Parents have the greatest influence in inspiring and lighting up their children’s lives. Taking on full responsibility as a parent is of prime importance; parental attitude and actions can leave an indelible mark on their children's future. By formulating a success plan and tapping your child’s potential to the fullest extent, you can influence your child in myriad of positive ways.

Here are some guidelines to make sure your actions influence your child positively at all times:

Teach by Example

Remember, children learn best from the examples you set. Be a good role model; try to model the best aspects of human nature to your children. The choice and tone of words you use and the behavior and actions you demonstrate can be the single greatest determinant on how your child will develop as an adult. Remember parents, you are continuously being watched, listened to and emulated by your children.  

Give Time

Make sure to spend as much of quality time with your child as possible—-no matter how busy you may be. Your keen interest and involvement, is important in understanding your child’s complex needs. Show your genuine interest by listening carefully to what your child is trying to convey and respond to your child’s emotional needs with productive conversations.

Set moral standards

A child primarily learns good work ethics from his parents. Setting strong moral standards is the key to good parenting. Your child’s character can be formed based on the emphasis you make on the principles of morality. The essential core values like honesty, integrity, kindness and compassion can be incorporated into the family lifestyle—-make sure you follow the same code of conduct and moral standards you have set for your child.

Show Respect

Respect is the foundation for a loving long-term relationship. You can earn your child's respect by being respectful to him. Accepting your child “as is” will help your child positively and build his self-confidence and self-esteem. Never belittle your child and always have empathy for his feelings. Avoid judging or criticizing your child; an outburst of parental anger, verbal abuse or manipulation is unacceptable and damaging to a child’s ego.  

Entrust Responsibility

Responsibility empowers the child. The core element to influencing your child positively is to entrust responsibility on your child's shoulders. Let your child know that he is responsible for his actions and hence needs to face the consequences of his behavior. Communicate limits to your child’s behavior while negotiating the best alternatives can be more effective than empty threats.  

Enforce Discipline

Parental control entails enforcing discipline. Home is the best place where your child can be taught to abide by the rules. Insist on your child sharing household duties, refrain from using foul language and put a firm taboo on late night partying and day-time sleeping or excessive use of television, internet or telephone.  “Tough love” can have a greater positive impact on your child’s life than all the cajoling and reasoning put together.

Share Fun activities

  Creating fun activities to share with the entire family can significantly influence your child’s life in positive ways. Offer your child the many splendored joys of meaningful family traditions. Share the joys of simplistic pleasures over materialistic pursuits. Enjoy enriching experiences with your child. Let your child imbibe love of God’s bounty by encouraging family picnics in the park amidst the marvels of Nature.

Conclusion

Parents, who stand committed to putting their child first and following up with appropriate actions, seldom fail. By working steadily towards your goal, you can make sure that your actions influence your child in positive ways-molding him into a happy, independent and productive member of the society and the world.

Parents need to take the responsibility of their children, seriously. Raising children to become morally strong, caring, contributing and happy human beings is indeed a parental responsibility. You owe it to yourself and your child; you need to make it your life purpose.  

However, is this goal possible in the 21st century? Yes, it is possible when parents are prepared to take on greater responsibility for their children.

 But alas! Today’s parents are busier than ever! Many despair at their inability to raise good children—-kids who turn out to be good, productive and responsible adults. Who is to blame? Should parents be mere bystanders or should they gear up and be a strong line of defense for their children?

Here are some important points that parents need to consider to ensure their children's physical, emotional and intellectual growth:

  Firstly
Believe that children are our future generation. As citizens of our nation, they will be responsible for carving the destinies of our nation. Hence it is absolutely the parent’s responsibility to ensure that they do their very best by their children. Every child born on the face of the earth deserves an understanding of their wants and needs from their parents.

Secondly
We all love our children and want to give them the best of everything we possibly can. However, love alone cannot suffice. It is a parental responsibility to provide children with plenty of opportunities and effective tools for learning.  

Thirdly
Parents are their children’s first teachers. They have the most direct and most powerful influence on children.  Children thrive with love and affirmation from their parents. The life their parents teach them is the life they will live as adults and pass on to the next generation.  

Fourthly
The loving acceptance and undivided attention from parents builds a sense of trust that is essential especially when the child needs to navigate through the dangerous adolescent years. It is the parent’s responsibility to teach children to combat the pernicious evils which their children may have to face from time to time.

Lastly
Today there is a dire need for greater parental involvement in children’s lives. Periodic conversations with children about the significance of having good character, discussing specific values like honesty, compassion, caring and respect, and inculcating these through the parent’s own good example, would be a highly effective strategy.  

Conclusion
Each parent interacts with their children in their own unique ways. As parents it is certainly not only our responsibility but our joy and privilege to positively respond to our children’s special identity from birth to adulthood.  

*Parenting is a blessing and who better than the parents themselves to take on greater responsibility for their children? *

We have just returned from our trip to Bombay [ home of Bollywood]Undoubtedly, we had a great time—-meeting our relatives and friends after a couple of years. We were fascinated especially to see some fantastic changes and modernization of the city.  

However, what appalled us was the outcome of pressure on the teenagers and youngsters. We were saddened and shocked to note the recent trend of suicides—-right from the ages of 12 to 22! Sometimes  there were 4 to 6 reported in a day! Once I read that  3 to 4 college friends made a pact to take this unfortunate step—-termination of their precious lives.

What could be the cause? There were debates, talk shows with teachers/ counselors and parents.No apparent reasons could be found. Most parents denied any undue pressure on their children.However, as a concerned former teacher, parent and a grandparent, I hasten to write this in the hope that it will help parents to exercise caution in dealing with their children, especially at this highly vulnerable period in their lives.  

  Today, with increasing competition in every field of human endeavor, parents unknowingly lay a tremendous amount of emphasis on their children's achievement. In an effort to cope with the challenges of our fast-changing world, most children feel overstressed when parents over-schedule their children’s activities.

Parents, who become over- involved in the academic, athletic and social areas of their children's lives, tend to focus more on their children's external accomplishments and materialistic success rather than acquisition of knowledge and education. In doing so, they run the risk of driving their children into depression, substance abuse and other behavioral problems.[ even leading to suicides!]  

A dire need arises for parents to slow down “the pressure- to- perform” on their children. Constant pressurizing, how indirect it may be and even before teens enter college, could ultimately send wrong signals,conveying to the child that he/she would be valued more for his/her accomplishments and not really for who he/she is.  

Parents need to lay greater emphasis on the varied opportunities their children could have, strike a balance and learn when to back off and when to offer guidance. So how can you as a parent, ensure that your child is not overstressed?

Here are five effective strategies to make sure your child is not overstressed:

1.  Know your child

It is of vital importance that parents know their child well. You can do so, by spending time with your child and engaging in conversations on vital issues concerning his/her goals and interests. By closely monitoring your child's activities, you can know your child better; you can also come to know his/her potential and limitations.  

2.  Focus on learning

In the learning process, the pursuit of goals should matter more than the end-performance or results. It would be in your child's best interest to emphasize the importance of focusing on learning a particular field of study well; this would result in your child performing better academically. Understanding what is taught without pressure, not only encourages intellectual growth, but also lessens the burden of stress in your child's life.

3. Set clear standards

All children love to please their parents and not upset them by doing things they may not like. When parents set clear standards of behavior and have explicit rules to follow, they make it easier on their children by letting them what is expected from them. Sending the right message to your child is the key; it will lift the burden of stress and anxiety from his/her life.

 4. Give your child a break

To ensure that your child is not overstressed, you need to give him/her sufficient downtime each week to do what he/she pleases. Your child needs this precious time to think, daydream, fantasize, refresh and enjoy doing just whatever he/she pleases. It could be anything at all—- like reading, playing games, listening to music, hanging out with friends, or just lazing it out doing nothing in particular.  

5. Be supportive

Your child will certainly be less-stressed when he/she is continuously assured of your support. Your genuine interest in the activities he/she chooses to pursue will make a big difference! When you refrain from pressurizing your child to participate in any activity of your choice like in sports, drama or music, you have a good chance of eliminating stress from his/her life.  

• Conclusion

The importance of your role as parents cannot be undermined; you have a powerful influence on your child's life. By making it your responsibility as a concerned parent, you can ensure that your child is not overstressed. By staying connected and involved, you will be better able to raise confident and well-adjusted children—-children who will grow up to be balanced adults and make you truly proud.

What is the one special ingredient we are all search for? Well, it is indeed happiness. Parents, don't you think you owe it to yourself and your family to create an abundance of happiness? Surely, there's more to life than just our daily existence.  But as we all know, happiness simply does not fall into our laps; it has got to be created each day while we live. And who better to do that than the parents?

Here are some simple ways to create an abundance of happiness in your life:

Remind yourself

It is important to remind yourself that no one but yourself, can make you and your family truly happy. It is basically how you perceive things. Yes indeed, our world is far from perfect. You may encounter challenges, disappointments, conflicts and apprehensions each day. However, your happiness and the happiness of those around you, is primarily dependent on your ability to re-direct your energy to what's really important in the end.

Recharge your batteries

Recharge your batteries with positivities. Appreciate the sources of beauty all around you—-nature in all is glory, the enduring strength of your relationships with family and friends, your work and your god-given attributes. This will reinforce your energy and spurs you on to attaining an abundance of happiness in your life. Look out for humor in every situation to recharge your batteries and try sharing your happiness with others.  

Cultivate mindfulness

Happiness is a state of mind; by cultivating mindfulness, you can experience the element of "now." It is important to pay attention to this very moment. Cultivate mindfulness by shifting the focus of your stressful situation, into the background; bury it if you will; soon you will be able to find and spread happiness to all the members of your family.

Celebrate your uniqueness

We don't need material things to find happiness. Open up to the feelings of joy and gratitude as you realize and celebrate your uniqueness. Practice what you most enjoy doing; take stock of your god-given gifts and enjoy each moment of your individuality. Adopting generosity of spirit enhances the quality of happiness, making it easier for you to spread it around. .

Practice smiling frequently:

Set a good example to your family; smile enhances your emotional well- being because of the brain-body connection.  It aids in changing your attitude and raises your confidence level. Greeting people with a smile will make you feel happier and look more attractive. So practice smiling often to drive the blues away and spread abundance of happiness.

Focus your attention

When you habitually focus on maintaining a happy state of being and consciously practice being happy, you will find more happiness coming into your life. By deliberately focusing your attention on thoughts and activities that promote happiness, you automatically derive more happiness.  

Conclusion

By following a combination of the above simple strategies, you can effectively create abundance of happiness in your life and in the lives of those around you. Regardless of your circumstance, you can actually make a big difference by learning the basics of staying happy.

Wishing You All Fabulous Friends a Happy and Prosperous 2010

As parents we are often called upon to play different roles in the lives of our children. Creating a loving environment wherein there is unconditional acceptance, mutual respect, encouragement and independence, can build a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

Here are some important steps to building a healthy relationship with your child:

~ Accept your child’s uniqueness

Acceptance entails recognizing that your child is a separate and unique individual and need not be saddled with your bent of mind or inclination. It is easy for parents to demonstrate acceptance when children do things they like or want them to do. However, the challenge lies in letting go of expectations or agendas and readily accepting your child for who he/she is.  

~ Allow a good dose of freedom

As parents we need to bear in mind at all times, that our children are separate entities. Children need to have the freedom to set and meet their own standards as long as they follow the basic rules. Allowing children to develop as separate entities, does not entail abandonment or indifference as some parents may tend to think. In fact it gives an opportunity for parents to empower children and hold them accountable for their behavior.  

~Love unconditionally

Love is the most natural of all the elements essential to building a relationship. It is wise to keep in mind that although the behavior of a child may not be lovable, a child can be so at all times. By separating your child’s behavior from his real worth, will make it easier for you as parents to readily accept your child for who he/she is and ensure a healthy relationship with your child.

~ Empower your child with responsibility

Parents need to empower their children with a sense of responsibility and personal power. Empowerment comes with opportunities to learn from mistakes and set things right. This can be an important preparation for  your child to manage his/her own life in the future and aid him/her in making appropriate choices.  

~ Respect your child’s capabilities

Respect is most certainly the foundation for long-term, loving relationship with children. It means having respect for your child’s intelligence and ability to solve his/her own problems. Parents would do well to bear in mind that children too have rights to privacy, feelings, opinions, and rights to make mistakes and learn from them.  

~  Practice good communication

Communication is an important skill to be nurtured in all families. Assuming, wishing or expecting that your child will read your mind cannot hold good. Good communication in any household eliminates the need for threats, pleas or conflicts.  

~ Motivate your child to succeed

Children excel when there is motivation from parents. Accommodating to children’s needs is a big pay-off giving them the feeling of self-worth. Your interest, involvement and appreciation can motivate your child to tap his/her potential to the fullest extent.  

~ Let go on certain things

Parents sometimes need to “let go‘” while accepting things that are out of their control. Allowing consequences to happen by letting go, will help to shape your child’s value system and subsequent behavior. Give your child the space to manage his/her own life.  

~ Conclusion

Parents have the unique power to build an enduring and enriching relationship with their children. A healthy relationship can last a lifetime! By following through the above techniques and modeling the behavior you want your child to adopt, you can make this period of your child’s development, the most exciting and rewarding chapter of his/her life.

Parenting is an exciting journey. As well-meaning parents, we want the very best for our children. We are oft driven in our quest to be a better parent; however, all we need to really have is a deep sense of commitment. Having that, everything else naturally falls into place.  

Here are TEN valuable tips on becoming a better parent:    

# 1- Love unconditionally  

  Love is timeless and a special gift to be long cherished. Feelings of love empowers a child with feelings of acceptance, importance and self-worth giving him a positive sense of identity. This entails that your love must be constant and not conditioned by the child’s gender, looks or achievement—-which helps in building your child’s self-confidence.

# 2- Create security  

Creating security is the foundation of positive parenting. It helps children to feel safe and protected and  be better able to take on responsibility for themselves.  Children thrive in a secure environment based on mutual trust and respect.  

# 3-Recognize your child's uniqueness  

Each child is a unique individual having his own identity. You as a parent, need to recognize your child’s individuality, develop his or her positive self-image and refrain from comparisons with any other child or sibling.  

# 4- Incorporate values  

As human beings we are defined by our value system and the way we conduct ourselves. Fostering an understanding of values in childhood, contributes to the formation of good character. As a parent, you need to incorporate values like honesty, humility and compassion in your child’s life to enable him/her to be responsible, productive and successful adult in later years.  

# 5- Teach Discipline  

 Parents are their child’s first teachers; you will need to provide guidelines of expected behavior.  can provide a structure conducive to teaching discipline. This will teach your child not to go beyond the set boundaries, fulfill promises and obligations and stick to schedules and family routines.

# 6- Instill a sense of purpose  

Character traits like ethics and fundamental values, determination and perseverance, are all formed through instilling a sense of purpose in a child. As an involved parent, you can inspire a sense of purpose in your child.  

# 7- Develop time-management skills  

Children, who have inculcated time-management skills from early childhood, will be successful in all spheres of life in their adult years. You as a parent can teach your child this important lesson in time-management by consistently insisting that he or she completes all assignments and chores in time.  

# 8-Help raise "street smartness"  

  The secret of raising a street-smart child is to ensure that your child thinks independently and acts promptly when faced with any problems to avoid accidents or mistreatments. Learning ways to cope when lost or stranded, will equip him or her with the necessary tools to survive and be street smart.  

# 9-Build inter-personal skills  

   A child needs to imbibe the ability of getting along well with others and function efficiently in group and social settings. When you focus on developing this skill at home, it will teach your child to communicate verbally, express feelings effectively and listen carefully to others without monopolizing the conversation.    

# 10- Encourage thankfulness  

Feeling grateful and appreciative of all God’s gifts, is perhaps the most important thing you can teach to your child. A child needs to value all the wonderful gifts bestowed on him like a stable home, love and attention from parents and family, good health and the myriad opportunities he has for personal development at home and school.  

Conclusion  

Following the above ten tips, could help you not only be a better parent, but most certainly make you a good, loving parent—-the kind of parent your child will always be proud to have.  

Happy Parenting!