The "Am I Enough" Syndrome  

In working with women and mothers, I have come to realize the prevalence of what I call the "Am I Enough?" Syndrome.

Ask yourself, what areas in my life do I suffer from the "Am I Enough?" Syndrome.

Our physical appearance is a perfect example of one of the areas we never feel like we are enough.  Have you stayed away from the beach because you felt too self conscious to put on a bathing suit?  Have you avoided going out socially because you wanted to lose 20 pounds first?  Do you believe your life will only get better when you get to the size you dream of? Much of our life is wasted from feeling we are not enough because in our own mind the reflection in the mirror determines our self worth.  

What about relationships?  Have you started to settle for less and let someone treat you disrespectfully because you feel that's OK?  

As a mother, feelings of not being good enough span the globe. Sadly, constant inner criticism and judgment has become a normal part of our role as a mother.  

As women, with many hopes and dreams for our future, the Am I Enough Syndrome is enough to stop us dead in our tracks as we begin to take action towards our goals.  When I work with women, addressing this syndrome is crucial to helping them reach their goals.  The clients I work with generally have huge passionate goals yet do not feel worthy or capable of reaching them.  Together, we are able to examine what is holding them back and how to overcome these road blocks in order to achieve success.  

So today, take notice when feelings of I Am Not Enough sneak into your thoughts.  Recognize and challenge them.  It is only you who can begin to change those thoughts.  Self acceptance is a life long process and begins with knowing that we are all worthy and deserving of whatever our desires are.  We do not need to be a certain size, a certain income, a certain profession, or a certain personality before we enjoy our lives.

Begin today to embrace your uniqueness as a mother, woman and human being.  Celebrate your diversity and nurture self love.   It is self love that sows the seeds of happiness.

Another Mother's Day has rolled around.  Isn't it amazing how quickly one year passes?  As a way of honoring all mothers this year, I wanted to share with you some ways you can celebrate this day of recognition and appreciation.

We so often get up in the regular daily routine of mothering, we forget that this is a day of not just others appreciating us but also a time of self- appreciating.  Below are some ways I hope will help you celebrate the wonderful woman you are.  

Set an intention.
In our regular daily routine, we usually jump out of bed with our head spinning and a million things to do, never really giving much thought to how we want our day to go.
This Mother's Day, as soon as you wake up and before you get out of bed, set an intention as to how you want your day to go.  Not only think about how you want it to go, but visualize yourself already experiencing it.  Our minds are very powerful and we have more control over our day than we know. Setting an intention sets the law of attraction into motion.  Remember, what you focus on expands so if you are imaging a wonderful, joy-filled, fun day that is just what you might get!  Don't just use this for Mother's Day.  Try setting an intention every morning as to how you want your day to go.  You will be pleasantly surprised and begin to notice that your day begins to flow not just go.

Create a tradition
Is there something you and your family usually do to celebrate Mother's Day?  If not, start a tradition. What would be important and enjoyable for you? Maybe it's breakfast in bed, going to the Nature Park, visiting a loved one, going out to supper, ordering in, having a picnic.  There are many ways to begin a celebratory tradition.  Children love traditions and look forward to them because they know what's to be expected. Ask your family what they think might be a good way to celebrate Mother's Day. Who knows, maybe they'll send you to the spa for the day!  Now that's my kind of tradition!

Do what you enjoy.
Even though Mother's Day was created to be a special day, it can easily become a day like every other.  A day filled with things to do and usually shoulds not wants.  It is often our own fault that it becomes a regular day in our lives because we don't treat it any differently.  Make it a day of nurture and enjoyment.  Do nothing on Mother's Day that can be done the next day.  Create  a no housework, no office work, day.  Instead make it a day of doing what you enjoy.  If it's reading, make time to read.  If it's going for a great walk, go for a walk, if it's having a glass of wine on the deck, have a glass of wine, if it's going to a movie with your family, go to a movie.  Make it a special day. That is what it was intended to be.

Count your blessings
As a mother, there are so many responsibilities and demands that we can often be in a state of stress, forgetting the many wonderful blessings of motherhood.  This Mother's Day, make a commitment to recognizing all the amazing things that being a mother brings.  Be in a complete state of acceptance and gratitude (yes, even if your kids are killing each other in the back seat!)  During our regular daily routines, we become very wrapped up in all the things we have to do for our family, we forget the joy they also bring to us.  So, in celebration of Mother's Day, focus on having an attitude of gratitude.

Be Present
Make sure you enjoy everything this day has to offer. Our mind is usually everywhere else but on what we are doing.  Make a decision to be totally present for this special day.  Use all your senses, look at everything with curiosity and wonder and take nothing for granted. Each day offers us miracles, some big, some small.  Our problem is we don't recognize them because we are always thinking about something else.  Make it a NO MULTI-TASKING day.  Multi-tasking splits our energy and our focus.  Concentrate only on the task at hand.  Experiment with being totally present and see how much less stress you experience.  It takes practice to stay focused but as soon as your mind wanders bring it right back to what you are doing.  Continue to practice this and you will become more aware and present in your everyday life as well.

I would also like to take this time to acknowledge each and every one of you who mother in one capacity or another.  It may be with your own children, with an aging parent, with a friend's child, or a classroom of students.  We don't need to have given birth to be a mother.  We only need to have extended patience, love, acceptance and a comforting word.  

Happy Mother's Day to all.

Last month, I was a guest speaker at a breakfast for women entrepreneurs. It was in recognition and celebration of Internationals Women's Day  Besides the opportunity I had to promote my services, I was also given an opportunity to experience the overwhelming energy women have, especially when supporting and helping each other.

There is a subtle but powerful force when you get a group of us girls together!  It was so evident as I watched and listened to other women business owners connect while others laughed and socialized.

Over the years, one of the many valuable lessons I have learned is the necessity of having opportunity to connect with other women.  As a mother, it has been my life line at times.  The friendships I have developed and continue to make are a constant source of support and encouragement for me.  My decision to coach other women has been a result of this energy and connection.

If you do not have the opportunity to be often in the company of friends or other women's groups, I am encouraging you to seek out occasions to do so.  Make time for friends no matter how busy you are.  There is no stressor in life that won't seem just a little less challenging after sharing it with a friend.  Organize outings with a group of girls.  It may mean going for coffee when the kids get on the bus, meeting after work for a drink, or planning that overnight shopping trip.  Seek out organizations to get involved in that are made up of women- book clubs, sports teams, or women fitness facilities. If you are in business, network with other women business owners.  They can be invaluable in their knowledge and support.  Attend women events such as trade shows, fashion shows or host one of the many home parties and invite all the girls!!!  Create an annual get together so you have something to look forward to yearly.  Remember, don't wait for someone else to do it, take the lead and start calling your girlfriends today.  I know they will jump at the chance to take part in the occasion.  

Our world and our lives have become so busy we need an outlet to release and recharge.  Find a group of women you trust and can have fun with and I guarantee you will feel brighter and more energized by their company.  Make it a regular occurrence and watch the quality of your life positively increase!!!

With the warmer weather arriving, the snow melting and other signs of spring cropping up, I can feel spring fever in the air.  

This is the time of year that many women are feeling the need to spring clean, declutter and organize their house.  Away go the winter clothes and in come the summer ones.

Unfortunately, feeling the need to get your house in order is then followed by a sense of overwhelm and thinking "But where do I begin?".  Well, I asked Elaine Shannon, professional organizer and time management expert, for some advice to get us started.  

Here are some first-timer tips from Elaine on spring DE-Cluttering.    

• Tackle one room or closet at a time, the feeling of accomplishment in that one area will take you a long way to completing a whole house.

• Label several containers. Garbage, Recycling, Donation (Yard Sale), misplaced items, things that belong to other people. Set up the containers in the room and sort each item as you go.  Make an immediate decision.  Notice you do not have a container labelled "I'll deal with that later".

• Stay focused.  You can only deal with one thing at a time. Don't get distracted by the shiny object across the room.  Start in one corner and work your way around the room. Before you know it, you will have addressed every item in the room.  

• Lastly, deal with all the items in your containers.  Give them all a home.  From this point onward it should take less than 5 seconds to put your hands on any item in this room.   Now stand back and admire your work, it will inspire you before moving on to the next project.  

By the time the nice weather arrives you'll be ready to get out and enjoy it!

3 Sure Fire Ways to Amp up your Energy.

 As a coach for busy women, one of the most common complaints I hear is "I don't have the same energy I use to".  I will agree that for many of us, the demands and responsibilities we have, can certainly zap our energy supply.  However, there are some very basic things we can do daily to increase our energy.  

Sleep.  You need it and there is no way around that.  You can't burn the candle at both ends for long and you know if you are doing that.  Take at look at your sleeping habits and assess them.  Are you getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night?  Do you make sleep a priority or do you allow the computer, email or TV to rob you of this health commodity?  If so, commit to making some changes so sleep becomes as important for you as you make it for your children.    

Nutrition.  Are you amped up on sugar and caffeine?  A couple of cups a coffee a day are fine but limit it to that.  Too much caffeine interferes with sleep and can add to other things like anxiety, high blood pressure and stomach problems such as ulcers.  Eat healthy, small meals starting with breakfast and include nutritious snacks as well.  Sometimes when we are pressed for time and overwhelmed with demands, we eat either poorly or not at all.  Really take notice of the fuel you are filling your body with. What you put in your mouth definitely affects the energy you put out.

Exercise.  I can't stress enough the importance of physical activity-for energy as well as disease prevention and overall health benefits.  A successful woman  puts health first because it affects every other aspect of her life. Exercise is an instant and the ultimate energizer. It also reduces stress and can help with anxiety and depression.  Add exercise into your week, even if it is a 20 minute walk, 3 times a week.  Start small and aim for a realistic, consistent routine that can become a regular part of your life.  You will notice how much better you feel, physically, emotionally and mentally.  

So if you are dragging yourself out of bed each morning, start small and begin to implement some of these tips.  They are the stepping stones to the vibrant, fabulous, energetic 40's!

As women, we are often sharing our life experiences and knowledge in the form of advice. We generously volunteer information that may help a friend, co-worker or family member

While doing a personal growth exercise during a course I was taking, I was asked the question, “What life advice would you give yourself?” Giving others advice often comes naturally, however, this question took some contemplating. I started thinking about what words of wisdom I would want my children to know.

Here is what I wrote:

Follow your dreams. Keep your goals in view. Live the life you want to live and do whatever it takes to make that happen. Don’t allow fear to consume you; instead let it propel you forward. Celebrate the successes no matter how small because small successes can be just as sweet as the big ones. Stay positive because negativity can kill your dreams and prevent you from reaching your goals. Life is all about choices. You decide how you want it to play out. Choose wisely. Concentrate each day on making a difference in someone else’s life. Nurture your relationships as they are truly what counts in this lifetime. Laugh and laugh some more. Live each day with your priorities in mind. Do not allow guilt to consume your life. Stop doing long enough to enjoy being. Lighten up and don’t take life so seriously, enjoy the process. Share your love through kind words, thoughtfulness and affection. Hug those you love and smile at strangers. Relish the memories of every stage of your child’s life. Be good to yourself everyday. Feed your body and mind with the best. Relax, deep breathe and give yourself a break. Strive to be happy, not perfect. Always be grateful and live in the moment. Tomorrow will take care of it self. Take every opportunity to spend time with those you love. The housework will always be there but those you love may not. Last but not least, pray a little every day.

Would any of this advice make a difference in your life? What wise words would you write for yourself or for your children?

The best advice I have ever heard can be summed up in a few words. They hang above the door of my living room and I read them daily...Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much. I cannot give myself or anyone else better advice than that.