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The bond between the parent and child is special and unique. When this relationship is based on the strong foundation of trust, it blossoms and lasts a lifetime. How you relate to your child and the messages that you convey through your inter-actions, will be instrumental in building a trusting relationship.
Here is what you need to know how to build a trusting relationship:
* Communication is vital
It is through effective communication that relationships blossom; this is so especially between the parent and child. Taking time and communicating effectively either by words or actions, to children is of prime importance. It conveys a sense of understanding between the parent and the child. Once your child has no fear of being judged, criticized or denied parental love, he/she will be able to make independent decisions—-fan important factor in child development.
* Power of unconditional love
Unconditional love from parents can equip children with a positive sense of identity; build their self-confidence and strengthen their sense of belonging. While tolerance of continual wrong-doing is not recommended, it would be in your child’s best interest, to exercise caution and practice subtle restraint—- rather than resort to direct confrontation.
* Need for setting a good example
Setting a good example to your child is the key factor. How you deal with each specific situation can have a direct bearing on how your child feels about himself. There are a myriad ways you can influence your child—-the most significant being, mutual respect and trust. It is your interaction with others in general and your child in particular, your beliefs, your values, your coping mechanism and outlook on life, which can create a positive impact on your child’s life.
The importance of a trusting relationship between the parent and child cannot be overemphasized. Parental love that remains constant, can work wonders for your child. Parents, who make this a pivotal force in dealing with their child, can enjoy a lifetime of fulfilling relationship.
Good education aims at nurturing the mind, fostering individuality and developing the personality of your child. Basic education begins in the home, long before formal education takes place in schools and colleges. Teaching by example and encouraging the growing child’s natural interest in learning, is the key.
Here is what good education can do for your child :
Develops the mind
Development of the mind is the basis of a child’s intellectual growth. It enables the child to think out solutions to problems independently- - - to freely allow the child to develop his/her potential. Variety of teaching methods sparks the child’s interest, and enhances the educational process making learning meaningful.
Good education can help to develop character; this includes development of behavior and social skills. Character-building can be reinforced in the home where basic values like honesty, kindness and empathy can be taught and instilled right from the early stage of child’s development. Later, these can be reinforced and incorporated in schools.
Develops moral consciousness
Development of moral consciousness is an important part of good education. Children need to be morally conscious about the good and bad behavior options they are bound to encounter from time to time in their homes and outside the homes. They need to be morally responsible for their behavior and understand that rights also entail responsibilities.
Develops time management skills
Imbibing time-managements skills is a vital element of good education. Teaching children the value of time reaps rich benefits in the future. For example, children need to be punctual in submitting their homework assignments on time. Such a training helps in fostering a sense of responsibility in children which will be crucial to their success in later years.
Develops team spirit
Another important element of good education is the development of team spirit. Introducing reading as a shared family activity, sharing books, ideas and daily experiences teaches children to shift their focus from the element of "me" to "us" and builds up team spirit. It becomes all the more beneficial at school when children have to share the learning tools as well as their teacher's attention.
Develops the right perspective
Good education need not be purely theoretical. It can develop the right perspective to living a fuller life is equally important. Learning important life skills like doing chores in the house, gardening, cooking, and sewing are all an integral part of good education.
Parents and educators would do well to put all the above elements of good education into practice right there in their homes and schools, thus yielding a significant impact on their children's adult lives.
Teaching children a vast array of life skills can equip them to face the challenges of the real world. Let your children clearly understand your expectations; these need to be age-appropriate matching with your child’s gender, temperament and latent abilities.
Here are six vital life skills parents should teach their children:
It is critical that parents make each of their children feel a sense of pride in who he/she is. Self-awareness can be created by parents when each child is respected as a separate entity. Encourage your child to blossom naturally in accordance to his/her choice and not be manipulated by any external pressures.
2 ~ Responsibility
Children need to learn to take full responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, attitude, actions and behavior. Their drive towards independence should not be thwarted.
Begin by letting children learn to take care of themselves and their things; let them be responsible for keeping their toys, books, clothes and room in order.
3 ~ Practical life-skills
Self-care is of great importance. Children need to learn from early on, how to take care of themselves, how to maintain personal hygiene and take good care of their belongings. Let your home be a practical learning center for children to participate in all family activities including all household chores. Children can be trained to do cleaning, mopping, dusting, laundry, preparation of breakfast and setting the family table for meals.
4 ~ Inter-personal skills
Children need to learn how to communicate and express their thoughts and feelings effectively without any qualms. Parents can help by initiating conversations and discussions and drawing children out from their shells. Careful listening on the part of the parents can help child to develop assertiveness; it could make children feel important—-knowing their parents are truly interested and their opinions are respected.
5 ~ Decision-making skills
Children need to learn how to make good decisions by carefully weighing the pros and cons relevant to the choices they have. Parents can teach children by involving them in making family decisions like going on vacations, choice of gifts for family members and places to visit. When children's opinions are heard and views taken into consideration, it could trigger confidence in them to make other decisions pertaining to their own lives like career or work choice in the future.
6 ~ Management skills
Managing all aspects of one's life is an essential skill for children to learn. Children should be taught from early stages of development, the importance of time-management. Parents can help by encouraging their children to get up and be ready for school on time, complete and submit their homework on time and also do their assigned chores on time without nagging or constant reminders.
Finally, as parents we need to be persistent and consistent in teaching all the above life skills to our children. We need to set a good example to our children by practicing what we teach them. We need to set higher goals and standards of behavior for our children so that they can confidently make a place for themselves in today's competitive world. With your help and support, your children can grow up to be fine men and women having imbibed the life-skills that their parents devotedly taught them.
Parenting with Purpose by Robert Reasoner and Marilyn Lane
Life Skills for Kids: Equipping your child for the real world by Christine Field
It is of critical importance that parents make a diligent effort to improve on their child's self-esteem. Remember: you as a parent could be the best person to raise your child's self-esteem and take it to its highest level.
It is universally acknowledged that self-esteems triggers success. It accelerates one's performance and is the essence of all positive outcomes your child may encounter in his daily life.
Here are five distinct ways you can improve your child's self-esteem:
1. Maintain balance
Maintaining balance in your parenting style can be the key. Allow your child to willingly follow the rules you have set; but avoid thrusting these on your child without an explanation as to why they are important to follow. Always be generous in your praise once you perceive your child making genuine attempt to abide by your authority.
2. Encourage consistently
Parents can be the best motivators for encouraging positive behavior in children. Your appreciation, trust and respect can consistently encourage your child's feelings of self-worth and dramatically shape your child's self-esteem. By handling your child fairly in all circumstances, you can greatly contribute to improving your child’s self-esteem.
3. Create passion
Creating passion can help your child to set and achieve goals, and build your child’s self-esteem. Accomplishing goals is a powerful way to attaining self-esteem. By believing in your own capability as a parent, you can inspire and motivate your child to move forward with passion, excitement and conviction. Creating passion to follow through with whatever your child undertakes can be most effective in meeting with success—-thereby improving his/her self-esteem.
4. Use focus
Focus on your child's strengths and underplay his weaknesses. Teach your child the value of effective time management; let him understand that it is essential for success. Help your child to focus on good study habits. Your personal focus and intent could yield a powerful impact on your child's attitude to learning and help him to move in the right direction and improve your child's self-image and self-esteem.
5. Foster communication
Foster in your child the necessity of communicating well with you and your entire family. let your child know that through communication of one's thoughts, feelings and beliefs, much can be achieved. Use your persuasive skills to get your child to believe and cooperate with you. Help your child to communicate effectively with his teachers and friends; let him know that building a good rapport through communication, could build healthier relationships and boost his/her ego.
There's nothing more important to a child than having parents who genuinely care. these are the parents who are bent on gifting their child with a whole range of positive attributes. Improving on your child’s self-esteem is your responsibility as a parent. Eventually, self-esteem improves when children are valued by all those around them. Parents can make a significant difference. Your example and commitment can pave the way for your child's success in the years to come
Being on the threshold of adulthood, your teen will be required to make umpteen decisions—-big or small, each day. Learning to use the decision-making process effectively, would help your teen to move steadily towards the goals set and help him/her to develop into a contributing, productive and successful adult.
Studies indicate that teenagers, who are consistently allowed to make decisions affecting themselves and who frequently participate in the family decision-making process, are more likely to feel confident, competent and better equipped to cope with life's challenges. These teens will ultimately mature and learn significant lessons from their successes and mistakes.
Here are 4 simple steps to help your teen in the decision-making process:
1.Model appropriate behavior
As a responsible parent, you are already proficient in decision-making skills. Let your teen see you making good decisions by weighing several pros and cons. By modeling this type of appropriate behavior, your teen will learn to follow suit and do likewise. Keep in mind that your teenager is fast becoming a perceptive individual forming his/her own judgments on various issues. Allowing your teen the freedom to sift through all the information he/she has gathered, could simplify the decision-making process for your teen.
2. Encourage connectivity
Connectivity is a two-way street; your teen needs to learn how to effectively connect with others—-family, teachers, relatives and friends. There's a lot your teen can learn through these communication. You could initiate frequent conversations and discussions pertaining to your teen's interest. Encouraging your teen to take the lead and arrive at making decisions, could raise his self-esteem and self-confidence.
3.Empower your teen
Help your child to feel empowered at home and school by allowing him/her to make decisions pertaining to long-term and short-term goals. By making independent decisions, your teen will be better able to make the right choices pertaining to the many issues and problems he may be required to face from time to time. Empowerment could trigger competence, generate independence and improve your teen’s performance, ultimately leading to greater success in all areas of life.
4. Avoid being judgmental
Be prepared that your teen, however competent he/she may be, could very likely make mistakes as a result of bad decisions made.It could happen that he/she may even be lead to undesired behavior. However, it's best that you avoid being judgmental or critical at all costs. Making mistakes does not make him/her a "bad" kid. Try to be tolerant of your teen's failings and use the unfortunate incidents, as a valuable lesson for your teen.
Parents, your guidance, encouragement and support can be most valuable in helping your teen to make good decisions eventually. By being respectful and not reproachful, your teen will learn to respect you, take you into confidence and be proud of your continual support. Provide your teen plenty of opportunities to think, decide, act and solve his/her own problems. In doing so, your teen’s decision-making process can be greatly enhanced.
Sources: Be a Parent, not a Pushover by MaryAnn Rosenthal
The Good Teen by Richard Lerner
The paradox today is that in spite of our advancement in every field of human endeavor, parents tend to overly protect their children and fail to set limits, impose discipline and say a firm "no" to their children.
Child-rearing experts have cited several cases where parents attempt to fulfill their child's every wish, whim and fancy; the result being, that children no longer obey their parents and lack the ability to live up to their parent's expectations. There have been warnings from psychologists and counselors urging parents not to turn their children into out-of-control brats. In a number of families, it is the children who seem to be running the homes as substantiated from the programs like 'Super Nanny.'
It is therefore advisable that under no circumstances, should parents underestimate their parental role or their powerful influence on their child. Some parents simply do not have the heart or the inclination to say no to their child for whatever their demands may be. However, parents need to understand that their reluctance to exercise authority is not an effective mode of parenting; on the contrary, they are failing to provide what their child needs most: Discipline. Discipline indeed, is the bedrock of good character and it can be the foundation for your child's future successes. So, how should parents say a firm "no" to their child?
Here are three basic tips on how to say no to your child:
1. Be realistic in your approach and approach. Allow your child to live and learn in a normal world. Avoid showering your child with undeserved praise like, "you are a genius" if he brings an A or "you are so wonderful" when he/she makes an attempt at homework. Children need to know that approval, praise and accomplishment, can only be forthcoming by effort and hard work.
2. Deal with your child's anxiety and fear in an appropriate manner. Let your child know that your love and respect will not be dependent on his/her failure or success. Tell him/her that as long as the intention and effort is there, its O.K. to make mistakes or fail; in fact, this could be the best way to learn and succeed.
3.Set clear rules and reasonable expectations of your child’s behavior. Use the far-fetching "power of no" and say no to your child—- even several times a day if required, instead of caving in to his/her demands. This will teach your child the most valuable lesson—- respect for your authority. Rules provide structure; your child needs it to refrain from seeking instant gratification.
Parenting is an exciting journey through life; make it a fruitful one for yourself and your child. Remember, there is no magic formula for parenting; nor is there perfect parenting. Accept your child's limitations and find balance between discipline and indulgence to best suit your family needs. By consistently adopting the above techniques, you will not only learn to effectively say no to your child, but also simultaneously teach him/her to accept your "no" gracefully.
Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World by Jill Rigby