We're shorter than we used to be—and it's not just because we're past our wear-skyscraper-heels-everywhere phase. No, we are actually shrinking.

Starting at about age 40, people typically lose about half an inch each decade, according to Harvard Medical School. As we age, our spine loses bone density and the gel-like disks that separate each vertebra get worn down and thin. The result: our spinal column actually becomes shorter. What's more, that spine deterioration, compounded with muscle loss, can cause that hunched-over look that seems to go hand-in-hand with aging.

As if becoming shorter weren't bad enough, if you notice yourself losing more than half an inch every decade (yes, you can start measuring yourself like you did as a kid!), it could be a sign of osteoporosis, according to the Office on Women's Health. One study of more than 3,000 adults published in the Journal of Bone and Mineral Research found that women over the age 70 who lose two or more inches in two years are 21 percent more likely to fracture a hip in the next two years than are women who shrink less. Women over the age of 50 are at the greatest risk for developing osteoporosis, according to the Cleveland Clinic. During perimenopause and menopause, plummeting estrogen levels can cause loss of bone mass. After menopause, bone breakdown outpaces the building of new bone in women.

Thankfully, aging doesn't have to be just another word for shrinking! Economists at the University of Southern California, Harvard, and Peking University recently studied 17,708 adults over the age of 45 and found that not everyone shrinks the same. People who call the city home shrink less than country dwellers, and educated folk shrink a full centimeter less than those who are illiterate, according to the study. While researchers say the findings aren't reason to move to the city and frequent the library, they could point to lifestyle habits such as drinking, smoking, and inactivity that promote bone (and height!) loss throughout the years.

Stand tall with these top three ways to prevent height loss:

1. Feed Your Bones

 Women older than 50 need 1,200 milligrams of calcium every day to keep their bones strong, according to the National Institutes of Health. As vitamin D helps your body absorb this calcium, most women need 600 IU of the vitamin a day, while women older than 70 need 800 IU. While it's always a good idea to check your foods' nutritional labels for their levels of calcium and vitamin D, remember that among the best sources of calcium are diary, almonds, broccoli, kale, salmon, and soy products, such as tofu. Top sources of vitamin D include oily fish, egg yolks, and fortified milk, according to the National Institutes of Health.

2. Hit the Gym

 Exercise is for more than your muscles. Israeli researchers who measured more than 2,000 men and women in 1965 and 1995 found that those who exercised, either throughout their lives or just after they turned 40, lost about half as much height as those who had never exercised or stopped working out during middle age. Weight-bearing exercises—like running, jumping, or strength training—put stress on your bones, which signals to your body to strengthen them and causes new cells to be added to your bones, according to the National Institutes of Health Osteoporosis and Related Bone Diseases National Research Center.

3. Nix Your Vices

 Smoking damages your bones and lowers the amount of estrogen in your body, while alcohol can make it harder for your body to use all of the calcium you consume, according to the Office on Women's Health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. While one cigarette is one too many, drinking in moderation is fine. Just limit it to one drink a day, suggests the office.

Don't let your age get you down—metaphorically or physically! Aging gracefully is all about prioritizing your health through simple lifestyle changes. The best part: Your ridiculously uncomfortable heels can stay in retirement.

Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Party in person! On Monday, June 3 from 5pm to 7pm, grab some girlfriends and head to Burlap Restaurant in Del Mar, California, for the launch of Menopause Mondays Live; brought to you by Ellen and Burlap. Bonus: Blow Me Cool fans will be available free for attendees. Click here to RSVP.

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get discounts on great menopause products, courtesy of EllenDolgen.com. Available now: cooling clothes, a sleek and discrete chargeable fan, a "Hot Flash Havoc" documentary, and a natural menopause relief formula. Enter promo code "ellend" to save serious cash!

Let's hang out! The first Monday of every month, Ellen is hosting her Menopause Mondays Google Hangouts: Where the Sisterhood Helps the Sisterhood. For June, she is switching things up with a morning event at 8:30am PST/11:30am EST. So grab a coffee (instead of a cocktail!) and get ready to ask Ellen your menopause questions at this free online event! Sign up here.

Serving in the U.S. military has long been a battleground for women. It was one marked with ignorance as well as unequal and unfair treatment, but the bravery of women has persevered.

When the Women's Armed Services Integration Act was signed into law in 1948, it was touted as ensuring women's equality in the armed forces. But even with the law, women were prohibited from flying aircrafts or serving on ships engaged in combat. Women could not make up more than 2 percent of any branch of the armed services, and promotions for women were severely limited, according to the Women In Military Service for America Memorial Foundation.

In a National Public Radio interview, Brig. Gen. Wilma L. Vaught, USAF, Ret., said members of the congressional committees were concerned that women under consideration for being made admirals or generals would be susceptible to making "irrational decisions." Why? Because these women would likely be in menopause by their time of promotion. Can you imagine?

Luckily, women did not let ignorance hold them back from their true potential within the armed forces' ranks. They fought and continue to fight against misinformation—and they are winning. Today, women represent 14.5 percent of all military personnel, with more than 213,000 women on active duty in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard. What's more, an additional 190,000 serve in the Reserves and National Guards, according to the Women in Military Service for America Memorial Foundation. Now naval ships are even tearing out urinals to accommodate women, according to the Naval Base San Diego. In 2008, when Gen. Ann E. Dunwoody was named the first female four-star general, 57 women held the rank of general or admiral, including five lieutenant generals or vice admirals, according to CNN.

Most recently, on January 24, 2013, the Secretary of Defense and Joint Chiefs of Staff announced immediate rescission of the 1994 Direct Ground Combat Definition and Assignment Rule, which restricted women from fighting on the frontlines and holding combat roles, according to the Naval Base San Diego. Since September 11, 2001, 152 women deployed to Afghanistan, Iraq, and Kuwait have lost their lives in the War on Terrorism, according to the Base.

Sooner or later, every woman will be deployed to menopause, a battleground that is still fraught with ignorance and misinformation. Too many women suffer through perimenopause and menopause, scared to speak up and feeling like they have to power through on their own. It's time for women to fight the ignorance—and taboos—surrounding menopause. The tools and information needed to command our destinies throughout menopause are available to us. We just have to reach out and put them to good use.

Here are my five steps for safe deployment to menopause:

1. Don't wait. As women, we often feel that we have to be the rocks and foundations of our families, and that to admit hardships or challenges is to admit failure. That could not be further from the truth! Recognizing that we need help when we need it, like during perimenopause and menopause, is the first and most important step in finding hormone happiness and feeling at home in our own bodies.

2. Find a menopause specialist. Most women believe that their gynecologist, with whom they've trusted their reproductive health for decades, is the same person who should advise them and guide them through perimenopause and menopause. However, that's often not the case. To understand the changes your body is going through, and to find the best course of treatment for you, you need to have a partner who is trained in menopause healthcare and has a passion for helping women during this time. To find a perimenopause and menopause specialist near you, consult my menopause doctor directory, ask your gynecologist or primary care physician for a referral, or ask the women in your life who is helping them to find hormone happiness.

3. Chart your menopause symptoms. Once you're in the doctor's office it's too late to start thinking about your symptoms. Instead, track the symptoms that you are experiencing for at least two weeks prior to your first appointment with your menopause specialist. To help track your symptoms, sign up for my free Menopause Mondays Newsletter and receive my Menopause Symptoms Chart via email. Each day, chart the frequency, duration, and severity of your symptoms. Doing this every day at the same time will help keep you from forgetting them. After all, poor memory is a symptom of menopause!

4. Know your menopause test numbers. Understanding exactly what is going on inside your body can enable your specialist to create an individualized program to help you achieve hormone happiness. Talk to your menopause specialist about receiving a complete hormone blood panel and any other hormone tests related to the treatment of your symptoms. Remember that appropriate tests and exact treatment strategies vary for every one of us and all options should discussed with your specialist.

5. Stay on your menopause path. By now we know what has or has not worked. With the guidance of our specialists, we are better able to choose the next and best available treatment options. It is important to constantly listen to your body, monitor your symptoms, and keep an open dialogue and relationship with your menopause specialist. Our bodies are constantly changing, and we must stay attuned to those changes for continued hormone happiness.

As women, we have long fought ignorance in order to take command over our destinies. I salute the women of the armed forces who have made so much progress in demonstrating the scope of their potential to the world. These women are proof that women are strong, capable, and powerful forces of change in society. They deserve our gratitude and also our commitment to help them forward in their missions. All of us, whether civilian, military, or part of a military family, still have work to do on the home front: our bodies. So let's join forces to finally beat the ignorance that surrounds perimenopause and menopause! In this battle, we are all in the trenches together.

Sooner or later, every woman will be deployed to perimenopause and menopause! In the battle of menopause, we're all in the trenches together. On May 10, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I had the honor of speaking to military families at the Naval Base San Diego (NBSD) about perimenopause and menopause. With the assistance of They Serve 2, a non-profit dedicated to supporting military service families, I was able to donate copies of my first book, "Shmirshky: think inside the box" to spouses of servicemen, servicewomen, and civilians in military support positions. I am honored to help do my part in supporting these women and their families who sacrifice so much for our country. It was a wonderful day and a great privilege for me.

Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Party in person! On Monday, June 3 from 5pm to 7pm, grab some girlfriends and head to Burlap Restaurant in Del Mar, California, for the launch of Menopause Mondays Live; brought to you by Ellen and Burlap. Click here to RSVP.

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get discounts on great menopause products, courtesy of EllenDolgen.com. Available now: cooling clothes, a sleek and discrete chargeable fan, a "Hot Flash Havoc" documentary, and a natural menopause relief formula. Enter promo code "ellend" to save serious cash!

Let's hang out! Join Ellen the first Monday of every month for her Menopause Mondays Google Hangouts: Where the Sisterhood helps the Sisterhood. You can ask Ellen your menopause questions at this free online event! Details here ­­––>

My Mom is a petite woman – yet very big.
She is soft spoken – yet very outspoken.
She is delicate – yet strong.
She is understated – yet elegant.
She is wise – yet modest.
She is dedicated to helping others – yet she dedicates her life to our family.
She is 93– yet she is young.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

My mother was always trying to teach me the best ways to approach life's challenges. She used the finest tools available to her. But she came from a very different generation. She was brought up when women were not taught to speak up. It was not her fault that she missed the boat when it came to teaching me about perimenopause and menopause.

See, when I entered the hormonal throes of perimenopause, I was irritable, uncomfortable, troubled by memory loss, sleeplessness and a variety of other lovely symptoms. Worst of all, I felt like some demon had taken over my body and was eating away at my capacity for rational thought.

Confused and scared, I turned to my go-to person for all female issues: my mom. You can imagine my reaction when she told me that she didn't have time for menopause. Her motto was, "I'm fine, fine, super fine." Well, I didn't feel like I had time for menopause either, but my symptoms made it impossible for me to ignore it and trust me, I was far from fine!

Later, after putting some pieces of a family puzzle together, I figured out the reason for my mother's denial. My grandmother had gone through a very severe depression during menopause. In those days, some women like my grandmother were given shock therapy for menopausal depression. Can you imagine?! My mom had to take a leave of absence from her teaching job to take care of her mother. No wonder my mom "didn't have time" for menopause! Who would want to have time for that?

Some experiences can silence even the strongest women. I wish I could reach back in time and give my grandmother a hug and let her know that I understand what she was going through. I wish that my mom had been more open with me about the things she was going through instead of feeling she had to always be the rock of the family.

The journeys of my mom and grandmother helped fuel my urgent and relentless desire to seek out a perimenopause and menopause specialist, get answers, and find hormone happiness. I learned that women shouldn't have to suffer through perimenopause and menopause, and the biggest reason they were—and still are—is because women are still not prepared for perimenopause and menopause! For the most part, we still think this is a taboo topic!

As women, we know when something just doesn't feel or seem right. It's our responsibility to give our feelings credit—both for ourselves and for the sake of other women worldwide. It's time to set a precedent for how women should feel in their own bodies. From puberty to menopause—and everything in between—it's up to us to know our bodies and ensure they have what they need for a happy, healthy life. However, many women are still scared to speak up and feel like they have to power through on their own.

That's why I couldn't have been more proud when my daughter walked into her doctor's office and demanded to have the proper blood panels taken for fertility testing. She stood up for herself and her health, and now, two years later, mid planning for her upcoming wedding and her life ahead, family planning is no mystery to her. Her health is no mystery to her. She is entering this exciting new chapter of her life as an active participant. Life isn't something that just happens to her. She makes her life—and the life she deserves—happen.

In memory of our grandmothers and in honor of our dear, sweet moms, let's help break the taboo nature that surrounds menopause. We need to teach the women of the next generation that they don't have to be, "fine, fine, super fine" all the time. They should speak up and get the help they both need and deserve.

I hope my daughter can say that the best thing I ever taught her was how to be an advocate for her own health and happiness. I hope the same for all of the daughters of the Sisterhood! Together, we can make it happen!

Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get discounts on great menopause products, courtesy of EllenDolgen.com. Available now: cooling clothes, a sleek and discrete chargeable fan, a "Hot Flash Havoc" documentary, and a natural menopause relief formula. Enter promo code "ellend" to save serious cash!

Let's hang out! Join Ellen the first Monday of every month at 8pm EST/5pm PST for her Menopause Mondays Google Hangouts: Where the Sisterhood helps the Sisterhood. You can ask Ellen your menopause questions at this free online event! Details here ­­––>

Party in person! On Monday, June 3 from 5pm to 7pm, grab some girlfriends and head to Burlap Restaurant in Del Mar, California, for the launch of Menopause Mondays Live; brought to you by Ellen and Burlap. Click here to RSVP.

Supporting military families: On May 10, Ellen will be speaking at Military Spouse Appreciation Day on Naval Base San Diego (NBSD) along with other medical professionals and wellness experts on a variety of topics that affect women's health and wellness. In addition to these attendees, and with the assistance of They Serve 2, a non-profit dedicated to supporting military service families, Ellen is able to donate thousands of copies of her book, Shmirshky: think inside the box to spouses of servicemen and servicewomen as well as civilians supporting the military.

You've seen the pictures before: A woman sitting cross-legged, her hands gently resting on her knees. She looks so peaceful. Ooooom.

That looks as attainable as a state of Nirvana and about as believable of one as Narnia, right? Think again. A study from the University of Pennsylvania found that meditating for just 12 minutes a day improved the moods and even increased the working memory of Marines during deployment. I'm betting that if men and women can find peace through meditation when heading into war zones, you can find peace during whatever's waging war on your mental health (aka plummeting estrogen levels, menopausal weight gain, and, of course, the stresses of daily life).

"The same traffic jam can have widely divergent effects on the bodies of the people sitting in it. If we react as though we are being chased by a lion all day, every day, eventually those adaptations start to work against us," says Josh Trutt, MD, an expert from PhysioAge Medical Group in New York City. Menopause stress can contribute to memory loss, weight gain, osteoporosis, and even sagging skin! Basically, it can make us old!

Luckily, calming your heart can seriously quiet all that stress buzzing through your mind. Consider this: According to Trutt, the heart secretes a hormone called atrial natriuretic peptide, which affects the release of the stress hormone cortisol. Also, every time the heart beats, it sends a pressure wave through the arteries. When that pressure reaches the brain, the brain's electrical activity actually changes, he says. In other words, your heart can help control how your body responds to stress.

"The heart's electromagnetic field is by far the most powerful produced in the body; it's about 5,000 times stronger than the one produced by the brain," Trutt says. "The heart's field not only permeates every cell, but can actually be measured eight feet away by magnetometers. Thus, it is quite literally true that people near you can be impacted by your 'heart's energy.' It turns out that meditating does something very different from just relaxing," he says.

"When we relax, our heart rate slows down," Trutt continues. "But when we meditate, the interval between each beat of our heart changes and becomes smoother. That interval between each beat is called Heart Rate Variability (or HRV), and smoothing it out is what lets those Yogi masters live longer—in fact in 2010 the American Journal of Cardiology reported that maintaining a healthy HRV as we age actually predicts longevity!"

So now that you are motivated to meditate, here are three quick and easy meditations from Andy Puddicombe, founder of GetSomeHeadSpace.com, for finding menopausal bliss:

On the road: Flip road rage the bird! Sit up straight and focus on your butt pressing against the seat. Start by listening to the sounds around you—the wheels on the road, the purr of the motor—then focus on each of your other senses for a minute. Next, tune into them all, letting them come together in your mind like the parts of an orchestra. And here's the key: Instead of seeing yourself as being affected (aka stressed) by it, think about how you are a part of this ever-changing environment.

During lunch: Do you eat your lunch—or inhale it? If you're busy (and who isn't?), lunch can become just another thing you multitask. Instead, consider being a bit more mindful of your meal. Before digging in, spend a couple of minutes doing nothing, just relaxing and leaving the day's stress behind. Then, make like an "Iron Chef" judge and actually pay attention to what you're eating. How does the food taste and feel in your mouth? How does it make you feel?

In bed: Lie in bed with your eyes closed (easy!). Now, rather than pass out (or toss and turn if that's more your style), breathe deeply. Starting at your toes—and working all the way to the tip of your noggin, focus on each body part. Relax each muscle like you're powering down your phone before a flight.

You don't need to have candles and incense lit in order to meditate. You can take a no-frills approach to meditation; it can become part of many happier, healthier, and stress-free days to come.

Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get discounts on great menopause products, courtesy of EllenDolgen.com. Available now: cooling clothes, a sleek and discrete chargeable fan, a "Hot Flash Havoc" documentary, and a natural menopause relief formula. Enter promo code "ellend" to save serious cash!

Let's hang out! Join Ellen the first Monday of every month at 8pm EST/5pm PST for her Menopause Mondays Google Hangouts: Where the Sisterhood helps the Sisterhood. You can ask Ellen your menopause questions at this free online event! Details here ­­––>

Party in person! Ellen's hosting a Menopause Mondays Live Event June 3 at 5pm PST at Burlap Restaurant in Del Mar, California. Click here to RSVP.

Supporting military families: On May 10, Ellen will be speaking at Military Spouse Appreciation Day on Naval Base San Diego (NBSD) along with other medical professionals and wellness experts on a variety of topics that affect women's health and wellness. In addition to these attendees, and with the assistance of They Serve 2, a non-profit dedicated to supporting military service families, Ellen is able to donate thousands of copies of her book, Shmirshky: think inside the box to spouses of servicemen and servicewomen as well as civilians supporting the military.

Click Here to see what Ellen Dolgen is giving away this month.

Think your hot flashes are bad? Take a look at Mother Nature’s thermostat!

Worldwide, the last decade was the warmest in history, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. Things are expected to heat up even more in the years to come.

Luckily, cleaning up the planet can go a long way toward cleaning up your own health--especially during menopause. Here are five ways to protect both your health and Mother Nature's health:

1. Recycle Your Worn-Out Shoes

 It's no secret that running is a great way to fight menopausal weight gain. But if your kicks are worn out, you could be risking injury. Switch them out every 300 to 500 miles, advises Brooks Sports. Depending on how often you hit the pavement, or even the gym class floor, that could mean you need to schedule a shopping trip every couple of months. (Score!) But don't just throw out your old shoes. Recycle them! Nike's Reuse-a-Shoe program turns worn-out athletic shoes (of any brand) into courts, playgrounds, and tracks, helping to save space in both closet and landfills nationwide. Since 1990, the program has given new life to more than 28 million pairs of shoes. Find drop-off stations or a mail-in address at nikereuseashoe.com.

2. Wrap It Up

 Every year, about 10.4 billion condoms wind up in landfills, according to the United Nations Population Fund. But don't go unprotected to help save the planet--even if you think your baby-making days are over. Women can get pregnant all the way through perimenopause, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. If you are not in a monogamous relationship, remember sexually transmitted infections are risky business no matter the number of candles on your birthday cake. Luckily for your sexual health, natural latex condoms--which contain fewer chemicals than their polyurethane counterparts--degrade more quickly than other types. Some brands even specialize in eco-friendly sex. GLYDE ethical and vegan condoms, for instance, are made with natural ingredients, aren't tested on animals, and are endorsed by the Vegan Society, PETA's Caring Consumer program, and Ethiquette.

3. Stay in the Shade

 Give your yard the gift of shade: The average tree can remove about a ton of carbon dioxide emissions throughout its lifetime, according to American Forests. Plus, trees can reduce house temperatures in the summer, while allowing the sun to warm the house in the winter, both of which can slash your energy use big time. Even better, if you stay in its shade, you can prevent sun damage--which is responsible for up to 90 percent of the visible changes commonly attributed to aging, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. If vanity isn't your thing, consider this: Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States. Each year, more 26,000 women develop melanomas of the skin, which prove fatal for more than 3,000 of them, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

4. Soak in a Tub

 Every shower you take uses about 12 gallons of water, according to the U.S. Department of Energy. Sounds like the perfect excuse to soak in a nice warm bath--maybe even with a special someone! It only uses about nine gallons of water--and is pretty darn relaxing, too. What menopausal woman wouldn't benefit from a little R&R? After all, between 50 and 60 percent of all medical issues originate from stress or stress-related events, according to Dr. Jeff Brown, a professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School and author of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive for Great Health. What's more, women with the highest levels of stress are more than five times (five times!) more likely to suffer hot flashes than are normally stressed women, according to a six-year study published in Menopause.

5. Get Gardening

 Swapping just one lunchtime burger with a plant-based meal saves 2.5 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions, 133 gallons of water, and 24 square feet of land, according to the PB&J Campaign. But don't just hit the produce aisle. Homegrown veggies are the freshest (and some would argue, healthiest) ones you can eat. Plus, gardeners eat more produce than non-gardeners, according to recent research published in the American Journal of Public Health. Researchers found that while only 25 percent of non-gardeners met their recommended daily allowance of at least five servings of fruits and veggies a day, 37 percent of home gardeners and 56 percent of community gardeners succeeded in hitting their produce goals. Bonus: All of the digging, pulling, trimming, and just plain tromping around required to maintain a great garden is guaranteed to keep you breaking a sweat.

Whether you went through the tree-hugging hippie phase in your youth--or always considered daily showers necessary, it's never too late to show Mother Nature some love. After all, it's up to us to help keep her healthy for our daughters and granddaughters! And if it can help keep us healthy for them, all the better!

Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get discounts on great menopause products, courtesy of EllenDolgen.com. Available now: cooling clothes, a sleek and discrete chargeable fan, a "Hot Flash Havoc" documentary, and a natural menopause relief formula. Enter promo code "ellend" to save serious cash!

Let's hangout! Join Ellen the first Monday of every month at 8pm EST/5pm PST for her Menopause Mondays Google Hangouts: Where the Sisterhood helps the Sisterhood. You can ask Ellen your menopause questions at this free online event! Details here ­­––>

Party in person! Ellen's hosting a Menopause Mondays Live Event June 3 at 5pm PST at Burlap Restaurant in Del Mar, California. More details coming soon.

Click Here to see what Ellen Dolgen is giving away this month.

Does your husband understand menopause? I mean, really understand menopause? Chances are that he just thinks it's that time of YOUR life when you get to say goodbye periods and PMS. Hello, sex all month long!

My husband, David, and most of the men who responded to my recent questionnaire were completely in the dark about what to expect when the loves of their lives hit perimenopause and menopause. Boy, talk about being "blindsided!"

When our relationship was hit with a torrent of hot flashes, tremendous mood swings and sleepless and sex-less nights, he was more than flummoxed.

Why was I so moody? Why did everything he do upset me so? Why didn't I want to be intimate with him anymore? These changes can be so confusing to the men in our lives. My husband wasn't sure if my feelings for him had changed or if he had done something to incite my bitchy demeanor. Either way, he feared it would never go away. He wanted our relationship back, but had no idea as to what the cause or cure was.

For him and for most of the men I interviewed, dealing with and trying to understand perimenopause and menopause is more challenging than PMS. "It doesn't come and go every 28 days or so... once you're in, there's no turning back, so you can't rationalize away the symptoms," David says. "You can't just dismiss the symptoms of menopause as 'it's just that time of month' and wait for day eight to roll around."

Finally, though, my husband and I sought out a perimenopause and menopause specialist, and together we both found hormone happiness. We learned that the symptoms our relationship was suffering from were actually symptoms of perimenopause. And with proper medical care, the symptoms faded away. But most importantly, we grew to better understand this chapter of my life—and our relationship. Together and as co-participants, we educated ourselves on the myriad of more than 30 menopausal symptoms, de-mystifying this time in our lives. Information is power!

Women aren't the only ones who need to understand menopause. As a woman, you are one-half of your marriage (and, let's be honest: sometimes even more than that!), and when that half changes, it changes the relationship right along with it. For my husband and me, going together to see a menopause specialist was a game-changer in how we approached this time in our lives together. Now, our relationship is even stronger than it was before.

Open up the conversation with the love of your life with these top three things every woman should tell her partner about menopause:

1. This Is Hard For Me: As women, we try to take everything that life throws at us in giant, superhuman strides. But menopause isn't a road best traveled solo. So don't try to do it that way! Be honest about how you feel both physically and emotionally. Even once you conquer hot flashes, mood swings, and the various other symptoms of menopause, coping with the loss of fertility can be difficult for many women. You deserve every feeling. Don't discount them.

2. It's Not You, It's My Hormones: Let's face it, when riding the hormonal highs and lows of menopause, we can say and do some pretty hurtful things. Sometimes they shock even us. So imagine how the men in our life feel when they become the target of our fury! Before my husband and I realized menopause's full effects, he felt like he had done something wrong. That couldn't have been further from the truth!

3. I'm Still Attracted To You: It is important that your lover understands that when your estrogen levels begin to plummet, your vagina might go from frolicking on a tropical island to being spiteful and stranded in the Mojave Desert. When this happens, sex can hurt! This can be quite disturbing to a couple that is normally very sexually active and satisfied. But do not fret, lovers, there is help for this! With a little lube and/or hormone replacement therapy, you can be back frolicking on the beach in no time.

It's no secret that communication is the key to happy, healthy relationships. But when it comes to dealing with perimenopause and http://www.shmirshky.com/menopause-blog/2013/01/21/menopause-mondays-whats-gut-got-to-do-with-it-the-correlation-between-gut-health-and-menopause/" target="_hplink">menopause, communication might as well be smack dab in the middle of your vows. So start talking! Trust me; you'll both be so glad you did!

Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get discounts on great menopause products, courtesy of EllenDolgen.com. Available now: cooling clothes, a sleek and discrete chargeable fan, a "Hot Flash Havoc" documentary, a health spray, and a natural menopause relief formula. Enter promo code "ellend" to save serious cash!

Time to Party! Join Ellen the first Monday of every month at 8 p.m. EST/ 5 p.m PST for her Menopause Mondays Google Hangouts: Where the Sisterhood helps the Sisterhood. You can ask Ellen your menopause questions at this free online event! Details Here.

Click Here to see what Ellen Dolgen is giving away this month.