundred's of sites.  Debbie is a whirlwind of activity and teaches us all how to NOT become addicted to stress and Nancy is passionate about getting the word out there and supporting the care and therapies regarding autism.

All 3 interviews and women made quite the impact on me!  Honestly, I think I could easily become best friends with these ladies and become more than a bit involved in all their pet projects.  

Who wouldn't want to help women (sorry men, I'd include you but that will have to be a different column!) be more assertive in things like helping each other be more assertive, less stressed out and create more time helping children overcome disabilities??

Patricia's 10 things got me to thinking-if I could go back in time, what would I warn myself to watch out for?  What would I try to convey to my daughter?  It's the second question that I'm going to put down here this week.  

I'm only going to do 5, don't want to bore anyone!

So, to my daughter Sarah, about to be 28 on May Day, if I could convey to you some things to consider, here's what they would be:

1-LEARN NOW THE VALUE OF THE WORD NO.  When I was your age, I wanted to still be the "good" girl.  I said "of course I can do that".  "Yes kids, even though you behaved like imps all day, I will take you to the "fill in the blank".  No is a great word-it teaches others you matter.  That you matter and so does your opinion.

2-REALIZE THAT YOU ARE GREAT, EVEN IF SOMEONE DOESN'T "GET" YOU.  Just because you have a different view on your life, it doesn't mean you're wrong.  It just means you don't fit into the typical mold.  That can and should be a good thing.

3-CONTINUE TO HOLD ONTO YOUR PERSONAL ETHICS.  Don't be a lemming.  If everyone in the office/neighborhood/school wants to do something you find a bad fit for you-go back and read #1.

4-WEAR SHOES THAT FIT!  There's nothing wrong with this-I found out that wearing uncomfortable shoes doesn't make you sexy IN THE LEAST.  In fact, you look horrible.  Nothing says unattractive as much as feet that hurt so bad that you wince, purse your lips and limp.

5-SAME TO BE SAID ABOUT CLOTHES.  There is nothing worse than having someone laugh behind your back because the outfit you're donning is either too big or too small and makes you look like you're wearing someone else's wardrobe.  In high school someone was always trying to make me think that I should dress the way they did.  People thought I was a teacher or someone's mom.  I do wish I could have listened to #1 and found my own style before I graduated.

These may seem simple but they work.  Especially #4, can't stress enough the importance of shoes that fit.

Yana posted my review of Debbie Mandel’s book “Addicted to Stress“-but here’s the link to the interview I did with her in the OC Register:

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/stress-236970-women-need.html

This month in my article for The Senior Reporter I interviewed the lady, who with her partner, created a way for people to do both-donate to charity and take a really great vacation!  How?  Read all about Michelle Cohen on pg 28

http://www.sunset-publishing.com/issues/March_2010_dolly.pdf

Today is the beginning of my 18th month out of having no day job.
I know you don't care-but obviously it is on my mind. At the beginning of this journey I knew I was in for a pretty "rough" time. After all we are in the midst of a recession/depression and most of my contacts in public relations were also being laid off. Many of my free-lance writing compadres were also frustrated by the lack of responses from what used to be fairly good resources for assignments.

It sure isn't from lack of sending out queries, applying for positions or offering my services to venues that weren't even in the realm of my interest zone.
Thinking back-out of my own love of research I should have started a list of when and where I sent out all those various "letters" and their attachments.

Whatever-I have to admit I'm getting just a shade less optimistic about things. Knowing you're in for a rough time and actually saying "hey, what the heck is going on here and what do I do next?" isn't the same thing.

I have received computer generated notes telling me things such as:
We are no longer accepting outside queries, thank you for your interest in our publication.
Due to the economy all articles are now being handled in-house.
Thank you for your interest in "fill-in-the-name", there are no openings at the present time but we will hold onto your resume for a period of six months.
Your story ideas intrigue us-since we work totally in-house, we will pass them along to the appropriate department.

I think you get the idea. Essentially, I'm being told to go bite the big one. And NO it doesn't help to know half a dozen others who are being told the same thing.
One thing I did do-before breaking my hand, I wrote up an outline for a book I've been trying to put together. I also wrote an intro of sorts, started a chapter and even asked some of my contacts to write an anecdotal to include. I've even received 3 and an offer to write an opening. I've also been told that once I've written the first couple of chapters and my introductory letter that this one contact would get me in touch with her publisher/agent.

Not sure if she meant it-but I'll find out when I get to that part. I think I would have been there except for the slight physical problem of having only one hand that works well enough to type at a decent speed.

That's improving-finally. So here I sit, typing articles, doing interviews, submitting queries and doing what I can to move forward.

It sure isn't easy though-my only thought is that tomorrow is the beginning of an entire new month (today is February 28th), so maybe it will also be the start of a new opportunity.
Never know-but I sure can continue to hope.

And guess what-just as I was getting ready to hit publish here, A REAL LIVE PERSON CALLED ME!

Editorial assistant for a very well-known company. Its entry level-but sounds intriguing.  

Time to put on my Sunday best-get my hand to help me do my hair and make-up and take a really deep breath.

And I think I'll say a prayer?