since I’ve been on here.  Not much has changed.  My boys are all growing into wonderful young men despite my numerous moments of stupidity as a young mother; my marriage is stable and comfortable despite what we’ve put each other through, who could ask for anything more :p  

My health remains good although my pain in my spine hasn’t improved much.  I went through two steroid injections in my lumbar spine in April and it made very little difference so it’s back to the pain specialist for the next step on the ladder.  In the meantime I take it easy when I can and tend to overdo it quite often.  

It’s been two years since I lost my job and I’m still waiting on something to happen with my disability claim.  I have a lawyer but I never hear anything from him/them either by mail or phone calls and when I call the office I’m told that  “it’s a long process“.  Gotta love the American machine.  I’m at a loss as to what to do next.  

Thanks for letting me vent everyone!  I’m glad to see how much the site has grown :o)

I was just snooping around the site when I realized I haven’t put in my two cents lately :o)  The last couple of months have been kind of rough.  My Mom had another nervous breakdown and I had to bring her to a hospital here in CA.  The small town they live in has no psychiatrists that take her insurance so I bring her to our home.  

Inpatient hospitalization worked wonders for her, she’s home now so we’ll see how she does.  They changed her meds while she was in there and I could see a huge improvement after only ten days so I’m sure she’ll be fine.  

I was just denied Disability benefits so now I’m trying to retain an attorney to help me appeal.  I know I qualify so I just have to stick it out be patient.  NOT an easy task for me, I must say.  

At least I get to watch a lot of good movies on the days I can’t convince my body that the pain is worth the gain :p  These days the most I get done is a load of laundry and maybe dishes.  

On top of all else that’s topsy-turvy in my world, my oldest son leaves for his second tour of duty in Iraq on Friday.  I don’t know why I’m so scared for him this time but something just doesn’t feel right this time around, can’t put my finger on it.

My kids are happy and healthy, my husband’s here to support me every day; while my body may be giving me hell, my  mind is right and I learn something new every day.

_{Live Love Laugh}

Lisa

My oldest son, 22 this month, announced this afternoon that he’s deploying (by choice, again) the end of August.  He’s in the Army National Guard and had the choice of staying home for another year before re-deploying if necessary.

Ryan was born a soldier or more likely gently molded into one.  My father was a Marine in the late 50’s and has always been extremely proud of that regardless of the fact he received a Dishonorable Discharge for being incapable of taking orders.  Perfect career choice, huh?  

That couple with the fact that the father he knew from birth to age 8 was also a Marine.  From the age of 2 my son has been a soldier.  

He chose Infantry when he signed up because he felt there he would do the most good.  It’s also what puts him in the most danger.  He’s already gotten caught in one explosion over there by an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) that nearly cost him his life (see my Videos).

He’s been home a year and is bored out of his mind, is working full-time but hates what he’s doing, is totally irresponsible when it comes to paying bills, charges up credit cards and cell phone bills until they turn him off and then he’s off somewhere else to do it again.  

His creditors are calling us on a daily basis trying to get him to pay up.  We’ve counseled and pleaded and explained until we‘re purple in the face.

Now he tells me he’s leaving again in less than two months and I’m almost relieved.  He’s a big boy now and it’s time to let him figure it out on his own but this is not the decision I was hoping for.  Damn kids.

Thanks for listening.

Well, it’s been about a month now since I was diagnosed.  My husband handles it like he handles everything else, in silence and in private.  My sons are aware of it (the oldest anyway) but aren’t equipped to deal with the gravity of it yet.  My parents aren’t much help, they have their own issues and are a state away.

I have a beloved, dear friend that will listen until his ears fall off to my fears about the future and what it holds in store for me but he’s not always easily accessible :o)

So, it falls then to those of you that read this.  In this day of hard, cold communication I have to face hard, cold reality......again.

My life has taken it’s twists, turns and down-right demolitions but this is something that I feel on a daily basis.  Makes it hard to disassociate myself with this condition when it’s slapping me in the face as soon as I wake in the morning.  My pain is bearable, thankfully, for now.  I’m still able to get out of the house and do things at this point which I’m extremely grateful for.  

When I look back just five years ago and compare my health to what it was then, that’s when I get depressed.  That’s what gets me to wondering where I’ll be five years from now.  

Okay, enough for today because I could ramble on for hours and not get anything done.  Live, Love & Laugh

Lisa~