I want to thank those who support me through and through.. no matter it was in person, in prayers, in thoughts or even in silence. Thank you... without you, I won’t be here today

I will be walking the “Out of the Darkness Walk” held by AFSP.  

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading not-for profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those impacted by suicide.

I have visited their chapters here and like any non profit organization, if they have enough funding, they can distribute more education material and do a lot more, including coordinating with schools (even universities) on suicide prevention education and training for FREE.  

Close yo my heart, this means a lot to me.  

And if you call to, your financial support to my walk is kindly and very much appreciated. Please go to the website listed below for donation support.  Oh, type in Cheria Thoreson

afsp . donordrive . com

Thank you for your ALL KINDS of support to me in the past, present and future.  Love you all.

Thank you Yana again for creating this fabulous website.  I had an apportunity to meet up one of my online friends made through this great website.

I was in Switzerland and Cheyenne (screen name) lives there.  We met up.  Cheyenne drove an hour to my hotel and met up with me.  She brought her beuatiful dog, Fraizer.  

I was so thrill.  We hugged and though it was the first time we met, it was like we have already had a long term friendship.  

Cheyenne encouraged me, cheered me up and laughed and joked with me.  I had a wonderful evening with her.  

Again, I am so ever grateful for the friends I made through this website.  You all are gems!!!

Cheyenne http://fabulously40.com/fabulously/cheyenne

Chinadoll, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

Hi, dear,

I arrived Hong Kong last Friday but it seems I have left US for ages.  Uncle Joe has kept me busy, in fact, so busy in going places that my calves and ankles are swollen. (plenty of walking by foot in HK)   We dined out 99% of the time except breakfast.  We usually have late lunch during what they call “afternoon tea time” which is from 2:30-4 when the menu is half price.  We will meet up with Sirena (my aunt) for dinner.  Then home for TV or internet.  

The first few days, I experienced jet lag.  Now I have adjusted to the HK time.  

I slept on a thin mattress.  The pillow is not right and I miss my body pillow.  Uncle Joe and Sirena bought me a new bed (a fold up bed/crouch) and it will be delivered before Christmas.  How nice and sweet of them.

The humidity is high here (95-99%) and my natural curl is doing much better.  In fact, so curly that when I met with my school teacher and schoolmates, they asked me where I got my hair permed. (Chinese seldom has natural curls)    

The temp. here is around 40s and 50s and the people here are all wearing ski jackets with scarf.  Yesterday, a lady I saw at the subway was wearing her fur.  The only problem is they do not have heat in any residential unit and they like to crack their window opened.  So we still need to dress worm in our living quarters.  

I met up with one teacher and one schoolmate so far and will be meeting one more tomorrow.  It was very nice to see them again and catch up with those years since we were apart.  These were my school buddies.  My schoolmate said she recalled me being a social butterfly and laughed all the times.   My teacher commented on my nails of being so pretty.

My anxiety level has decreased.  So far, I took my anti-anxiety meds only twice.  One was during my visit to mass last Sunday and the other time was when I knew of how others in SL were helping in tieing all the troublesome loose ends during this holiday season.  Their sacrafices of time and energy, esp. my mother,  are their love to me and I am so touched.  I have only one goal in mind, i.e. “To get well”

I started exercising every other day in the club house here and that feels good.  I smoke less because standing in front of the stove top and blow smoke through the hood is not that comfortable; or standing on the street next to a garbage can where it is designated smoking areas.  Also, they do not have my ultra light 100s.  

If I could repack my suitcases, I would have packed a box of Q tips for sure.  The Q tip here is so tiny and not too much cotton at the end.  Also I would have packed less thicker clothings, instead of winter, it would be autumn or spring type.  

I still miss UT and the States a lot (the air, the sky, the snow, parents and friends, my car and driving, the spacousness...) but I am also glad I am here in HK.  I could not have done anything in SLC other than being stressed and depressed.

Wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  May the birth of Jesus remind us He brings joy and good tidings.  May the New Year bring us new hope, prosperity and fulfillment in all aspect of life.

Miss and love you,

ChinaDoll

I left my country when I was 18.  After spending two years in England, I then came to United States and I have been here ever since.  Now I am turning 50, after 32 years away from living in my country, I have no choice than to move back home.

I am leaving my parents behind in SLC, UT and bringing with me are one carry on and one 50 lbs of luggage.

When I left, I was a teenager, full of hope, full of excitement and courage to face the challenging world.  Now upon my return, I am full of discouragement, sadness, grief, and fear.

What have I accomplished all these years?  It seems nothing just a waste of my youth and middle age.  My son is gone, I am divorced, no job, no house, no possession that is worthy.  I do gain knowledge, experience, compassion, friends, and few gray hair and possibly a few pounds too.

I am fearful.  Will I be able to acclamate my home country?  Will I be going along with the fast pace city?  Will I be able to get along with different mentality after I have been so Americanize?  Will I accept a bedroom that is even smaller than my office I am in now?  Will I like the weather?  Will I adjust to the humidity, mass amount of people and noise?  How about my aging parents?  How about the gravesite? On and on and it only brings tears to my eyes.

I asked my psychiatrist if it is legitimate for me to think I have a hard life despite I know there are others who have harder life than mine.  Is my life in the norm or on the tough side.  He said “It is ok and fine for you to think you have a hard life than the general public.  But remember, it is not always that way.”

How I wish I have hope to see I can be happy or at least live in peace again.  I just don’t see it.  Even with my above average spirituality, I still struggle.  Wonder when the road will turn and be on the up side again.  Will it ever?

So two husbands, two bad divorces.  One son and gone.  Back to the basic, ground zero.  

Sigh and in tears.  Thank you for listening.

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.  He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in the hat.  

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.  

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”  

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.”
I wrote: “Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it.”  

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?  

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling|
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!