If your life is lacking a little in the romance department, maybe it is time to find your inner goddess.
It is important to see the divine in yourself, to understand your worth. When you approach your life from that centered place of knowing how wonderful and beautiful you truly are, rather than worrying about what other people say or think about you, you will see improvements not just in the romance department, but in all areas of your life.  

Here are three simple challenges to help you find your inner goddess. They are simple, but not necessarily easy:  

1. Stop putting yourself down! Pay careful attention to your self-talk and learn to talk yourself up rather than down. If you make a mistake you are not stupid, you have learned one way not to do something. Talk to yourself like a kind and helpful coach, rather than a harsh critic.

2. Take the mirror challenge. For two minutes a day for the next 30 days, stand naked in front of a full length mirror and simply accept and appreciate yourself. You are not allowed to pick out what you don't like. Focus on loving and accepting yourself. Don't be surprised if you find yourself giggling or even shedding a tear or two. If you persist you will find that you become more comfortable with yourself.  

3. Give yourself a make over. Get rid of anything in your closet that does not make you look good. Treat yourself with at least one outfit that makes you look fabulous. Get a bra that fits and flatters you. Get your nails or hair done. Most of all stand tall and smile. That creates the best make over of all.

Finding your inner goddess allows you to embrace the sexy, beautiful women that you are. When you feel sexy and beautiful, you will be sexy and beautiful. Remember, you are worth it.

You may feel you would like to work on your relationship and perhaps you would like your partner to join you in the journey. Or maybe you are simply frustrated and would like your partner to change some annoying habits. You have probably discovered the harder you try to cajole, persuade, manipulate or force your partner to change the less success you have.  

Maybe your partner finds excuses, drags his feet, blames you or withdraws. Whatever his response it has so far not been to enthusiastically embrace the change that you want.  

Perhaps it is helpful to consider how you feel when your partner wants you to change. It probably isn't that you are not interested in improving your relationship or that you do not care about your partner's happiness. It could be as simple as you do not like to be told what you should do. When you make changes, you prefer that it is your idea. You are far more motivated to put effort into creating change if the change is something that you want.  

Any time someone feels forced or manipulated to change, resistance is the natural response. The reality is that the only person you have much hope of changing is you. Even if you manage to make your partner change, resentment will likely be the bi-product. So many times in counseling we hear that a partner has changed for a week and then gone back to the old patterns. That happens because they were pressured to changed, rather than deciding to change.  

"A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still."

Try becoming the change you want to see in your relationship. If you want to be respected, respect your partner. If you want to be accepted, accept you partner. If you want to be understood, put effort into understanding your partner.  

You may see better results if you back off trying to get your partner to change and work on being the best you that you can be.  

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course  

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine