Finding the right lifelong partner can be one of the smartest moves a woman can make, since there are many ways a good relationship  can improve a person.  After a lengthy review of the current research, as well as the findings from our own thirty years of research on marriage, here are the ten top ways a good marriage can improve a man and a woman:

1. The most powerful conclusion of all of the studies is that there is a direct positive relationship between longer life and being married.   One study concluded that women live an average of 4 years longer than unmarried women. What an incentive to find a mate for life!

2. There have been a great number of research studies throughout the world since 1987 demonstrating a positive relationship between being married and better physical health. The links between marriage and good physical health are overwhelming.  Married women have lower rates of serious illness and are less likely to die in hospitals than unmarried women.

3. Married people report being happier than unmarried people.   They are hopeful, happy and feel good about themselves.  A multitude of studies demonstrate the same results.  

4. Men and women in stable relationships have higher levels of psychological health. Married people have lower rates of depression and schizophrenia than unmarried people.  They are more balanced and less likely to experience mental illness.

5. A relationship provides a woman with a built-in support system.   Research indicates that women in a marriage feel supported, saying that they always have someone they trust to confide in and to lean on in times of need.

6. A married man woman is less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol than an unmarried woman.  Numerous studies indicate that married individuals are less likely than unmarried persons to engage in risky behaviors including the use of drugs or alcohol because of their feelings of responsibility.

7. Married women have greater earnings than unmarried women. The most recent studies of women's earning power demonstrate that married women earn more than unmarried women even when their husband's income is not considered part of their earnings.  The vast majority of the studies take all of the various possible factors into consideration and the results still demonstrate greater earnings for married women than for unmarried ones.

8. A married woman will save more money than an unmarried woman.  In the United States married individuals in their 50s and 60s have a net worth per person roughly twice that of other unmarried individuals.  

9. A married woman will have sex more often and enjoy it more.   Physically and emotionally married couples report a greater satisfaction with sex then their unmarried counterparts.  Married couples also have sexual intimacy more often than unmarried couples.

10. If you are married, your children have a better chance to be healthier, doing better academically and having fewer emotional problems.  Children living in families with married parents are more likely to have proper health care, better nutrition and less stress to deal with at home. Children with married parents have significantly better grades, test scores and overall success in school than their counterparts raised in households with unmarried individuals.

Linda Gallagher and Maggie Waite, after analyzing the results of their comprehensive study on the benefits of marriage in 1990, suggested that there should be a warning about not being married.  They want divorce decrees to carry the warning label, "Not being married can be hazardous to your health."  They could not have said it better.  

By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz

**For marriage advice and hundreds of practical tips, read the best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts (Jossey-Bass/Wiley). Available wherever books are sold. Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts and take the Marriage Quiz  .

Two recent and very powerful studies about the state of marriage in America offer irrefutable proof that marriage in America is in decline.

A study by the Pew Charitable Trust, and another entitled the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, offer clear proof that marriage is in decline in America, particularly among the middle class and in the African-American community.  

Given the importance of marriage as a stabilizing factor in America throughout our two and one-half centuries of existence as a nation – the glue to social order if you will – such declines in marriage should be of immense concern to all of us.

So, the most important question of the day is, why?  Why is marriage in decline in the USA?  

We have reflected on this issue recently after hearing the stories of others whom we have interviewed about the topic.  We have concluded that the legal profession has a lot to do with the decline of marriage in the USA.  

Think about this.  The American legal profession is increasingly a "player" in marriage and divorce in this country.  And as we muse about all this we have become more and more convinced that our legal system has, and perhaps unwittingly, contributed to the decline of marriage in America.

We have all seen the crass television commercials promoting legal services to men who want to keep "THEIR" money at the expense of their soon-to-be ex-wives and children.  More depressing is our constant bombardment of horror stories about women who have spent their last dime trying to fight rich and powerful husbands for years in divorce court.  It isn't supposed to be this way.

While the legal system in divorce proceedings is principally designed to protect children and the mothers who have contributed mightily to the success of a husband throughout the course of a marriage, the lawyers have twisted it for financial gain, increasingly so in recent years.

When we interviewed several divorced women we heard poignant and compelling stories about how they sacrificed their own education so that they could support their husband's career.  They reported how they single-handedly raised their children while their husbands were in medical school, law school, or preparing for some other advanced academic degree.  Unfortunately, their self-centered and narcissistic ex-husbands denied that their successes in life had anything to do with the sacrifices or contributions of their wife and their children.  

Therein lies the problem – men who think that all accumulated material wealth in a marriage is theirs!  When the marriage starts to dissolve and one or the other files for divorce, the men suddenly proclaim that they are not responsible for child support or for spousal support.

Many of the women we have interviewed tell us that judges will often order the fair and equitable division of the family assets according to the laws of the state they reside in, the ex-husband will agree in writing, but often ends up appealing the decision to a higher court so that he does not have to share the family assets – the assets he considers his OWN!  It goes on and on.  And it isn't fair!

There is something terribly wrong with this picture!  But there is more.

Often times, judges will order child support and spousal maintenance only to have the ex-husband and his band of lawyers renege on the commitment.  In most all states a husband is NOT allowed to unilaterally and arbitrarily decide to stop or withhold child and spousal support payments.  Yet, many do and oftentimes, the judges let them get by with it!  Sometimes, the judges will not support the very orders they delivered from the bench!  How shameful is that?

Here is the point of all this – whatever happened to justice? Why do women and their children suffer unnecessarily in a court system that is designed to protect them?  Why do the courts not support the level playing field they are obligated to support?  

All of this discussion brings us back to our main question – are lawyers and the American legal system responsible, even partly so, for the decline of marriage in America?  Our answer is, YES!  Here's why.

It is our thesis that many people are, indeed, avoiding marriage for a myriad of reasons too numerous to mention.  However, one of the main reasons people are avoiding marriage is their fear of failing at marriage. Their fear of being forced to deal with the suffering and unfairness they might face in a corrupt legal system that cares little about them and so much more about protecting the powerful, the abusive, and the selfish.

The divorce laws in most states are designed to protect the children of marriage.  They are designed to protect the women who make enormous contributions to a marriage.  But why are those same women later denied those things for which they are entitled from that marriage as a result of spurious legal proceedings.

When you think about it, is it little wonder so many people are avoiding marriage?  It seems clear to us that many fear the legal system they will face if their marriage doesn't work out.  The legal system seems increasingly hostile to women and children.  The dangers of this are certainly something to be concerned about.  Expect more from us on this topic.

By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz

**For marriage advice and hundreds of practical tips, read the best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts (Jossey-Bass/Wiley). Available wherever books are sold. Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts and take the Marriage Quiz  .